My SI was just way too high with hanging and I tried choking myself to pass out and it hurt too much.
But having SN makes dying a real possibility now, and it's crazy.
I just keep thinking about how I will have to commit to it and drink the cup of SN. And I'll actually be dead dead.
Like it's real. It's not just escapism fantasy anymore, like how hanging was.
Just something I need to wrap my head around because I never actually had access to a CTB method I would actually do.
But having SN makes dying a real possibility now, and it's crazy.
I just keep thinking about how I will have to commit to it and drink the cup of SN. And I'll actually be dead dead.
Like it's real. It's not just escapism fantasy anymore, like how hanging was.
Just something I need to wrap my head around because I never actually had access to a CTB method I would actually do.
