tir
i push my fingers into my eyes (she)
- Dec 27, 2025
- 6
im tired.
ive made a promise to myself I would ctb around may, but I was such a coward. i was too happy. too whimsical. i fucking hate myself.
i really hate happiness. not even a joke, seeing myself happy feels like a punishment. the world keeps spinning and keeps on getting worse. if the world has really stayed the same for the last 100 years, does it really matter? it still sucks. People say to ignore the news, but the events are actively happening. im trans, and if i ever hear that my country decides that being trans is illegal then i would STILL know about it outside of news. what's the point of blocking the news ???
i enrolled in a new class where nobody knows me. im depressed beyond assertion. being lonely is a pressure academically. if you don't have friends or sufficient relationships, you will struggle to connect during tasks.
what the fuck am i doing? I don't put myself out there because of some sort of social judgment or anxiety. i don't feel like i enjoy life anymore.
nobody treats a trans girl who doesn't look like she transitioned and still retains a male physique the same with a girl who looks appealing.
im tired. of all this fucking pain. if I do get better the world will still fucking hurt me. it'll get worse. and worse. and worse.
i just want to ctb. why am I a fucking coward? most of my life has been spent wasted on my phone, games, and never my real life. can't even cook. im that fucking useless.
the class im in doesn't even know i have depression or even suicidal thoughts. I have scars on my body that I inflicted. showing them feels stigmatized so I hide them. but when i leave them in the open people think it isn't a problem.
please. i just want peace. im tired of being happy. I'm still a failure. I don't deserve this shit, this pain, this corrupt country.
im tired being a coward. i want to ctb. no other options exist.
ive made a promise to myself I would ctb around may, but I was such a coward. i was too happy. too whimsical. i fucking hate myself.
i really hate happiness. not even a joke, seeing myself happy feels like a punishment. the world keeps spinning and keeps on getting worse. if the world has really stayed the same for the last 100 years, does it really matter? it still sucks. People say to ignore the news, but the events are actively happening. im trans, and if i ever hear that my country decides that being trans is illegal then i would STILL know about it outside of news. what's the point of blocking the news ???
i enrolled in a new class where nobody knows me. im depressed beyond assertion. being lonely is a pressure academically. if you don't have friends or sufficient relationships, you will struggle to connect during tasks.
what the fuck am i doing? I don't put myself out there because of some sort of social judgment or anxiety. i don't feel like i enjoy life anymore.
nobody treats a trans girl who doesn't look like she transitioned and still retains a male physique the same with a girl who looks appealing.
im tired. of all this fucking pain. if I do get better the world will still fucking hurt me. it'll get worse. and worse. and worse.
i just want to ctb. why am I a fucking coward? most of my life has been spent wasted on my phone, games, and never my real life. can't even cook. im that fucking useless.
the class im in doesn't even know i have depression or even suicidal thoughts. I have scars on my body that I inflicted. showing them feels stigmatized so I hide them. but when i leave them in the open people think it isn't a problem.
please. i just want peace. im tired of being happy. I'm still a failure. I don't deserve this shit, this pain, this corrupt country.
im tired being a coward. i want to ctb. no other options exist.
