Venting In your 30yos and over: If life were going to get good, it would have by now. Missed experiences. Too late for everything. [jumbled unfocused rant]

[disabledlife]

I feel the same. I told my life all over SaSu, I'm not going to repeat myself suddenly. I turned 30 a long time ago and this sadness of wasted life and studies. It's far too late to catch up. Impossible to go back in time, and incurable evolutionary diseases. I had lots of ideas for inventions that could have possibly changed the world and scientific experiments for space-time and others in particular, but it's too late to concretize them, set up companies and laboratories.

The only thing I can still catch up with is to go around the world, travel, like young people of my generation had been able to do earlier in their lives, I want to do it before CTB, as far as possible, this at least it will be.

Although I was forced to stop my studies, I continue to educate myself through the Internet, scientific documents, libraries, occasional studies as a curiosity... The Internet has somewhat caught up with my stolen studies, but I still don't have a diploma commensurate with my knowledge.

It will always be impossible for me to start a family, too late, too late to go back to long studies, to pass the pilot's license (I wanted to fly on my own)... The time is long gone when I could still benefit from advantages for young people and students, in particular financial! Everything is too expensive in classic adulthood, you have to wait until you are senior to be able to benefit from reductions again, but my health will be too sick, and maybe I would have already left.

I always asked myself the following question, is it possible to travel in time? I think not, even if math can imagine it. What would be the consequences. I tried to study as much as possible why we have a conscience, is it innate to our body, what will become of us after death... The universe, etc.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

I had a hug once, but otherwise the same

 

[divinemistress36]

One of my therapists didn't meet the love of her life till she was 36 and she's 45 and they are still happy together . But yes in general I agree with this post

 

[ChildrensITV]

Preach. I feel you on this, living the exact situation.

Did this person CTB? I feel like a coward. He did it and yet I am still here.

One of my therapists didn't meet the love of her life till she was 36 and she's 45 and they are still happy together . But yes in general I agree with this post

It can happen, especially if you're a woman on a dating app. The odds are really good for women with 10 men to every 1 woman.

 

[tbroken]

I am in your exact same situation and with a bit more luck, i could step back in my life and make something worth. But I'm truly surrounded by pure evil and I know 100% that I wont make it. I was weak in my early years due to an injury and I could not make the right choices. It's harder than you think and I'm not evil or mature enough to just forget things. Anyway... life can always change, and maybe there is a little hope waiting for you. You're just wounded and don't want to be hurt again.

 

[ChildrensITV]

I am sorry life did not treat you well. I understand you, even though I'm relatively young-ish myself. I'm hoping in the next decade during my 20s that I finally find the peace I've been searching for my whole life. This is one of the reasons I haven't considered to CTB just yet. And if I do, I suspect it will be when I'm much older

Things are on your side, especially now. Don't let it get too late.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Nah I completely understand where you're coming from with this rant.

I've just turned 30 myself and am feeling the utter lack of experience when it comes to relationships. Everyone kept telling me I'll eventually find someone but even though I thought I did find someone who I thought liked me back, my utter lack of skills and experience made it impossible for me to properly initiate with her and now I fear it's too late or maybe she never liked me. Either way my lack of experience at 30 has screwed me over and it feels my only way out is to CTB.

 

[ChildrensITV]

I am in your exact same situation and with a bit more luck, i could step back in my life and make something worth. But I'm truly surrounded by pure evil and I know 100% that I wont make it. I was weak in my early years due to an injury and I could not make the right choices. It's harder than you think and I'm not evil or mature enough to just forget things.

Over a year since that post and my situation is still shit. It has gotten marginally easier to handle things but the situation is still the same, if that makes sense. I am destined to be unhappy. I am going to have the biggest smile on my face on my deathbed, knowing I can leave all of this behind.

 

[tbroken]

Over a year since that post and my situation is still shit. It has gotten marginally easier to handle things but the situation is still the same, if that makes sense. I am destined to be unhappy. I am going to have the biggest smile on my face on my deathbed, knowing I can leave all of this behind.

I understand you, i don't have a normal relationship from ages. I lie to myself, i lie to my "friends", i lie to my parents... And it is not even my fault. It is like living hell, don't know if we'll make it through.

 

[skybox]

I'm turning 30 next year and it makes my stomach hurt just thinking about it. There are things you can only experience when you're a young adult and I've wasted it. I can't drive, I don't have a career, never went to university, haven't had a relationship in 10 years. I will see what this year brings since I haven't completely given up yet, but man aging sucks so fucking much.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Sorry that life had been so shit to you. Im a fairly young person, so I don't fully understand the struggle of being an "actual" adult, but I completely agree with your point. Life is not, and never will be sunshines and rainbows. The reason why people can still think "everything will get better" is due to the fact that social medias and pro lifers only sharing the positive aspects of life for luckier people, and not show how cruel reality is to some. The way i see it, life is a completely random mess. You're just playing a game match with it. Some have the skills and whatever it takes to overcome all or most of its stages, but some don't. The world preach the winners, yet barely anyone ever look at those who fall behind. It's genuinely a sad reality. I hope you achieve the peace you deserve.

When I was young my autistic mind linked having money with having less problems. When parents are arguing about money issues it really hits home. In my 20s I realised that even earning "middle class" income you'd be completely screwed. Now it's just not possible to do anything anymore. No jobs allow for you to live by yourself. This is my experience from the UK.

The only way you can have a life nowadays is you either have a rich family so you can at least experience things or you have connections. Everything else is nonsense.

When anyone says "be an adult" or "you're not acting like an adult". It means - eat the crap, take the crap from a bad boss, be miserable from the situation but at least you have a roof and nice car. Check out and get benefits if you can. I've never done that but doing it this year as suffered with this autistic brain for 35 years. Oh and having a high IQ is not a good thing. High IQ and autism is a very high chance of depression.

 

[Redleaf1992]

I feel this, I think if I was 10-15 years younger, my problems would be worth solving and partially solvable. Now…nah.

 

[misthios2040]

No I get it. Everyone here on this post including myself agree. Your post is the most accurate thing I've read all week. I'm 31 and been depressed since I was 10. I've tried to make my life better, but it seems the constant status of my life is just shit and nothing good will ever come of it. I remember being ten and bargaining with God that he could have my soul if he would just let me die. I can't say life has gotten better. It's like ever year is another level of Dante's Inferno. I'm starting to wonder if this life is actual hell and I'm here because I fucked up on earth. Now I'm living in the bad place and forced to not know if I'm actually in hell or not. I must have been something evil in my past life to warrant this existence. I'll never truly know unless I kill myself. If I succeed after drinking 40oz of antifreeze and hanging myself from a bridge or if I fail I'll at least know which realm of existence I'm at if it's earth, purgatory, or hell.

 

[RemainingDubious]

I completely disagree. It is never too late to get your life in order and many people are late bloomers. My dad become a doctor when he was 54. My sister got married when she was 44. It can be easy to get yourself down looking back at your past and feeling hopeless, especially when you compare yourself to other people and all the things they seem to have done, but that doesn't mean fixing your situation is not possible.

Jordan Peterson wrote an interesting book on this kind of "my life can't be helped" outlook, where people think they can't fix their life because of their accumulated buildup of problems which feels insurmountable. His solution is to apply the "clean your room" approach, where instead of trying to tackle all your problems (you can't) you break your problems down until something becomes realistic. Are you a loser? Try getting a better job. Dont' have the qualifications? Take classes. Don't have the time? Free up some. Don't know how? Start making a schedule. etc, etc. Once you break things down into micro goals you can attain more simply, the rest eventually becomes doable, and eventually your life gets to a place where you can be happy.

Don't have the energy? Eat a banana.
Can't sleep? Count sheep.
Have depression? Stay strong.

Is it possible to be anymore condescending?