sourcherry
Member
- Mar 3, 2026
- 52
hellooo its been almost 5 months since ive last posted. im working a respectable FT city job now in my field with a steady salary.
my days are more stable i go to the office, work, then go home. people at work are normal. they expect me to do my work which i do and thats it. i dont need to overextend myself or play social niceness. im out of the house more so i get interrogated less by my mom.
ive built up a pretty sizable savings account - im waiting to save more so i can wipe my leftover student debt in one go.
things are normal. the only one rocky thing was dumping my avoident partner but im already over it.
i should be fine. but somehow i still see an end date. i keep looking at the SN i have stashed away and i imagine myself going through the procedure over and over in my head.
i guess this is also normal for suicidal people. i dont really feel hope for the future or anything. i feel kind of resigned that this is all that will be.
my days are more stable i go to the office, work, then go home. people at work are normal. they expect me to do my work which i do and thats it. i dont need to overextend myself or play social niceness. im out of the house more so i get interrogated less by my mom.
ive built up a pretty sizable savings account - im waiting to save more so i can wipe my leftover student debt in one go.
things are normal. the only one rocky thing was dumping my avoident partner but im already over it.
i should be fine. but somehow i still see an end date. i keep looking at the SN i have stashed away and i imagine myself going through the procedure over and over in my head.
i guess this is also normal for suicidal people. i dont really feel hope for the future or anything. i feel kind of resigned that this is all that will be.
