Is it just a waiting game to overcome SI?

[offbalance]

I have SN and feel like I'm slowly getting more ready to CTB. But to take that leap takes a lot. I don't have that miserable of a life, objectively. But for my own reasons (such as the unchangeably bleak reality of this unfair existence) I want to. I've wanted to for years. I'm tired and drained. I know people who've gone through with it are not around to confirm but is it just a waiting game at this point to become even more tired and drained?

 

[hikikomorizombie]

coming from some1 who's been @ rock bottom for the last 6 yrs & just keeps devolving, u can't really escape SI unless you're under the influence of something :p i've more or less accepted that i'll die scared, but the SI i still can't embrace/overcome.

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess that if someone has their method all planned out it's just waiting for when the time feels right, I believe many just get so determined to leave. But anyway best wishes.

 

[FutureHanger]

basically 3 ways

• Drugs that reduce SI
• If the method is irreversible, I don't know much about SN but AFAIK once you drink it there's not much SI can do, then just like with jumping you just have to stop thinking and make the physical movements necessary without giving yourself time to doubt it
• You have to feel so angry/sad/despaired basically just be so overwhelmed with emotion to the point your SI is reduced or your intense emotions overwhelm SI as in the moment you are 100% sure you want to die. I'm going to try replicate this by deliberately making myself think of everything that makes me want to CTB in detail for a couple minutes until I feel so upset that I just do it. This is what inspired my idea + my knowledge of visualisations and meditations used to change your mental state.

 

[Cara7177]

I've been dealing with suicidal ideation since I was 10 years old (when my grandfather took me to his bed), and it used to be a thought that came and then passed. Now it's a constant, all-encompassing thought. I'm on TWO antidepressants and all I think about is how to kill myself. I fantasize about suicide the way normal people fantasize about sex. Is this how I know I'm finally ready to do it? I think so.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

I overcame survival instinct about 12 years ago. Had no reason to go on. (Still don't) Moments away from legitimately attempting to CTB. Fresh razor blade to the wrists in a bathtub. Only for the electricity on my entire block to go out and a family member knock on the door to make sure I was okay. Now every time I seriously reconsider taking my life I have crippling fears of metaphysical consequences. Survival instinct is a fucking bitch