am i valid?

[raikko]

hi ! 19 trans fem

im sorry if im typng odd because im drunk right now somewhat.. i dont drink a lot but im pretty light so i ge tdrunk easily i think!!

i can only seriously harm myself when i get drunk, as i've been trying to self harm for the longest time (since i was 16!!) But i could never get anywhere deep because i was too scared and when i got anywhere past cat scratches i'd hyperventilate and panic and stuff

now that i live by myself in college i can practice freely without hiding in the kitchen and i still dont think im serious at all. i cant get past cat scratches, and even then i can only sreiously cut myself under the influence of alcohol. normally i get itchy and it feels like its burning and i cant handleit but when im drunk it feels like nothing and i feel amazing hurting myself.


i feel horrible doing normal things and i can onl y feel good if i punish myself, since i cant.., cut,, i usually resort to fasting, but i also like eating a lot so i dont get very far.. so im not good at hurting myself at all, as much as i'd like to

i dont think i cna live to 20 but thats whta ive been telling myself for the past 5 years so nothing i think matters at all

i apologise for going on a tangent! id just like to ask, how do i go deeper, and should i worry about cutting on my wrist? i have a best friend who cuts and h er scars are very prominemt. im working in diplomacy with a government schoalrship and im also a un delegate sometimes, and my coutrny screens for psychological stuff so i dotn wanna be put into a blacklist for havigne wounds so if theres naywhere else i could cut ive would love it

IM REALLY SORRY FOR TAKING UP so much of yrour time im sorry!!

 

[hihi2027]

Hi, raikko

I don't think you should try to cut deeper. I've also tried self harming before but never really got that far. I could never cut deep enough for anyone to notice. I don't think you should start though! Imagine having to wear long sleeves all the time just to hide the scars. Thats what I has to do for a time and its not fun. Plus people will find out and youll have to go through the shame of coming up with excuses for your scars. its really terrible and i dont think you should go through with it. Im not judging you just trying to give some advice. Im sorry if what I said was not helpful or sounded judgement. I noticed that your thread didnt get attention so just know that someone sees and appreaciates your post :)

And for the record, you are valid

 

[ctb_warrior]

hi ! 19 trans fem

im sorry if im typng odd because im drunk right now somewhat.. i dont drink a lot but im pretty light so i ge tdrunk easily i think!!

i can only seriously harm myself when i get drunk, as i've been trying to self harm for the longest time (since i was 16!!) But i could never get anywhere deep because i was too scared and when i got anywhere past cat scratches i'd hyperventilate and panic and stuff

now that i live by myself in college i can practice freely without hiding in the kitchen and i still dont think im serious at all. i cant get past cat scratches, and even then i can only sreiously cut myself under the influence of alcohol. normally i get itchy and it feels like its burning and i cant handleit but when im drunk it feels like nothing and i feel amazing hurting myself.


i feel horrible doing normal things and i can onl y feel good if i punish myself, since i cant.., cut,, i usually resort to fasting, but i also like eating a lot so i dont get very far.. so im not good at hurting myself at all, as much as i'd like to

i dont think i cna live to 20 but thats whta ive been telling myself for the past 5 years so nothing i think matters at all

i apologise for going on a tangent! id just like to ask, how do i go deeper, and should i worry about cutting on my wrist? i have a best friend who cuts and h er scars are very prominemt. im working in diplomacy with a government schoalrship and im also a un delegate sometimes, and my coutrny screens for psychological stuff so i dotn wanna be put into a blacklist for havigne wounds so if theres naywhere else i could cut ive would love it

IM REALLY SORRY FOR TAKING UP so much of yrour time im sorry!!

Don't think too much for venting out openly. It takes courage to open up.
Don't make deep cuts as deep cuts would not help you ctb but only cause unnecessary medical issues. And they actually leave a scar.
So best to avoid it as much as you can