Is life worth living if you can't live the life you want?

[hopemelodies]

I personally think it's not as much as your life conditions as it is about your perspective. I've known people who had nothing but still loved life, maybe because they appreciated the simplicity of it and were able to nurture gratitude even in horrible conditions. I'm not saying people who can't do this should, for some the pain is just too much and sometimes people have good life conditions but still feel a great deal of pain. The other way goes for people who don't live ideals lives and they know it but still, they find ways to enjoy it. There's people who don't have anything but feel complete and there's people who have everything but feel empty. I often remind myself of this when I wonder why I can't just be grateful. I don't think settling is the answer because the pain is sometimes deeper, I often think about how my pain is not just about my traumas but was always in me. Because I'm sensitive I'm not made to live in a society like ours, I could have everything but I would still be in pain.

 

[destinationlosangel]

I don't know whether they are just pretending it's ok, so pretending to be ok with settling for their lot or if they genuinely are ok with their lot. I don't imagine they could be comfortable if they are just pretending to be.

I think a lot of it is where we put our priorities/ sense of self worth. So- as an example, I worked a lot of gruelling years in retail. At work, there were people there who detested that job (me included.) But, there were others who didn't appear to mind it and some that were actually happy to be there. It's all the same job but as people, we were different.

The ones who detested it, did so because they wanted to be elsewhere. Mostly, it was the younger people and most of us wanted a career that wasn't retail. If your identity is wrapped up in achieving a career ambition and you see doing a wage slave job as failing that- it's likely going to be upsetting.

The people that didn't mind it so much seemed to either be older: They'd had their careers. They were maybe doing part time hours for a bit of extra cash but that job didn't signify failure to them. Or otherwise, people had priorities in other areas of life- their families, saving up for travel or education. Or, they just didn't seem to have ambitions in life and they seemed fine getting by as best they could.

Of course, overall people still hated it because it's retail and both management and customers treat you like shit but the level of unhappiness seemed to vary according to how we viewed the job I think.

I'm not so sure you can change your priorities in life. I guess you can. You can use logic in a way to do it. Again, I've kind of done it myself. I've realised that my ultimate career aspirations (if I were good enough to achieve them) would see me travelling all over the country and very likely working 16 hour days. That I realised likely would become unpleasant very rapidly! So- that made me more content staying where I am. Plus, I've done jobs that- on paper were a step up for me but in reality- they made me miserable. So, I think you can change your priorities in life but, it needs to make sense to you why you are changing them.

I came to similar conclusions about love and relationships. As in- 'Quit longing for some fantasy of love that very likely only exists in fiction. The real thing is likely nothing like that- or maybe is for just a fraction of the time and the rest of the time, you'll very possibly be regretting it and they very possibly will be too!' Things are much easier to accept when it's in part, your own reasoned choice. But I guess that's the catch- the choice has to feel reasoned out.

This is exactly how i feel!

 

[sanction]

I'm struggling with this all the time too. The answer is its not worth it. But because CTB is so difficult, many people (including myself) have no choice but to trick our minds to find some fake meaning, in order to continue on. Thats why behind the scenes so many people are either on antidepressants or seeking therapy

Just stuck to have to cope with this shitty and meaningless reality of life

 

[tbroken]

Imo in life you should stop daydreaming as soon as you can and focus on survival. Experience taught me that things are worst than they seem.
Especially poor and even middle-class people are constantly manipulated.

 

[lnlybnny]

Imo in life you should stop daydreaming as soon as you can and focus on survival. Experience taught me that things are worst than they seem.
Especially poor and even middle-class people are constantly manipulated.

I daydream more than anything in this life, I get drained just by thinking of "focusing on survival ". See, there's no point for me in being here, I'm a joke to the world

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I will not settle for this mediocre existence while I see people living perfect lives with their perfect genetics and their perfect friends meanwhile I was scrutinized and made to feel small by my family members for years as a child, that was all it took to make me into the neurotic mess I am now.

I've been a good student all my life as well, but the real world is nothing like school or college. I think that academia doesn't prepare you for it at all. There's so much socializing involved, all of life is about social interaction. I wasn't prepared for life after college because honestly I thought that I would ctb before graduating. I didn't even have a plan for my post-college life. I just couldn't imagine myself in the workforce or real world.

The thing is, I cant even handle college now. I was good at school in high school but its so much more difficult for me now. If I cant even handle college, theres no way I can have a proper grip on the real adult world

 

[tbroken]

I will not settle for this mediocre existence while I see people living perfect lives with their perfect genetics and their perfect friends meanwhile I was scrutinized and made to feel small by my family members for years as a child, that was all it took to make me into the neurotic mess I am now.

You can change. It happened the same for me, with family and friends, just think it was not your fault.
Other people got problems too, some just fake it better or just catch all opportunities.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

You can change. It happened the same for me, with family and friends, just think it was not your fault.
Other people got problems too, some just fake it better or just catch all opportunities.

I still do not want the life I have.

 

[ihavenothingleft]

Is it progressive? Does it get worse with time?

Its just the depression

 

[Z-A]

I want to CTB because I can't live the life how I wanted so in my opinion it's meaningless to live a life just accepting whatever you get. You're just existing and suffer from it. Life should be lived willingly, I think it's obvious.

 

[Dark Window]

If the worst that's happening in your life is that you cannot have/cannot have yet/do not have what you want, then your life probably isn't that bad.

Your life is ctb worthy if you are suffering with mental/physical issues that make your life a misery and there's nothing much you can do about it.

If it's not that and you're not necessarily mentally/physically ill, so there's nothing really wrong with you, it's just you don't like your life situation, then explore life a bit more and find new things.

Life is an opportunity, and unless you're one of the unlucky ones that has something internally wrong with them that is unlikely to be fixed, so regardless of what you find, it wont stop the pain, then it's best to stick around and try to make things better.

The main reason I'm considering CTB is because of my mental health not improving despite my best efforts so far.