Discussion Is pain in kink just a socially acceptable form of self harm?

[Breelia]

I've wondered this a lot for a while. I'd never ask this question on fetlife because I'm pretty sure I'd get torn apart (I probably will here too)

It just seems to me that there doesn't seem to be much difference between sitting at home cutting to having someone else cane you until you bleed. I mean the physical and emotional response is the same...well from personal experience it is.

I'm curious about what other people think? There must be other masochists here!

*to clarify I think kink is great and not a negative thing at all.

 

[SnowyDreams]

Good question... I understand that kinks are not always inherently sexual, they could be unrelated to sexual activity/pleasure, so the kink could just be the end in itself. In my case I have no interest in sex but ever since I was 15 I liked cutting my skin, in the search of what I always called release. I like seeing the blood and feeling how the skin breaks. It's always been like this. Even know when I cut it's never as a punishment but as a relaxing thing. I also hit myself but that is a form of punishment and it's something I don't ever enjoy but feel a compulsion or urge to do it.

 

[Living_Ghost]

I think so yeah . I mean sticking your ass out for a sadist to cane it till it bleeds is not much fun unless you need the pain badly right?

 

[Breelia]

I think so yeah . I mean sticking your ass out for a sadist to cane it till it bleeds is not much fun unless you need the pain badly right?

It's similar to taking drugs, the pain creates a high.

 

[Living_Ghost]

It's similar to taking drugs, the pain creates a high.

Is there a lot of damaged women on that site being abused because its the only relationship they can get or feel like it makes them worth something ?
Now that would get me torn apart for sure on fetlife !

 

[Breelia]

Is there a lot of damaged women on that site being abused because its the only relationship they can get or feel like it makes them worth something ?
Now that would get me torn apart for sure on fetlife !

Probably.

 

[Dead_Inside]

I find that there is a bit of a difference for me.... both have to do with the pain, true but one can have a component of intimacy (not necessarily sexual) that is good too.
Strange, I know. Was always hoping I could just get murdered .... there is something about being the sole focus of other persons intentions and attention that I find desirable. Pain and attention and then I can be done with this life and its not even my fault - sounds perfect to me. But I may be a little sick : /

 

[Mrs.O'Leary'sCow]

I didn't even know kink was socially acceptable.

 

[TooLate2582]

I have this girl, she's a pain-slut but she doesn't self harm. She really gets off on it, whether I'm cutting her with a razor, pummeling her with a monkey fist or sap, putting her into all sorts of rope bondage or choking her until she passes out. Like others have said, it's a different mind-space. I think they can be different and the same, all depending on the needs of the recipient.

 

[Sidestep]

Probably depends on the person. Pain can be euphoric as others have already mentioned so it can add to or even supplant the sexual experience. There's also the mental component where people enjoy the exhilaration that fear brings and some people like the aspect of not being in control. Most masochists tend not to enjoy those things outside of that context where the intent of pain is for pleasure. On the other hand it can certainly be used as a medium for self harm just as having lots of unprotected sex because you knowingly don't care about the consequences to yourself (and aren't just stupid) can count as self harm. Or how not looking before crossing a road with the hope you'll be hit can count as self harm. You know, things that may not be obvious as cutting for self harm. I'm sure there are some people (me lul) who submit themselves to sadists as a way of inflicting punishment or self hate onto themselves.

But I think that unless someone exhibits other symptoms related to self harm like self hate, depression, etc. outside of the bedroom then it's more likely that they are doing it solely for the pleasure of it. I just remember that when I was a kid and messed around with candle wax for masochistic purposes I felt good after doing it. When I've cut myself because I'm a psychological fuck up it's really a mess of things I feel but overall I just feel worse or detached after it.

 

[Breelia]

Haha I feel good after cutting the same way I do after a good cane session.

But the high brings an even bigger low after (sub drop) I can't stand the drop anymore it just takes away my ability to function.