Is it true that uncertainty is more scary than certainty?

[noname223]

I don't necessarily agree with that.
I think I post it here because I will talk a lot about my anxiety and my relation to suicide.

I am a very anxious person. I ruminate a lot. A lot of horrible things happened in my life. I often thought it could not get worse. But I was astonsished how tormenting life can become. I never had a good life. But I had no idea what would happen when I was a teenager.

So I think many here are scared about this experience how torturous life really can be. I am scared that there is no limit of pain. I can remember when I as in extreme pain (psychosomatic pain) and then I had a minor surgical procedure. These idiots did not give me painkillers. Fucking bastards. Not sure why. I think they were not sure whether my mental health medication combined with it could give a damaging effect. I am not 100% sure whether it was like that.
But I despise the people who did not intervene to give me painkillers. They must have known about the excruciating pain.
I later used pain killers without any problems despite of my mental health medication. Such fucking assholes who don't care about their patients.

I can remember the time after this surgical procedure. It was the worst time of my life so far. I cried the whole night for many many hours. I wandered in my apartment because i was in exteme insane pain. If I had the option to kill myself that night I think SI would have been a joke to me. These days shaped me a lot. Due to the fact I have witnessed how insane the painlevel can be. I just noticed this is not 100% the topic. I wanted to tell that story to demonstrate that I am very anxious about the fact that the pain can be limitless.

Some people say uncertainty would be worse than certainty. For me personally this is not really true. I think I have somewhat of certainty that I will have to kill myself in the future. I still try to avoid as good as possible but the odds are pretty much against it. I try to prepare myself for it. Though at the same time I think it is important not to become fatalistic about it. Otherwise this could end in a self-fulfilling prophecy. I mean by that even if I think I don't really have a high chance to prevent my suicide I try by any means to prevent it anyway. Maybe I am biased or in a thinking fallacy. Maybe I am too pessimistic without realizing it. It is a fight against the odds. At it can be quite frustrating. I had a little bit of success due to this approach and reached some things I did not expect. Though I need some miracles to prevent the worst.

I think certainty is not comforting for me. It is rather extreme desperation for me. In this instance I rather prefer uncertainty and cling to my wish for a miracle. Though on the other hand uncertainty is also scary when I consider that I know how much pain a sentient being can be exposed to.

A post here made me think. In some sense uncertainty can be comforting.
Due to the fact future is uncertain there can be positive unexpected surprises for us. Even a little bit of tiny hope can help me to cope better with my agony.

What is your opinion on that?

 

[akirat9]

未来について唯一頼りになるのは、不確実性です。
サラマンダー
The only dependable thing about the future is uncertainty.

 

[FuneralCry]

Maybe this question depends on the individual and their experiences of life. They both scare me, in general life scares me. The thing that is certain in life is suffering but the uncertainty is to what extent I will suffer in the future, there is no limit as to how horrible life can get. All of this is a reason as to why I want to be gone, if one ceases to exist there is no worries or concerns as to die removes the true cause of all problems in the first place which is life itself. The thought of eternal nothingness will always bring me a lot of comfort.

 

[lionetta12]

I don't necessarily agree with that.
I think I post it here because I will talk a lot about my anxiety and my relation to suicide.

I am a very anxious person. I ruminate a lot. A lot of horrible things happened in my life. I often thought it could not get worse. But I was astonsished how tormenting life can become. I never had a good life. But I had no idea what would happen when I was a teenager.

So I think many here are scared about this experience how torturous life really can be. I am scared that there is no limit of pain. I can remember when I as in extreme pain (psychosomatic pain) and then I had a minor surgical procedure. These idiots did not give me painkillers. Fucking bastards. Not sure why. I think they were not sure whether my mental health medication combined with it could give a damaging effect. I am not 100% sure whether it was like that.
But I despise the people who did not intervene to give me painkillers. They must have known about the excruciating pain.
I later used pain killers without any problems despite of my mental health medication. Such fucking assholes who don't care about their patients.

I can remember the time after this surgical procedure. It was the worst time of my life so far. I cried the whole night for many many hours. I wandered in my apartment because i was in exteme insane pain. If I had the option to kill myself that night I think SI would have been a joke to me. These days shaped me a lot. Due to the fact I have witnessed how insane the painlevel can be. I just noticed this is not 100% the topic. I wanted to tell that story to demonstrate that I am very anxious about the fact that the pain can be limitless.

Some people say uncertainty would be worse than certainty. For me personally this is not really true. I think I have somewhat of certainty that I will have to kill myself in the future. I still try to avoid as good as possible but the odds are pretty much against it. I try to prepare myself for it. Though at the same time I think it is important not to become fatalistic about it. Otherwise this could end in a self-fulfilling prophecy. I mean by that even if I think I don't really have a high chance to prevent my suicide I try by any means to prevent it anyway. Maybe I am biased or in a thinking fallacy. Maybe I am too pessimistic without realizing it. It is a fight against the odds. At it can be quite frustrating. I had a little bit of success due to this approach and reached some things I did not expect. Though I need some miracles to prevent the worst.

I think certainty is not comforting for me. It is rather extreme desperation for me. In this instance I rather prefer uncertainty and cling to my wish for a miracle. Though on the other hand uncertainty is also scary when I consider that I know how much pain a sentient being can be exposed to.

A post here made me think. In some sense uncertainty can be comforting.
Due to the fact future is uncertain there can be positive unexpected surprises for us. Even a little bit of tiny hope can help me to cope better with my agony.

What is your opinion on that?

Uncertainty and unplanned things freak me out, gives me an insufferable amount of anxiety and I cannot deal with it. It has been one of the major issues with most of my romantic relationships, apart from the abuse they put me through, the fact that all of them were unprodictable people that gave me a lot of uncertainty because they didn't follow routines or plan anything, pretty much choked me and made me feel like I cannot live many times.