Got picked up. Felt I had things on my mind that I indicated to emergency services and well here we are. I made a post here earlier, signalling my aim to hang myself. I guess I still am not quite at that point yet, despite the intensity of wanting to die. Its quite hard to say to someone when you are 19 years old 'I need to know who I have got in my life', no one is that intense with a person out of nowhere. When things go wrong out of that and you're left accumulating pressure, knocks, punches, crunches and it's all one way and you live in a system that is designed to keep moving, that is designed to be superficial, when people are just 'supposed to know what you should do' to be able to make things work, it's hard to reconcile that. Even suicide seems to be something that you need to learn what to do, that there's certain methods that work, certain methods that don't.
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