its the small, repetitive things that tire me the most. it feels so empty

[fantasticalreality]

brushing my teeth, showering, working, sleeping, eating, forever until i die. how miserable sounding, how do people put a positive spin on these things? im just tired and frustrated with having to do this everyday, i didnt ask for it. its like my soul is so deeply lazy, and so deeply tired. i dont want to do anything but play video games in bed, like a sad loser. even if i work and go to college and achieve my wildest dreams a part of me wonders if this persistent sadness will still be under the layers of distraction. it all feels hopeless, but im too scared to die and want to experience the best things i can, since the chance to live is so special even if it comes with many hardships. but its hard to imagine dealing with this for the rest of my life. i suppose i either will, or i wont. only two roads in front of me

 

[2percent]

I sympathise with that experience and also have the same sense of burden when performing mundane tasks. How do people put a positive spin on these things? I don't think they do. I think they simply don't find themselves trapped in their bodies/the present moment as strongly as you or I might. I know that I've found it much easier to bear/don't have that same sense of burden if I have something to look forward to and am able to feel that sense of positive anticipation. That way it's possible to live in an a theoretically pleasant future moment rather than the present one.

1. Do you have/try to keep small positive experiences for yourself in the future? Even just living for the weekend when you allow yourself to have a few drinks or eat better-than-usual food can be an improvement. Obviously this assumes that you're in a place to do so, if not please ignore.
2. It's true that some people can achieve their wildest dreams and still be unhappy. In my experience, most people who are persistently unhappy have a combination of present issues with their brain chemistry and past adverse childhood experiences which feed into and influence each other. What options have you explored? Have you spoken to a doctor about potentially trying out the antidepressants available to you? Are you in a place and time where you can take a moment to examine your formative years and maybe tackle any unexamined beliefs you might have?

You seem to understand intellectually why we try to pursue lives with positive experiences and affirming interactions with others. Good! If you're having trouble actually feeling that internally, then that's where I'd start.

 

[rs929]

Feeling the same. Cant stand the idea of COOKING for like, 40 more years. It all feel like a drag, can't imagine doing it over and over and over.

 

[trying ungracefully]

Using the bathroom, showering, and brushing my teeth are something that are so hard to do everyday. Especially the bathroom with how many times a day. Idk how to make that stuff easier except for brushing my teeth in the shower so I think about it less.

 

[treecat]

I completely relate and understand this feeling. Especially what rs929 said about cooking.. omfg the endless cycle of dishes and having to eat. Food doesnt even bring me pleasure anymore - coming from a former binge eater

 

[Ilovemycats]

I experience the same thing- I sometimes feel irritated at how needy my body is, like I don't feel like standing up and getting food but I just have to feel hungry at the moment (￢_￢)

As for how people do it?- I suspect that they simply fall into a rythm and just do it without thinking..

 

[SmallPika]

No advice but I feel the same way. I came back to the forum today because I'm crying over taking my pills. And every single article and reddit post and everything is just tips on how to swallow them, or remember to take them, or minimize side effects. But that's not the issue. They're right there, and I can just take them. and there's no side effects. But the idea of just doing it is so overwhelming that it brought me back to the fucking suicide forum. Hugs.