Venting Is anyone else here a loner?

[DesperateOne]

Is anyone else a loner? I don't think I've ever had any real friends or even understood how to get them in the first place... Was always that weirdo in a group who never really knew how to get along with other kids/people my age. Socializing was and still is awkward, stiff, anxiety inducing and I never really felt comfortable in my own skin, so I just closed off and sank deeper within myself.

I'm still trying to figure out if isolation made me this way, my parents neglecting me or if I was just born a freak who was destined to turn out this way. When I was 12 I found solace and some sort of connection to people online, which quickly turned into severe addiction that I still carry to this day. That's it. Once I get tired of being terminally online, I will just pull the cord on myself since there is no life for me out there in society (the damage to my brain has already been done).

Can anyone relate?

 

[Death is my goal]

pretty sure many people here are

 

[BlankFace]

Yes.

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

I consider myself a loner.

I've gone over 5 years without having a solid friendship in real life. During my high school years, I was seen as a weirdo and a cold guy, to the point where I was ignored and excluded. I didn't feel like talking to people because I was very shy, so I didn't have the opportunity to connect with others.
In college, it was a bit different, but I was still ignored and considered cold because I didn't react to jokes. I did talk to my classmates at times, but I never fit in with them.

Currently, I have no friends in real life, and since I don't study or work, I don't have a place to meet new people. Additionally, the people in my town have very closed minds, so it's almost impossible for me to connect with them.

 

[sussshiroll]

Most people here are....

 

[Zanmato]

Well, I was always a loner.
I'm bad at socializing, and stuff like this.
Even now, I think I can say I have... Just a few friends
But they all live far away, so... If it wasn't for internet, I'd be more lonely, that's for sure.
There are some days where I don't speak to anyone, tho

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, of course, I've always been like that and I've always preferred to avoid this cruel, dreadful human species, I've never been able to relate to others, I don't belong in this hellish world that is filled with endless suffering, I'm not meant to exist, I never should have existed at all.

 

[sserafim]

Yeah, I'm a loner. I enjoy being alone and in isolation. During my high school years, I was seen as "smart, nice, and pretty". My crush said his first impression of me was "quiet and unassuming". I was very shy and blended into my surroundings. I faded into the background. I never made any genuine connections or friendships though because I have trouble connecting and relating to people. I think it's my Asperger's. I don't want intimacy or connection though. I just want to be left alone and be somewhere far away from other people. I don't care about love or belonging

 

[Ligottian]

Yes. In some ways I hate it, but on the other hand it is much more the lesser evil than being around people I would have to try and socialize with.

 

[vadim]

Yes. Your experiences growing up sound very similar to mine. I never fit in and was always the shy person awkwardly tagging along. When I did have "friends" it was usually just because they were forced to hang around me in a certain setting and they'd always discard me when something better came along. I've never in my life felt like I belonged anywhere and it seems to get worse the older I become.

Although I'm desperate for human connection, I'm also quite a choosy beggar as well so it's not like it's not at all my fault I've ended up this way. I want friends but also want little to do with most people I meet. It's hard to say whether I'm a loner by choice or not.

 

[Ephemeron]

Yes, I am.

Wasn't always this way. But I'm generally a fucked up piece of trash, so naturally nobody wants anything to do with me no matter how much I try to make connections with others. It's horrible, but hopefully I will be gone soon.

 

[Hated By All]

Yep I can relate I am a loner, I don't mind the isolation for the most part and to be honest I still find it difficult to socialize with and connect to people thanks to my autism.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I'm a loner, which probably isn't good. I used to have friends when I was younger (though up until middle school those friendships were pretty rocky) but I started pushing away the few friends I had left in High school. I do need to start making friends but my social skills have gotten worse over the years and I tend to get anxious when interacting with those around my age.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm a loner, but not by choice.

 

[Hollowman]

Yep

 

[snailfish]

Me!

 

[mtoro998]

Yeah well now I am didnt used to be.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

You'll find yourself gaining more "friends" if you can raise your perceived "value" to other people. Because sadly, that is what most friendships are based on these days. Just a bunch of people using each other for personal gain. That's why I've become a loner by choice.

 

[-Toplox-]

Yepp. I started isolating pretty hard (for all the reasons you stated) at like 12 and haven't stopped since. It's been decades and I'm still that same freak that can't be around people to save his life. I have no purpose, no skills, no profession. I'm not supposed to be here. I wasn't supposed to make it here. That's why I've always felt so "wrong". Someone or some thing, energy or whatever fucked up. Once shit finally gets bad enough I'll pick a spot and hang myself. Probably in the middle of the night.

 

[return.]

Is anyone else a loner? I don't think I've ever had any real friends or even understood how to get them in the first place... Was always that weirdo in a group who never really knew how to get along with other kids/people my age. Socializing was and still is awkward, stiff, anxiety inducing and I never really felt comfortable in my own skin, so I just closed off and sank deeper within myself.

I'm still trying to figure out if isolation made me this way, my parents neglecting me or if I was just born a freak who was destined to turn out this way. When I was 12 I found solace and some sort of connection to people online, which quickly turned into severe addiction that I still carry to this day. That's it. Once I get tired of being terminally online, I will just pull the cord on myself since there is no life for me out there in society (the damage to my brain has already been done).

Can anyone relate?

I can absolutely relate. I have wondered the same things you have. Did my isolation further push me into deeper isolation? Was I just born a weirdo and freak? Was it because of my parent's neglect? I don't know. For me, it's probably all three. I never had any friends, and I feel completely disconnected and isolated when I'm around people my age. I met people online, but those aren't real friends to me. Talking to people in-person is the worst. I hate my voice, I hate my looks, I hate my body, I hate who I am, and I hate how I can't connect or relate with normal people.

 

[-Toplox-]

I can absolutely relate. I have wondered the same things you have. Did my isolation further push me into deeper isolation? Was I just born a weirdo and freak? Was it because of my parent's neglect? I don't know. For me, it's probably all three. I never had any friends, and I feel completely disconnected and isolated when I'm around people my age. I met people online, but those aren't real friends to me. Talking to people in-person is the worst. I hate my voice, I hate my looks, I hate my body, I hate who I am, and I hate how I can't connect or relate with normal people.

Exactly. And you're stuck with this person. You hate every single thing about this person but you're stuck with them 24/7. It's exhausting

 

[Amnesiac_88]

Yes, ever since i was little i found talking to people overwhelming, i could never relate or fully understand anyone, i don't really have social skills and i'm very akward so people tend to get bored and annoyed by me very fast, so i started isolating myself, i guess the isolation has made my situation even worse but i kind of like being alone, this way i dont bother anyone with my akward personality and they don't bother me by being rude cause i don't act like them.

 

[LaughingGoat]

Definitely, I would've made a great cat. We really got some bad luck being the most social creatures in existence.

 

[sserafim]

Definitely, I would've made a great cat. We really got some bad luck being the most social creatures in existence.

Same. I'm a NEET and cats are basically NEETs lol

 

[dyingslowly]

Is anyone else a loner? I don't think I've ever had any real friends or even understood how to get them in the first place... Was always that weirdo in a group who never really knew how to get along with other kids/people my age. Socializing was and still is awkward, stiff, anxiety inducing and I never really felt comfortable in my own skin, so I just closed off and sank deeper within myself.

I'm still trying to figure out if isolation made me this way, my parents neglecting me or if I was just born a freak who was destined to turn out this way. When I was 12 I found solace and some sort of connection to people online, which quickly turned into severe addiction that I still carry to this day. That's it. Once I get tired of being terminally online, I will just pull the cord on myself since there is no life for me out there in society (the damage to my brain has already been done).

Can anyone relate?

Yeah, but I am a loner in the internet world too, I am your standard creep that you can buy from a regular store lol. But this one could use a little lead in the head.

 

[LaughingGoat]

Same. I'm a NEET and cats are basically NEETs lol

Funny thing about that is cats originally domesticated themselves to humans, so I think I should just try walking into some billionaires house, lay in the middle of their floor and eat their food.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes. I have had friends in the past but the past 10 years at least, I've largely been alone. I'm biologically an only child. Sometimes I wonder if that sets us up better to cope alone. I rarely feel lonely.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm a loner for sure. I will die without having made a single irl friend and, honestly, at this point, I want to die whilst never having a single irl friend. I'm so used to being alone to where friendships just aren't for me anymore. The damage has already been done to me and is irreversible. Thankfully I'm starting to get used to my loneliness but I still wished that I made friends during my childhood so that I can know what it's like to chat with people

 

[thedevilwithin]

in every sense of the word.

 

[Jiroscope]

Yes. So much so that I think I might have autism. Or maybe I'm just a loner. Idk because I'm too poor to get a diagnosis. I don't know how to maintain any relationships, I try and try but I can't. I see people around me make friends with eachother, and I've known them longer, but they're closer to eachother than I ever was to them. I tried to push my comfort zone and go out, but I'm invisible to most people. People never remember that I was there, it's common to be told stories about something that I was there for.