Is anyone else in this weird place where they’re not 100% mentally ready to ctb but also don’t have enough hope to make an effort in life?

[666razorblade]

Yeah, I feel like this too. I'm unemployed, completely worthless, I don't want to live and I don't have a reason to. I don't have anything I want to do in life anymore. Every day is a chore. For some reason I still just can't do it. Everytime I plan it out I remember I don't want to hurt my family and friends who already struggle with their mental health and I don't want to cause some kind of chain reaction. If I were totally alone then I'd do it. I really wish I could.

 

[Walilamdzii]

Yeah, I feel like this too. I'm unemployed, completely worthless, I don't want to live and I don't have a reason to. I don't have anything I want to do in life anymore. Every day is a chore. For some reason I still just can't do it. Everytime I plan it out I remember I don't want to hurt my family and friends who already struggle with their mental health and I don't want to cause some kind of chain reaction. If I were totally alone then I'd do it. I really wish I could.

High fiiiiive me too. I mean, I don't (and don't think you should) connect your worth to employment. But I feel exactly the same as you anyway.

 

[azo]

To the folks saying it's SI— that's a definitely a factor. But I think that for me the main reason I'd hate to ctb now is because my life's been pretty much worthless heretofore. I've never contributed to science, or art, or any cause greater than myself. I don't want to sound egotistic— I know I didn't ask to be born and I wish I hadn't been, but now that I'm here, I guess I'd like to feel as though I've lived for something I believe in. I might still want to ctb but I'd feel a lot more secure in my decision to if I felt my life had had some worth.