This is my first post and I'm a new user to the site. This is just a vent because I genuinely can't find any community that seems empathetic or willing to listen and I guess knowing someone reads this will be of solace to me :P
I'm transfemme and I've faced so much hate because of an online community I was in, that still won't leave me alone to this day. I've been doxxed, had the cops called, get sent videos of gore, called transphobic slurs and get told to end myself about twice a day or more, which doesn't help when I already have SI.
I just feel like I am surrounded by nothing but loneliness and it frustrates me greatly that past me withdrew from my IRL friendships because I figured 'if they wanna be around me they'll reach out first' and no one ever did. And then the same pattern happened with online friends too. I lost my group of real friends because I was depressed, so I isolated. Now I am just painfully lonely and feel like I'm only surrounded by hate and it really hurts. I can't figure out how to make any friends. I've tried, and tried, and have carried conversations through countless attempts at creating new relationships but it feels like no one ever wants to be around me in the end. All the relationships never lead to anything. I think I am the problem.
I. am. so. lonely.
Thanks for reading my vent I guess
I'm transfemme and I've faced so much hate because of an online community I was in, that still won't leave me alone to this day. I've been doxxed, had the cops called, get sent videos of gore, called transphobic slurs and get told to end myself about twice a day or more, which doesn't help when I already have SI.
I just feel like I am surrounded by nothing but loneliness and it frustrates me greatly that past me withdrew from my IRL friendships because I figured 'if they wanna be around me they'll reach out first' and no one ever did. And then the same pattern happened with online friends too. I lost my group of real friends because I was depressed, so I isolated. Now I am just painfully lonely and feel like I'm only surrounded by hate and it really hurts. I can't figure out how to make any friends. I've tried, and tried, and have carried conversations through countless attempts at creating new relationships but it feels like no one ever wants to be around me in the end. All the relationships never lead to anything. I think I am the problem.
I. am. so. lonely.
Thanks for reading my vent I guess
