purpleorangegreen_
Such a pretty house.
- Apr 20, 2023
- 27
I want go so bad. However, I am terrified as I love my family and friends. Also, I am scared that I will be put into an afterlife. I don't want that. I just want to CTB and be done with it.
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AkaRed
Come on! Let’s go, we’ll make our future together.
- Apr 20, 2023
- 215
100%, and that's not a bad thing. Give yourself whatever time you need, and come to a decision after a LOT of thinking. You are not in the wrong for wanting to CTB, or having thoughts of it. You would also not be in the wrong for choosing otherwise. You're not alone in this journey, and I only hope you are capable of making the decision that is best for you. Wishing you much luck, happiness, and success in your own journey, whatever it may be.
<3
<3
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FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,790
I would personally only fear the suicide method failing, it disgusts me how we exist in a world where we are denied the option to pass away in a peaceful and straightforward way, it truly is a hellish, prison like existence which is why I admire those who chose to free themselves from all suffering and all future harms.
But all my fears are associated with existing, I fear even worse suffering as in existence we can suffer to unimaginable amounts beyond our comprehension, I don't fear death itself, I only fear a world where we cannot pass away in peace, I believe death to be perfect nothingness where everything is forgotten about. If suicide was as easy as just choosing to pass away in peace then I would have no fear.
But all my fears are associated with existing, I fear even worse suffering as in existence we can suffer to unimaginable amounts beyond our comprehension, I don't fear death itself, I only fear a world where we cannot pass away in peace, I believe death to be perfect nothingness where everything is forgotten about. If suicide was as easy as just choosing to pass away in peace then I would have no fear.
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That's the thing that's stopping me also, ending up in a failed mess.
Same here, still looking.
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Abdullah
Member
- Apr 20, 2023
- 56
The Egyptians illustrated that in the afterlife, you could die a second time (i.e soul deleted). I believe we really are just spirts having a human experience. Why do Mexicans talk to their dead? What are consequences of going before our time? If death is really just a void, then why were we born in the first place?
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NoLightRemains
I found my light again. Namu Amida Butsu
- Sep 26, 2021
- 374
I don't think I'm ever going to completely get rid of the fear, but my mindset feels mostly focused so far for what will be my first (and hopefully final) attempt in the upcoming week. I have moments of anxiety through the day but I am able to calm myself and reassure myself of my choice. My big fear is a sudden surge of SI when it comes time to drink my salt, but I don't think I can prepare for that anymore than I already have.
I think I'm finally ready but just some lingering worries about last-minute panicking.
I think I'm finally ready but just some lingering worries about last-minute panicking.
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The only part of self-termination that I fear is the potential for failure. My method has a high probability of success, but there's also the possibility of failure. That scares me, because my lifestyle will be forever altered. I may never be able to attempt again afterwards. I want to know that when I attempt, I will be finished. I don't fear anything that follows a successful departure from this life, because that was going to happen whether I ctb or let life kill me. That's all inevitable. I'm taking a big risk.
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