Venting It's somewhat over

[Maki9]

Hello everbody using this thread as a way of coping since I literally don't have anyone else to talk to
I'm on a class trip rn and I'm so done with my only irl friend here
I love him and I don't even have a single reason to do so besides him being my company
I begin to hate every single little thing he does, every laughter makes me utterly mad.
I want to kiss his hand whilst being tempted to break his fingers
It's an insane friendship, it's stressing me out and I want to end it already.
It hurts because at the same time I've never had such an intimate and beautiful friendship with a person. Don't know what to do really
He won't tame responsibility for his actions, he plays victim all the time, doesn't care about anyone but himself. He doesn't even notice, too.
For me personally I only started getting help and taking therapy when I noticed my illness effecting other people. He doesn't give a fuck about how stressed out I am whenever he acts like a fucking child once again once again I don't know what to do. I' so lonely. Could've made it way more detailed but I'm so tired
Thanks for reading