SimpleLivingThing
Member
- May 30, 2025
- 14
It's been a minute since I've posted on here. I was feeling sort of okay for awhile (if not "okay" then at least stable/manageable), but as I'm increasingly forced to think about the future, I'm not sure what to do. I was looking through some of the resources again, particularly lostallhope, and there's something that I just can't get out of my head: receiving treatment for depression dramatically reduces the odds of a suicide attempt, but I've been trying to treat my depression for almost 9 years and I'm still dealing with it. I also see a lot of things that say "it gets better!" which is a nice sentiment, but not universally true; it can get better, sure, but saying that it will get better feels like confirmation bias. When sampling people who survive, it does get better, but there's automatically bias in the sample selection because it excludes people who completed ctb. Who's to say that there aren't circumstances in which it doesn't get better, and ctb actually is the best option? The world right now is bad in a way that is simultaneously completely novel and eerily familiar, and it's getting harder for me to ignore the fact that my environment no longer suits me. I know I'll probably get over myself soon, but I feel like if I don't say something to someone, I'll scream, and if I try to talk to anyone else, they'll try to stop me in ways that are unhelpful and uncomfortable.
