Is it morally okay to write a note to a friend I haven’t spoken with in months?

[ts0hill]

One of my best friends and I kinda fell out of touch because of my depression. I told him that is why I been so bad at replying. It's been 6 months since we've talked. I want to write him a note but I'm hesitant because i don't know if it's ok todo since we haven't talked in so long and I don't want him to feel guilty for the rest of his life for not reaching out or something. On the other hand I really want to write to him. Any suggestions? I don't even know if he will know i died

 

[almaranthine]

If I had a friend like this (currently don't have any friends) I think I would try to reach out before I attempted and have a nice conversation with them and just try to wish them the best in a way that isn't suspicious. If you haven't spoken in that long and send a suicide note, I would imagine they would feel guilty no matter what you expressed in the letter. I'm sorry you haven't been able to talk with your friend because of your depression despite wanting to. I hope you are able to do what is best for you. Wishing you peace.

 

[jodes2]

Why not write to him? More contact is better I'd say

 

[LaVieEnRose]

It will be your final communication to him. In light of that, I don't think the silence between you two matters. But do you think it'd be worth reaching out to him while you're alive?

 

[ts0hill]

If I had a friend like this (currently don't have any friends) I think I would try to reach out before I attempted and have a nice conversation with them and just try to wish them the best in a way that isn't suspicious. If you haven't spoken in that long and send a suicide note, I would imagine they would feel guilty no matter what you expressed in the letter. I'm sorry you haven't been able to talk with your friend because of your depression despite wanting to. I hope you are able to do what is best for you. Wishing you peace.

I guess I'm not sure what to say since I'm planning on attempting this week and sometimes he doesn't reply for a few days when I haven't replied in a long time. I don't really want to drag the process out. I guess I could just write to him normally but I don't really want to respond and be like sorry i was gone and then disappear again. Maybe he would have a feeling since I'll delete all my social

Sorry to hear since it sounds like you have drifted away from friends also

 

[makethepainstop]

One of my best friends and I kinda fell out of touch because of my depression. I told him that is why I been so bad at replying. It's been 6 months since we've talked. I want to write him a note but I'm hesitant because i don't know if it's ok todo since we haven't talked in so long and I don't want him to feel guilty for the rest of his life for not reaching out or something. On the other hand I really want to write to him. Any suggestions? I don't even know if he will know i died

Being out of touch with you for that long, I wonder if this is a friend or just an acquaintance? Secondly friends look out for each other, so why isn't he in touch, if he is so caring?

 

[universe]

I'm sorry for you, depression and suicidal thoughts destroy us and sometimes it's hard not to walk away from friends. It is difficult to maintain a normal, happy and healthy relationship when you are deeply destroyed. I plan to try CTB soon, and I feel the need to get away from my surroundings, I don't plan to contact my former best friend again.
I'm not sure what to advise you, I imagine it's a particularly difficult situation. We need friendship because we remain human, and guilt because we know we will soon be gone. And also the question "should we say our last goodbyes to such and such a person"?
Good luck to you.

 

[ts0hill]

Being out of touch with you for that long, I wonder if this is a friend or just an acquaintance? Secondly friends look out for each other, so why isn't he in touch, if he is so caring?

It was me that fell out of touch not him. He doesn't know my depression is as bad as it is

 

[makethepainstop]

It was me that fell out of touch not him. He doesn't know my depression is as bad as it is

Maybe you should talk with him and see if he is there for you.y

 

[almaranthine]

I guess I'm not sure what to say since I'm planning on attempting this week and sometimes he doesn't reply for a few days when I haven't replied in a long time. I don't really want to drag the process out. I guess I could just write to him normally but I don't really want to respond and be like sorry i was gone and then disappear again. Maybe he would have a feeling since I'll delete all my social

Sorry to hear since it sounds like you have drifted away from friends also

Ah, no worries. If I had a choice in the matter I would have stayed in touch with some but... people just tend to move on and leave me behind and I'm not one to bother and burden anyone that doesn't want to deal with me anymore so I just let it go. The last friend I had was great, but after she became pregnant and had her baby I never really heard from her again. I realize that I'm not really an asset to anyone's life. Most people at my age don't have room in their live's left for new friendships of any real depth and I've just come to accept that I don't have much of a chance nowadays to meet anyone that's going to actually care.

I see your dilemma now considering the texting history. I don't think there's anything morally wrong with sending your friend a heartfelt letter thanking them for being in your life and whatnot. I think that would be much better than never hearing from you again and having no clue what happened to you.

 

[ts0hill]

Ah, no worries. If I had a choice in the matter I would have stayed in touch with some but... people just tend to move on and leave me behind and I'm not one to bother and burden anyone that doesn't want to deal with me anymore so I just let it go. The last friend I had was great, but after she became pregnant and had her baby I never really heard from her again. I realize that I'm not really an asset to anyone's life. Most people at my age don't have room in their live's left for new friendships of any real depth and I've just come to accept that I don't have much of a chance nowadays to meet anyone that's going to actually care.

I see your dilemma now considering the texting history. I don't think there's anything morally wrong with sending your friend a heartfelt letter thanking them for being in your life and whatnot. I think that would be much better than never hearing from you again and having no clue what happened to you.

I'm sorry about that. It's a lonely world. This is why I've turned to animals for now. Do you have a pet?

And yeah. I just feel like that would make him feel guilty. Ugh. The drugs (reason I'm cbt) also destroyed my ability to comunícate that good ironically

 

[SamTam33]

I reached out to a friend I hadn't spoken to in months to tell her I was contemplating suicide. I didn't want her to call or text and not understand why I didn't reply.

She immediately said to come visit her before I made any decisions. It was the most unexpected and reassuring response.

No trying to talk me out of it. She said something like, "There is so much about you I still don't know... I believe people should be able to check out when they've had enough... But come see me first. I want to show you the place that restored me and brought me back to life..."

I have no intention going, but the relief I felt at her response...

Sometimes people surprise you.

 

[almaranthine]

I'm sorry about that. It's a lonely world. This is why I've turned to animals for now. Do you have a pet?

And yeah. I just feel like that would make him feel guilty. Ugh. The drugs (reason I'm cbt) also destroyed my ability to comunícate that good ironically

Yes, I have a cat. He's mostly outdoor but he comes inside to sit on the couch with me and snuggle. I will be losing him soon, unfortunately, because I will not be able to keep my apartment. This is one of the reasons why I just want to finally ctb and be done with everything. I can't afford to live, and I have no where left to go. I've exhausted my options and I'm just tired.

Are you referring to psychiatric drugs? And yeah, I get why you would feel that way about the letter. Do you think they would feel better just never hearing back from you ever again though? In the past, I've experienced that plenty of times (the people just ghosted me they didn't die aha) and it's always been upsetting to never know what really happened, to not have any closure. Damn, this is really a dilemma. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful.

 

[Lavender Dreams]

I take it back.

I told another FORMER friend and this P.O.S. sent the cops. I didn't open the door. Just watched them on my camera as I drank.

Fuck her. From the depths of my soul... fuck her.

I'm not telling another human being. They'll find out eventually.

Some people legit think it's for the best and they're very naive about consequences of their actions. I would give it the benefit of the doubt, maybe the intention wasn't necessarily malicious.