Discussion does anyone else feel no empathy for their parents

[HappyPotato69]

even tho theyve done a lot for me, theyve also involuntarily birthed me and caused me a lot of trauma, ik the first reason is a stupid reason to hate their guts and not feel bad for them at all for anything but like i genuinely just cant bring myself to care about them at all, even the insults that they throw at me dont phase me bc theyre just not even important to me, its like getting an insult from some random kid online.

 

[whywere]

My experience was easy.

My "parents" never ever wanted me and the day after I turned 18 kicked me out and I never had any contact with them again ever, 100% their choice.

Even when they died, it was in their wills that they did NOT want me at the wake or funeral.

After over 52 years, they are a foggy distant memory at best.

Walter

 

[alwayspissedoff]

I get that. I don't feel a lot for my family in general, I just can't. they're people who I've seen my whole life, who care deeply of me, and yet I can't feel much apparently. I do care and trust infinitely more for the only couple of friends who actually get me, cause they don't



I do feel bad for my mom for having given birth to someone as worthless as me, who can't even bring himself to actually trust her.

 

[starboy2k]

I used to have empathy until my mother showed me what apathy looked like towards me. Worst thing she could have ever done.

Now I wouldn't shed a single tear if she died tomorrow morning. Wouldn't show up to the funeral. Wouldn't watch her get buried in the ground, none of that. I literally have nothing but resentment and annoyance for her as a person and a parent.

I used to feel unreasonable for my hatred towards her, but then I remember she's the type of weirdo to rub baby piss (from a baby that wasn't even hers) on her fucking face because she thought it would give her "soft skin"……she was doing this shit in her late 30's by the way.

I hate that bitch fullstop.

 

[Off_Switch]

Absolutely not. Generally speaking, I feel like over 90% of people that have had children are dumb, useless and complete failures. No better than a dog or insect.

 

[pond]

I go through "phases" of years where the guilt and sadness are worse than the anger and resentment, and vice versa.

As much as I don't want to acknowledge it, the anger isn't pure anger even if it feels like it. It's a lame defense mechanism so I won't have to suffer the full brunt of the guilt and sadness. Anger and resentment are a different sort of pain and arguably easier to deal with, even if the pain is a pathetic attempt at distraction.

When the anger/resentment phase takes over, which I have been experiencing for the past few years to now, I lose most of my empathy for parents. I grew up in the anger/resentment phase (that was also muddled with fear and guilt and such) for most of my life but went through a longer than expected guilt/sadness phase. And I think that phase really wore me out to the point where I'm too scared to leave the anger/resentment phase. Though I've become so useless that the guilt keeps threatening to pierce through me in certain moments and it's scary.

I am also too worn by having been suicidal for my entire life to have the patience to deal with anything. My parents aren't objectively horrible even if they mess up sometimes. But despite the "love and connection" I have for them as family, I cannot truly forgive them and I cannot not hate them for having caused all this to begin with.

Already being scared of pain, growing up, death, the future, and everyone leaving before me, and planning to die every year since elementary school just messed me up. But even if my failed existence wasn't a self-fulfilling prophecy, and I didn't self-sabotage, I don't think I would have had the capacity to change it. I'm too stupid, weak-willed, and comically bad with pain.

 

[Butterfly-death]

My dad doesn't have empathy for me to the point where he wouldn't care if I took my own life, so why should I have empathy for him? I'll never understand him but he will never understand me either. He has caused me trauma and I will never forgive him for that

My mom... I can't help but have empathy for her even if she isn't the best mother but she's better than my dad

 

[TwistedNightmares]

I feel no empathy for either of them. Mom caused me a lot of trauma throughout my entire life, and dad is too much of a coward to help me out of my awful situation. He knew how bad my mom was, but still left me with her. He really only cares about himself.
I used to have empathy for my mom growing up, but she did brainwash me a lot over the years. I eventually finally saw her for who she truely is.

 

[limenlux]

I believe my father was a flawed but fundamentally decent person. His greatest mistake was being naive and getting involved with my mother, who permanently destroyed both of us emotionally.

 

[xXiloveyouXx]

I don't really feel much of anything for my family outside of my sister

 

[darksouls]

my parents are pathetic idiots, I despise them

 

[YourLocalEdgelord]

Absolutely not. Generally speaking, I feel like over 90% of people that have had children are dumb, useless and complete failures. No better than a dog or insect.

If Sasu had an award feature, I'd give you one lol. So here's your award at home:

 

[Riaxd]

Its wierd im losing it a lot more as time goes on

 

[negi-maguro]

While I feel little empathy for them, the insults and the way they dictate my life never stop hurting.

 

[orange7201]

None

My dad was in and out of prison and my mom continued to go back to him and cause enormous instability

They were too busy trying to fix their own lives to help me navigate mine

 

[rainatthebusstop]

I mean my empathy is already limited for two suicidal pieces of shit who decided to birth a third one. Yeah, real clever move guys, I see why you two were never meant to go far.

No but I lack empathy because they keep constantly demanding it from me while always ignoring me and my pleas for some understanding. Fuck that. You can't raise someone on rules for me and not for thee without turning those into rules for no one.

 

[neverexistedd]

sometimes I wish I could CTB in my room and be left unnoticed for 1-2 weeks, and then my parents would discover my decomposing corpse full of worms smelling like shit

 

[NitrogenNightmare]

Absolutely not. Generally speaking, I feel like over 90% of people that have had children are dumb, useless and complete failures. No better than a dog or insect.

Yeah, I think wanting a child in our current society should disqualify you from having one.

 

[suncide10]

I feel very little empathy for my mom because she deserves better than this, but I can't love her because of some traumas my parents caused. And I feel no empathy for my dad because fuck him, he is the main reason my life turned out this way.

 

[valar_morghulis21]

even tho theyve done a lot for me, theyve also involuntarily birthed me and caused me a lot of trauma, ik the first reason is a stupid reason to hate their guts and not feel bad for them at all for anything but like i genuinely just cant bring myself to care about them at all, even the insults that they throw at me dont phase me bc theyre just not even important to me, its like getting an insult from some random kid online.

I have empathy for my mom, but I do resent her for bringing me into this hell hole and expect me to thrive and have a good life etc. I however have no empathy to my grandma cause she uses my family for money and disregards of everyone.

 

[whywere]

a litltle effort.sometimes I wish I could CTB in my room and be left unnoticed for 1-2 weeks, and then my parents would discover my decomposing corpse full of worms smelling like shit

You ARE way too caring for anything of that nature ever.

I 100% KNOW what having so called "parents" is all about.

I have just at the age of 70 been diagnosed with PTSD and it is 100% from my growing up under my "parents".

You are much younger than me, so this is just food for thought and some life experience sprinkled in, but move out, when possible, spread your wings and feel sunshine and possibilities.

Scary? YES! AS I was standing on that street curb on March 13, 1974, can be tough at first, BUT!!! Can be so worth it. I had to work like HELL to make it, BUT no one ever could pull my strings ever. That, at least to me, was VERY much worth it, when I look back on the decades.

You are such a caring soul and down the road of life YOU DO have so much not only to give yourself, but to so, many others.

Hugs, caring and loving thoughts to you, and YOU ARE A WINNER!

You are WONDERFUL!!

Walter

 

[Nat.]

I used to hate them. I'm the youngest of five, and I couldn't understand why my mother didn't abort me if she was already tired of being a mother. She used to say this constantly when I was little. My father was useless and never acted like a father. For a while, I was left alone in his care, and he didn't even bother to make sure I was fed. I ended up anemic and covered in lice.

Over time, I've developed some empathy for my mother because I understand that back then she didn't have access to safe abortion, but I don't forgive her for the neglect and the trauma. I haven't heard anything about them in many years, and I don't care whether they're alive or dead, or how they feel about me having disappeared from their lives. I'm glad I cut off all contact with people who didn't love me.

 

[ApotheosisOfJ]

Objectively I know that I'm lucky with the parents that I got.

My dad worked hard to provide for us. And my mother was loving and sacrificed and worked hard to try and make sure we grew up happy.

But my dad also traumatised me and basically shaped me into the kind of person who can't even imagine opening up to people in real life. I've grown more and more resentful of him as I've gotten older. I started therapy last year and actually talking through some of the things he did has only made me hate him more. We live in the same house and don't talk, just stay out of each other's way.

My mom on the other hand is basically the reason I didn't CTB years ago. I can confidently say if she had died a couple years ago I would've stayed a while to make sure my sisters were taken care of and then CTB. She wasn't perfect, and has (I think unknowingly) put a lot of emotional labour and expectation on me in comparison to my sisters, but I love her and hate the idea of her mourning me. I think it might very nearly destroy her.

For years that's been the only thing keeping me from CTB, but lately my desire to cease existing has outweighed it.

 

[IwantAexit]

even tho theyve done a lot for me, theyve also involuntarily birthed me and caused me a lot of trauma, ik the first reason is a stupid reason to hate their guts and not feel bad for them at all for anything but like i genuinely just cant bring myself to care about them at all, even the insults that they throw at me dont phase me bc theyre just not even important to me, its like getting an insult from some random kid online.

for my father I have zero good feelings, he is like an enemy, for my mother it is different, she at least tried, she sent me to therapy when I was 11 years old, she is like a victim like me, she never knew the real solution for my situation, I know that solution now, and I told her, but it is too late to apply it, because the damage is done, we must apply it before the damage, but we don't have a time machine, and still, sometimes I dream about going to the past to guide myself in the right way, but still in that situation it will be the same, because that version of me will be good due to my help, but that version is not me, I will continue same and older so wanting to die anyway

 

[Passenger4224]

Zero. They should never have had a kid. But they did and now I'm here.

 

[valar_morghulis21]

even tho theyve done a lot for me, theyve also involuntarily birthed me and caused me a lot of trauma, ik the first reason is a stupid reason to hate their guts and not feel bad for them at all for anything but like i genuinely just cant bring myself to care about them at all, even the insults that they throw at me dont phase me bc theyre just not even important to me, its like getting an insult from some random kid online.

My mom tried to tell me that she didn't know any better back then. But she was like a grown ass woman in her 40s, and my dad was in his 50s when they had me. It's really hard to feel bad for them, like they had every means to be a better parents but they just didn't care to do so

 

[Forveleth]

I used to. I used to think "they did the best they could" but not now. Now that I have gone to therapy, I have learned all my negative self-talk came from them, word for word. I watch videos from understanding parents that actually listen to their children's distress instead of dismissing it and I realize you have to be a certain type of shitty person to tell a teenager to "just wait" when they come to you about suicide.

I do not care how they were raised or that stupid book they always talked about on "how to raise children". If they treated an adult like they treated me, it would be at best a bad friendship, most likely toxic, possibly abusive. The fact they never stopped to think that maybe yelling at me for having panic attacks was not the answer shows what type of people they are. I hate them. They are a major part of why I am here.

 

[Somewhat Suicidal]

less and less every day, as vice versa I guess.

 

[CareLessMeaningLess]

I did but I no longer do. At a point their "mistakes" stop being a mistake and starts being neglect when it is done every day, for over my entire childhood.

 

[Phantomygg]

My parents treated me like I was garbage growing up they would do the bare minimum and just ignore me most of the time, and whenever i hear them talk about me alone it's always them calling me trash or messed up in the head. I don't have any more love for them