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burninghill

burninghill

Student
Dec 2, 2025
184
Gonna just do a total fucking recap as best as I can.

I'm 19, soon to be 20. I have been suicidal since I was 12. I have anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder. I have also had intrusive thoughts related to hurting myself and others since I was 12. I attempted suicide on July 25th 2025 and November 1st.

My birthday is the 23rd of April. On the 22nd, I will be having all of my friends over to spend the day with me.

I don't know how I feel about killing myself, I just hope I don't have to suffer through the embarrassment of backing out again.
This girl that I've been attracted to for half a decade just got with another guy and it's made me realise how badly I fucked up. I love her so much that it makes me want to stay, but she has somebody else now, she doesn't need me.

I'll be attempting suicide on the 25th of April via train decapitation, which is the same method I used for both of my prior attempts.

I don't even know what to say. I'm just really lonely and nothing feels fucking worth it anymore. All the art I make is passionless and empty and just for grades, I don't do anything with my life besides scroll on my phone and rot. I love the people around me, but I'm nobodies favourite (besides maybe my parents' and sisters). I'm tired of living this sad, unmotivated, lonely and degenerate life.
 
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Reactions: Kanau_Nano, Aflame5926, _wishforwings and 2 others
Aflame5926

Aflame5926

le tired
Apr 3, 2026
364
i wished you toke another method but i guess the rest is out of reach (personal opinion).
I love the people around me, but I'm nobodies favourite (besides maybe my parents' and sisters). I'm tired of living this sad, unmotivated, lonely and degenerate life.
do keep i mind the impact you will make again.

like always my 2 cent of a opinion and ill solve it in my arse.
But you still still want to go forward then have a good and safe journey. and hopefully you attain the rest you need and wanted.
 
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Reactions: Kanau_Nano

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