Story Unhinged BPD stories?

[overusedusername]

I guess this post is mainly to vent about cutting myself again after so long. (I kinda forgot how good it can feel.) But I'm also curious about other people's BPD stories.

Today I was struggling and called my fp. He's super supportive and tries to help as best as he can, but eventually he said he needed to do some chores so he ended the call. I got so pissed at him that I cut myself (it's been like, idk maybe 8 years or something) and carved "FK U" on my leg lmao. I know this is unhealthy as hell. I am extremely aware.

This disorder is absolutely wild lol

 

[timf]

It seems a bit "over the top" for a reaction to a shortened phone call. There might be a danger in resurrecting a harmful activity.

 

[overusedusername]

It seems a bit "over the top" for a reaction to a shortened phone call. There might be a danger in resurrecting a harmful activity.

As I stated previously, I am extremely aware. Do you know much about BPD?

 

[timf]

Borderline personality disorder is a mental health condition that affects the way people feel about themselves and others, making it hard to function in everyday life. It includes a pattern of unstable, intense relationships, as well as impulsiveness and an unhealthy way of seeing themselves. Impulsiveness involves having extreme emotions and acting or doing things without thinking about them first.

After eight years of not cutting, it sounded like a huge step backwards. You sounded like it was amusing and made it sound like you were just along for the ride. It was my intention to encourage you to see the danger and try to exercise some control as you must have for the last eight years.

 

[overusedusername]

I guess it was less "haha so funny" and more "haha I'm terrible". I do think about these actions beforehand and still choose to do them anyways.

It's definitely hard to seee the full context in my initial paragraph alone. I wouldn't say I've exercised control over not cutting but that I've flip flopped coping skills. Used to cut, switched to drinking, back to cutting.

 

[fluorescentpearl]

I get you, Im not clean of cutting as it's my one only vice and cope, it also just makes me feel pretty, and I like expressing my feelings through it,

As for insane bpd stories.. You can read my entire diary thread, I think that sums it up

 

[csites]

I get that so much, Ive definetly been there before. I think the most insane and absurd thing that has ever spiraled from a small act of distancing from my then fp is that I managed to throw my phone into a river lmao, although withdrawing from antidepressants was also most likely a large part of that...
Hope the cutting doesnt get worse for you again!