It's going to be this weekend

[Deleted member 19654]

The last message I received was
"Take care of yourself".

Is it a sign from the universe? Is the seller some sort of angel of mercy

 

[BipolarGuy]

Is it a sign from the universe? Is the seller some sort of angel of mercy

I've been considering using the end of my life as a protest.

Maybe I'll make a statement about the state of mental health services.
Perhaps a statement about how far society still has to go, despite the occasional motivational quote appearing on Facebook.
I've considered even making a post about how humanity is unlikely to survive the next extinction event because we're now more focused on administering our own bureaucracy than we are on making progress as a species.
In reality though, I think I'll just have a moan about the ridiculous number of adverts on YouTube videos.

 

[Drowning fish]

I've been considering using the end of my life as a protest.

Maybe I'll make a statement about the state of mental health services.
Perhaps a statement about how far society still has to go, despite the occasional motivational quote appearing on Facebook.
I've considered even making a post about how humanity is unlikely to survive the next extinction event because we're now more focused on administering our own bureaucracy than we are on making progress as a species.
In reality though, I think I'll just have a moan about the ridiculous number of adverts on YouTube videos.

Your sacrifice for YouTube ads will be remembered.

 

[NeverGoodEnuff]

BipolarGuy,

For months, I have read your posts. Thank you for making a difference in my life. I will not forget you.

 

[Dead beat dad]

It's definitely going to be this weekend coming. I've decided.

I'm at the end, guys. I have a few days left. I'm done.

I'm sad, frustrated and bitter that things have come to this and I'm anxious about what I'll feel and how it will play out.
But I'm also relieved. God this is finally going to be over and I'll have peace.

I'm sat here with tears in my eyes.

I know this seems like nothing more than words on a page, and after you've seen this sort of thing a few times perhaps you get used to it.
But my universe is coming to an end this weekend.

I cannot afford to pay for a funeral, so no need to do that.
The only thing I need a will for is to state formally that IF I do end up having some kind of funeral or burial service that I don't want my family there. My will was delivered today and I'll write it up tomorrow.
Tomorrow I'll also start to clean my place up.
I'll then have a day or two before the weekend arrives.

Weird to think that this time next week I'll no longer be here.


I will upload a goodbye thread when it comes, but I'm just tagging a few people that might be interested to know about this, as frankly I don't have the energy to send out individual PM's:

@TheQ22
@BitterlyAlive
@checkouttime
@Chupacabra 44
@Deafsn0w
@Drowning fish
@GoneGoneGone
@mahakali88
@Maxtothemax
@Mm80
@Passerby
@Raven Moon
@RoseyBird
@Underscore
@User Does Not Exist
@_Minsk
@Sinkinshyp

Brother I'm so sorry that it's come to this for you.
I honestly and sinceley hope that you can find the peace and light that you're looking for.
As the others have said you are not 'words on a page,' even in a world of internet anonymity there is love here for you. It echoes around this site and in the hearts of the users and I hope it resounds in your heart too.
Take this love brother and hold it, in the world of pain you're in I really hope that it will assuage some of the difficulties you may face.
I really wished the world could have been more loving to you and damn those people that have hurt you.
I hope you find your freedom brother.
Love and respect
DBD

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

I just cannot imagine coming here next week and not seeing your witty, intelligent posts. I will miss you, dear friend.

 

[BipolarGuy]

I just cannot imagine coming here next week and not seeing your witty, intelligent posts. I will miss you, dear friend.

Thank you.
I'll miss you too, and everyone else.

God I can't believe my life has come to this.
I'm sat here waiting for another massage, and it's surreal seeing everyone walk past.

 

[TheQ22]

I can't believe you're going. Have you picked out a place? You'd mentioned the woods but the weather not being ideal.

 

[Panna]

It'll be weird not seeing your posts around on the site, hopefully you get what you're looking for.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

Thank you.
I'll miss you too, and everyone else.

God I can't believe my life has come to this.
I'm sat here waiting for another massage, and it's surreal seeing everyone walk past.

It is okay to reconsider and give life another shot. I told you once that you have a lot of life and fight left in you, and I hope you will reconsider. You are loved and appreciated on this website, I just wish there was something more that I could do to help you and make you feel better.

 

[woxihuanni]

I hope that you have a peaceful passing if you go through. You are always welcome here if you decide to postpone.

 

[Cherrypea]

We'll always have the cheese.

 

[BipolarGuy]

I can't believe you're going. Have you picked out a place? You'd mentioned the woods but the weather not being ideal.

Yes I'm going to do it in a hotel.

 

[okaoki]

i wish you a smooth journey

 

[BipolarGuy]

It is okay to reconsider and give life another shot. I told you once that you have a lot of life and fight left in you, and I hope you will reconsider. You are loved and appreciated on this website, I just wish there was something more that I could do to help you and make you feel better.

Thank you very much.

Unfortunately I feel that my life has been heading towards this for a long time.
This will be my 3rd attempt.

But thanks for pointing out my options though.
Be careful...you might be accused of being an NHS spy

 

[DyingAlf]

Hey BPGuy, Are you going to listen to music as you go? If so, which music?

 

[BipolarGuy]

Hey BPGuy, Are you going to listen to music as you go? If so, which music?

I'm going to listen to Beethoven's 'Ode to Joy', widely considered as being THE greatest piece of music EVER composed.

When the time comes, I will invite those present to listen to it with me.
I'll start listening just after taking the SN, and presumably by the end I may have passed out.
I'll post a link at the time.

 

[DyingAlf]

I'm going to listen to Beethoven's 'Ode to Joy', widely considered as being THE greatest piece of music EVER composed.

When the time comes, I will invite those present to listen to it with me.
I'll start listening just after taking the SN, and presumably by the end I may have passed out.
I'll post a link at the time.

I will listen with you

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

I'm going to listen to Beethoven's 'Ode to Joy', widely considered as being THE greatest piece of music EVER composed.

When the time comes, I will invite those present to listen to it with me.
I'll start listening just after taking the SN, and presumably by the end I may have passed out.
I'll post a link at the time.

What is your plan regarding antiemetics, painkillers, benzos etc.? Are you planning to take any?

I will listen with you

So will I. I had plans for the weekend, but I'll cancel them to be here with you.

 

[BipolarGuy]

What is your plan regarding antiemetics, painkillers, benzos etc.? Are you planning to take any?

So will I. I had plans for the weekend, but I'll cancel them to be here with you.

I have prescription only medication available to me, which I've had for a while:

1. Metoclopramide, anti-sickness

2. Pregabalin, anti-anxiety

3. Codeine, pain medication


I may purchase anti-acid from supermarket too.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

I have prescription only medication available to me, which I've had for a while:

1. Metoclopramide, anti-sickness

2. Pregabalin, anti-anxiety

3. Codeine, pain medication


I may purchase anti-acid from supermarket too.

Yeah, now I remember you wrote you got some for food poisoning.

Care to send me some Meto?

 

[BipolarGuy]

Yeah, now I remember you wrote you got some for food poisoning.

Care to send me some Meto?

I'm not sure whether to take some of these medications as I read about possible long term side effects and I wouldn't want to do anything that might have a long term effect on my health.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

Thank you very much.

Unfortunately I feel that my life has been heading towards this for a long time.
This will be my 3rd attempt.

But thanks for pointing out my options though.
Be careful...you might be accused of being an NHS spy

Third time's a charm, so they say. If you change your mind, we're here for you. You can always come back.

 

[BipolarGuy]

Third time's a charm, so they say. If you change your mind, we're here for you. You can always come back.

Thank you :)

It's nice to know this.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

I'm not sure whether to take some of these medications as I read about possible long term side effects and I wouldn't want to do anything that might have a long term effect on my health.

Do you think there will be any local news reports about you when they find you? I don't know if there are news reports about suicides where you live.

 

[BipolarGuy]

Do you think there will be any local news reports about you when they find you?

I have no idea.
It's possible. The chief editor of a newspaper group has been following my case regarding problems accessing help from the NHS. After this weekend, he may find himself with a new story to publish.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

I have no idea.
It's possible. The chief editor of a newspaper group has been following my case regarding problems accessing help from the NHS. After this weekend, he may find himself with a new story to publish.

I suggest that you write about your problems accessing help and maybe send a delayed email to that editor.

Did you already book a room at a hotel? Is it a nice hotel?

(Sorry if I'm asking too many dumb questions)

 

[Sinkinshyp]

I just cannot imagine coming here next week and not seeing your witty, intelligent posts. I will miss you, dear friend.

I second that. You are loved my friend

 

[GoneGoneGone]

Thank you for announcing us. It is very painful, but I understand your pain. We'll be there for you when the time comes and of course, if you choose to change your mind.

 

[virginiawoolf86]

I'm going to listen to Beethoven's 'Ode to Joy', widely considered as being THE greatest piece of music EVER composed.

When the time comes, I will invite those present to listen to it with me.
I'll start listening just after taking the SN, and presumably by the end I may have passed out.
I'll post a link at the time.

If I'm still here, I will also listen with you.

I don't know you well, but I've seen enough of your posts to know that you're cared for and a good person.

I hope that when you finally reach the end that it's peaceful and comforting. May there be little suffering on your end.