Venting it’s been a while, but i’m back to vent again

[K-β]

it feels as if my life is an endless monotony of nothingness. i have absolutely nothing to look forward in the coming several months. i hate how hollow it all feels. how no matter what i try i just can't bring myself to be happy. every day is just endless frustration & agony. i hate this body, i hate these people, i hate this town i live in, i hate these family, these fake friends who feign pity at my misery. & god if only i could just ctb. i want to so bad all the time. there's just no point in living. even if i make up things for myself: goals, aspirations, etc, ultimately none of it matters. i'll never achieve anything. i'm a useless husk of a human being who came into this world to suffer & then die. everybody who i've ever thought would care for me is going to leave me one day. i tell my girlfriend she's the love of my life & that i want to have a family with her & all these things because deep down i just want to beg her to stay with me & not move away, but i know she will. she'll leave me. i'll be stuck alone in this city a useless sack with nothing to do by cry & lament living. my life is on a downward spiral & i know it'll never get better.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand that it's dreadful suffering in this pointless existence you hate, I'm also always wishing to be gone. But anyway I wish you the best.