Is life worth living if you can't live the life you want?

[Ambivalent1]

Is accepting one's reality and adjusting one's expectations enough to still live a worthwhile life?

For instance, being a Russian peasant from a Russian novel was probably pretty miserable, but if you accept your reality and adjust your expectations, is the life your left with such absolute trash that it needs to be discarded? I don't know.

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

No seriously, what is the point of living if you have to make do with what you can? Why would you do that? I mean I guess some people do for their loved ones but even then... I just don't agree.

 

[destinationlosangel]

Nope. it is hard to settle for mediocrity if ur a hard worker n have potential. it is important to be realistic tho. this is the main reason i want to ctb

 

[Endofit]

It's a constant questionning for me, and I always end up to aknowleging that it isnt worth the pain to live the life you don't want to live. Then there is the limbo between...

 

[Ambivalent1]

No seriously, what is the point of living if you have to make do with what you can? Why would you do that? I mean I guess some people do for their loved ones but even then... I just don't agree.

Maybe some people like sunsets or painting despite their severe arthritis or whatever problem they have? Should they accelerate their entrance into the void and lose their simple joys forever?

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't know whether they are just pretending it's ok, so pretending to be ok with settling for their lot or if they genuinely are ok with their lot. I don't imagine they could be comfortable if they are just pretending to be.

I think a lot of it is where we put our priorities/ sense of self worth. So- as an example, I worked a lot of gruelling years in retail. At work, there were people there who detested that job (me included.) But, there were others who didn't appear to mind it and some that were actually happy to be there. It's all the same job but as people, we were different.

The ones who detested it, did so because they wanted to be elsewhere. Mostly, it was the younger people and most of us wanted a career that wasn't retail. If your identity is wrapped up in achieving a career ambition and you see doing a wage slave job as failing that- it's likely going to be upsetting.

The people that didn't mind it so much seemed to either be older: They'd had their careers. They were maybe doing part time hours for a bit of extra cash but that job didn't signify failure to them. Or otherwise, people had priorities in other areas of life- their families, saving up for travel or education. Or, they just didn't seem to have ambitions in life and they seemed fine getting by as best they could.

Of course, overall people still hated it because it's retail and both management and customers treat you like shit but the level of unhappiness seemed to vary according to how we viewed the job I think.

I'm not so sure you can change your priorities in life. I guess you can. You can use logic in a way to do it. Again, I've kind of done it myself. I've realised that my ultimate career aspirations (if I were good enough to achieve them) would see me travelling all over the country and very likely working 16 hour days. That I realised likely would become unpleasant very rapidly! So- that made me more content staying where I am. Plus, I've done jobs that- on paper were a step up for me but in reality- they made me miserable. So, I think you can change your priorities in life but, it needs to make sense to you why you are changing them.

I came to similar conclusions about love and relationships. As in- 'Quit longing for some fantasy of love that very likely only exists in fiction. The real thing is likely nothing like that- or maybe is for just a fraction of the time and the rest of the time, you'll very possibly be regretting it and they very possibly will be too!' Things are much easier to accept when it's in part, your own reasoned choice. But I guess that's the catch- the choice has to feel reasoned out.

 

[sserafim]

Don't settle for less than you deserve

 

[DazaiKinnie]

To me, it isn't. We were thrown here without any say in the matter, at least let us live the life that we want, or allow us to exit.

 

[existtoexit]

I'm starting to question this myself. I've been out from college for 2 weeks now for being sick but I've actually been so depressed I refuse to move or seek help. I wish I would just get moving or going already but my body refuses.

 

[ihavenothingleft]

Nope. it is hard to settle for mediocrity if ur a hard worker n have potential. it is important to be realistic tho. this is the main reason i want to ctb

Hah same. I have been dyslexic and stupid my entire life. I cant have the job of my dreams because of this and because now I have schizophrenia too. I really wish I was dead everyday because I'll end up working shitty minimum wage jobs. I was bullied all my life. I have had enough of people's abuse I want an end finally

 

[sserafim]

Nope. it is hard to settle for mediocrity if ur a hard worker n have potential. it is important to be realistic tho. this is the main reason i want to ctb

Same. I've been in a state of autistic burnout because I failed to launch into the workforce after college. I was always a hard worker (at my studies), and I think I have potential. However, I'm just ill-suited for the real world. I have ASD and it's the main thing holding me back from reaching my true potential. I've become a NEET/hiki who stays at home all day. I'm sure that if I didn't have ASD, I would be successful. Instead, I'm limited from reaching my full potential due to this disorder. I will never reach my final form. Anyways, I don't want anything out of life, so I will ctb soon.

 

[destinationlosangel]

Same. I've been in a state of autistic burnout because I failed to launch into the workforce after college. I was always a hard worker (at my studies). I was diligent and studious, but ill-suited for the real world. I have ASD and it's the main thing holding me back from reaching my true potential. I've become a NEET/hiki who stays at home all day. I'm sure that if I didn't have ASD, I would be successful. Instead, I'm limited from reaching my full potential due to this disorder. Anyways, I don't want anything out of life, so I will ctb soon.

U just read my mind. Cuz all my life, i've been a good student. Its just that I cant really bear the thought of living below my potential, just barely existing. It feels like death would be better than living a life like that. Same here. NEET life lol. I did expect to get out of the NEET cave but life didnt really turn out that way. Im still not completely hopeless but death feels honorable you know

 

[sserafim]

U just read my mind. Cuz all my life, i've been a good student. Its just that I cant really bear the thought of living below my potential, just barely existing. It feels like death would be better than living a life like that. Same here. NEET life lol. I did expect to get out of the NEET cave but life didnt really turn out that way. Im still not completely hopeless but death feels honorable you know

I've been a good student all my life as well, but the real world is nothing like school or college. I think that academia doesn't prepare you for it at all. There's so much socializing involved, all of life is about social interaction. I wasn't prepared for life after college because honestly I thought that I would ctb before graduating. I didn't even have a plan for my post-college life. I just couldn't imagine myself in the workforce or real world.

 

[destinationlosangel]

I've been a good student all my life as well, but the real world is nothing like school or college. I think that academia doesn't prepare you at all for it. There's so much socializing involved, all of life is about social interaction. I wasn't prepared for life after college because honestly I thought that I would ctb before graduating. I didn't even have a plan for my post-college life. I just couldn't imagine myself in the workforce or real world.

The real world is hard to navigate and many who do well dont do well because of academic success but more because they get adept at a lot of the scheming and psychological game playing in the corporate environments they find themselves in. And i honestly hate that

 

[flowerdecay]

I don't think anyone really has the life they want

 

[Coffeandamug]

I have been asking myself the same question for a very long time now and I coudn't come up with an answer.

 

[CouldaHvBeenARock]

I asked myself this as my illnesses slowly disabled me and the life I was able to carve out vanished before my eyes.
And my answer was simple, Why Should I Settle?!

There are those who simply lucked into the life I fought tooth and and nail
So why should I settle?!
There are those who settle for the lives they can afford, which I did once
So why should I settle, again?!

 

[mtoro998]

Nope what is the point of working so hard just to afford a crappy apartment and food but nothing else you want.

I don't think anyone really has the life they want

Except the billionaires and people who exploit us.

 

[theboy]

life is meaningless to live no matter how dark it may sound.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Hah same. I have been dyslexic and stupid my entire life. I cant have the job of my dreams because of this and because now I have schizophrenia too. I really wish I was dead everyday because I'll end up working shitty minimum wage jobs. I was bullied all my life. I have had enough of people's abuse I want an end finally

When did you get diagnosed with schizophrenia?

life is meaningless to live no matter how dark it may sound.

I'm reading Ecclesiastes. It's all nihilism until the ending which says "Serving God is the purpose of one's life." I don't think there is a God, at least not the God of the bible, so if the message of meaninglessness spoken of in Ecclesiastes is true, then all of this is a waste of time. You could sit in a chair until you develop a blood clot and die and it would be no different from a "full life."

 

[PetrichorBirth]

Is accepting one's reality and adjusting one's expectations enough to still live a worthwhile life?

For instance, being a Russian peasant from a Russian novel was probably pretty miserable, but if you accept your reality and adjust your expectations, is the life your left with such absolute trash that it needs to be discarded? I don't know.

I think that a lot of your perception of reality and your expectations are shaped by the past that you grew up in. Whatever you were taught and shown by your environment will determine what a worthwhile life is to you.

Being a russian peasant from a Russian novel might be miserable if you see it from your modern technological lens, but if you truly were this peasant? You were born in these conditions, you were used to these conditions, this is your life. You took care of animals, took care of crops, you had your routine and meaning in life. You hung out with your neighbors, played folk songs and danced. Your parents and grandparents lived this life, they taught you things about this life. If such a peasant was transported into this modern life, i believe they'd be in a gigantic crisis of meaning, not fit in anywhere, and probably kill themselves :0

Now take a typical user of sanctioned-suicide. Most likely they are plagued by intense meaninglessness, coupled with traumatic experiences that they didn't have the correct social support structures for/that they can't have control over and will plague them whatever they do. What are these people taking care of? They don't see any crops grow, they don't derive pleasure out of taking care of animals (or maybe they do in the case of pets, but of course on a smaller scale than a peasant that takes care of cows, chickens, etc.), they are often lonely. One of the most important components of dignified human life is missing.

If you never had an impression of what a worthwile life could feel like, the only logical choice seems to be suicide for some people. Because what would accepting reality in such a case do? You accept a sad state of being, but what are you dreaming about? Are you taking care of anything besides preparing for suicide? The loss of purpose and meaning is the biggest threat to our will to live it seems like.

 

[sserafim]

When did you get diagnosed with schizophrenia?

I'm reading Ecclesiastes. It's all nihilism until the ending which says "Serving God is the purpose of one's life." I don't think there is a God, at least not the God of the bible, so if the message of meaninglessness spoken of in Ecclesiastes is true, then all of this is a waste of time. You could sit in a chair until you develop a blood clot and die and it would be no different from a "full life."

*Serving capitalism is the purpose of one's life. Your purpose is to be a slave to the system, as cynical as it sounds.

 

[Ambivalent1]

I think that a lot of your perception of reality and your expectations are shaped by the past that you grew up in. Whatever you were taught and shown by your environment will determine what a worthwhile life is to you.

Being a russian peasant from a Russian novel might be miserable if you see it from your modern technological lens, but if you truly were this peasant? You were born in these conditions, you were used to these conditions, this is your life. You took care of animals, took care of crops, you had your routine and meaning in life. You hung out with your neighbors, played folk songs and danced. Your parents and grandparents lived this life, they taught you things about this life. If such a peasant was transported into this modern life, i believe they'd be in a gigantic crisis of meaning, not fit in anywhere, and probably kill themselves :0

Now take a typical user of sanctioned-suicide. Most likely they are plagued by intense meaninglessness, coupled with traumatic experiences that they didn't have the correct social support structures for/that they can't have control over and will plague them whatever they do. What are these people taking care of? They don't see any crops grow, they don't derive pleasure out of taking care of animals (or maybe they do in the case of pets, but of course on a smaller scale than a peasant that takes care of cows, chickens, etc.), they are often lonely. One of the most important components of dignified human life is missing.

If you never had an impression of what a worthwile life could feel like, the only logical choice seems to be suicide for some people. Because what would accepting reality in such a case do? You accept a sad state of being, but what are you dreaming about? Are you taking care of anything besides preparing for suicide? The loss of purpose and meaning is the biggest threat to our will to live it seems like.

Why is religion (an institution based on unfounded claims) the main source of meaning and happiness for many people and throughout history too? Our species seems to have been able to make it this far mostly due to the devotion to a fantasy. This is beyond sick and disturbing.

 

[sserafim]

Why is religion (an institution based on unfounded claims) the main source of meaning and happiness for many people and throughout history too? Our species seems to have been able to make it this far mostly due to the devotion to a fantasy. This is beyond sick and disturbing.

Religion is a tool to control people. They brainwash the masses by making them happy so they continue on in their meaningless life. Religion is the opium of the masses.

 

[Ambivalent1]

*Serving capitalism is the purpose of one's life. Your purpose is to be a slave to the system, as cynical as it sounds. Btw check chat

What about the systems of long ago that weren't capitalism? I'm about to log off. I'll check chat later.

 

[sserafim]

What about the systems of long ago that weren't capitalism? I'm about to log off. I'll check chat later.

The purpose was still to serve the system. The systems of long ago were still society. It was feudal and other kinds. Everyone's purpose was to be in their place in the hierarchy and a slave to the system.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Try to convince myself that my 4.5 shitty decades of life on this shitty planet isn't all that bad - or just end it all, have no worries whatsoever and freely sleep in peace for eternity. Hmm...that's a tough one.

 

[PetrichorBirth]

Why is religion (an institution based on unfounded claims) the main source of meaning and happiness for many people and throughout history too? Our species seems to have been able to make it this far mostly due to the devotion to a fantasy. This is beyond sick and disturbing.

Let's start at the very beginning : Early humans that lived completely in nature. They see things happening around them. It can rain, it can freeze, things can burn. Sometimes there are sweet berries growing, feels good. They observe animals and hunt them for food. It would be very sweet to have some kind of connection to these things, because it's probably good to be kind to 'em if you want more of them. But these phenomena, they don't talk. So you pray, you do rituals with the people in your tribe, hoping that your feelings, your attempts at contact, will be accepted. It's a cool feeling, because at the same time you're doing something that makes you feel connected to the people around you! It also gives structure. In the end, that contributes a lot to the meaning that we feel. After all it's a very intimate moment, praying together.

Now fast forward a bit, and you get big human communities, that are connected by the belief in these rituals. Fast forward even more, and you get millions of people that never talked to eachother. So, to foster some kind of connection, these big institutions arise.

Don't forget that in the meantime there are many politics and different belief systems at play, so you actually get variations of religions, all with different thoughts on how to connect to what's outside of our human perception.

And now fast forward to today, and globalization has given the rise to a very strange situation : Every kind of person with every kind of belief can interact with one another. Unless you stay strictly in echochambers, you are exposed to so many different belief systems, that it all becomes a meaningless mush of nothing, where everyone wants to convince you of something, and everyone believes to be right. The problem is that it takes a lifetime of exposure, from the beginning, to have a well founded belief and community. The internet is not the place for that. Witnessing this situation is very disturbing indeed.

 

[ihavenothingleft]

When did you get diagnosed with schizophrenia?

I'm reading Ecclesiastes. It's all nihilism until the ending which says "Serving God is the purpose of one's life." I don't think there is a God, at least not the God of the bible, so if the message of meaninglessness spoken of in Ecclesiastes is true, then all of this is a waste of time. You could sit in a chair until you develop a blood clot and die and it would be no different from a "full life."

I got diagnosed at 17

 

[Ambivalent1]

I got diagnosed at 17

Is it progressive? Does it get worse with time?