Discussion does anyone else feel no empathy for their parents

[HappyPotato69]

even tho theyve done a lot for me, theyve also involuntarily birthed me and caused me a lot of trauma, ik the first reason is a stupid reason to hate their guts and not feel bad for them at all for anything but like i genuinely just cant bring myself to care about them at all, even the insults that they throw at me dont phase me bc theyre just not even important to me, its like getting an insult from some random kid online.

 

[whywere]

My experience was easy.

My "parents" never ever wanted me and the day after I turned 18 kicked me out and I never had any contact with them again ever, 100% their choice.

Even when they died, it was in their wills that they did NOT want me at the wake or funeral.

After over 52 years, they are a foggy distant memory at best.

Walter

 

[alwayspissedoff]

I get that. I don't feel a lot for my family in general, I just can't. they're people who I've seen my whole life, who care deeply of me, and yet I can't feel much apparently. I do care and trust infinitely more for the only couple of friends who actually get me, cause they don't



I do feel bad for my mom for having given birth to someone as worthless as me, who can't even bring himself to actually trust her.

 

[starboy2k]

I used to have empathy until my mother showed me what apathy looked like towards me. Worst thing she could have ever done.

Now I wouldn't shed a single tear if she died tomorrow morning. Wouldn't show up to the funeral. Wouldn't watch her get buried in the ground, none of that. I literally have nothing but resentment and annoyance for her as a person and a parent.

I used to feel unreasonable for my hatred towards her, but then I remember she's the type of weirdo to rub baby piss (from a baby that wasn't even hers) on her fucking face because she thought it would give her "soft skin"……she was doing this shit in her late 30's by the way.

I hate that bitch fullstop.

 

[Off_Switch]

Absolutely not. Generally speaking, I feel like over 90% of people that have had children are dumb, useless and complete failures. No better than a dog or insect.

 

[pond]

I go through "phases" of years where the guilt and sadness are worse than the anger and resentment, and vice versa.

As much as I don't want to acknowledge it, the anger isn't pure anger even if it feels like it. It's a lame defense mechanism so I won't have to suffer the full brunt of the guilt and sadness. Anger and resentment are a different sort of pain and arguably easier to deal with, even if the pain is a pathetic attempt at distraction.

When the anger/resentment phase takes over, which I have been experiencing for the past few years to now, I lose most of my empathy for parents. I grew up in the anger/resentment phase (that was also muddled with fear and guilt and such) for most of my life but went through a longer than expected guilt/sadness phase. And I think that phase really wore me out to the point where I'm too scared to leave the anger/resentment phase. Though I've become so useless that the guilt keeps threatening to pierce through me in certain moments and it's scary.

I am also too worn by having been suicidal for my entire life to have the patience to deal with anything. My parents aren't objectively horrible even if they mess up sometimes. But despite the "love and connection" I have for them as family, I cannot truly forgive them and I cannot not hate them for having caused all this to begin with.

Already being scared of pain, growing up, death, the future, and everyone leaving before me, and planning to die every year since elementary school just messed me up. But even if my failed existence wasn't a self-fulfilling prophecy, and I didn't self-sabotage, I don't think I would have had the capacity to change it. I'm too stupid, weak-willed, and comically bad with pain.

 

[Butterfly-death]

My dad doesn't have empathy for me to the point where he wouldn't care if I took my own life, so why should I have empathy for him? I'll never understand him but he will never understand me either. He has caused me trauma and I will never forgive him for that

My mom... I can't help but have empathy for her even if she isn't the best mother but she's better than my dad

 

[TwistedNightmares]

I feel no empathy for either of them. Mom caused me a lot of trauma throughout my entire life, and dad is too much of a coward to help me out of my awful situation. He knew how bad my mom was, but still left me with her. He really only cares about himself.
I used to have empathy for my mom growing up, but she did brainwash me a lot over the years. I eventually finally saw her for who she truely is.

 

[limenlux]

I believe my father was a flawed but fundamentally decent person. His greatest mistake was being naive and getting involved with my mother, who permanently destroyed both of us emotionally.

 

[xXiloveyouXx]

I don't really feel much of anything for my family outside of my sister