What was the "Final Straw" that made you decide to CTB?

[amnesia999]

When I worked for the Employment Department, we had to determine why people were fired, or quit. (State and federal law required us to.) Often, people had "laundry lists" of things that had happened, and wanted to vent about all of them. But we had to find out what the "final incident" was; i.e. ask, why were you fired that day, or why did you quit that day. The reason is sometimes difficult to determine.

It's similar here, in this forum. When people talk about what led them to this dark point in their lives, they often write walls of text describing everything from the trauma that happened to them as a child, to the way society treats them now. But my question is, what was the final incident, the straw that broke the camel's back, the one thing that happened, that made you decide to (for example) order the rope and set the day and time?

 

[orange7201]

I don't think that really is a thing for most. Hence why you see the walls of text.

Very few people have one singular event in their lives that leads them to taking their lives or makes them "snap." It is usually a variety of factors, plus the passage of time.

If I had to boil it down to one thing, it would be that the passage of time has not made my situation any better, and so I don't see why I am keeping myself alive in such suffering. It clearly isn't going to get better, so what am I waiting for.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, there's no final straw, rather for me ceasing to exist is the positive solution to find true permanent peace from this existence so torturous and terrible that I just always saw as a mistake, existence is the problem that only ever tortures existing beings all for the sake of it with no limit as to how much agony one can feel and for me non-existence is just all that could ever be desirable in this existence of futile, torturous suffering. To exist will always be an abomination to me and all I want is to erase this existence so it's like I never suffered at all, I'd be long at peace if dying painlessly wasn't made illegal by humans who want others to be tortured in this existence for as long as possible.