Im still not a child

[Sleeper System]

I'm not asking for "agreement", I'm asking for a solution.

I'm sure there must be. People have unwillingly entered childlike states before so idk why I can't do it willingly.

I've stated multiple times that she said she's okay with it.

It's not forced if she literally says "I'll do it".

Why is it when I tell someone to CTB I get warned but when someone else does it they're fine? I feel like the mods have a grudge against me ever since the first thread I made

Surely there has to be a way.

Then I just need to find balance

I guess?

I already do all those things. I feel nothing. Plus there's still the adult responsibilities that I don't have the mental strength to deal with after the fact. I don't want that.

You can't exactly tell me to do something idk how to do without telling me how to do it.

I really don't. Out of all the people I've emailed for an interview, only one has gotten back to me. After that if it fails everything is hopeless. Plus there's the mental headache that is the "autism services" that my parents forced me to sign up for that only added more headache to everything instead of just keeping everything streamlined like intended.

It will also take the problems away.

You're crying about reprimands to the wrong person. I've been scolded many times by the mods. Only difference is I take my lumps like a champ.

You are clearly trolling at this point.
Enjoy your 5 seconds of relevance where everyone is engaging your nonsense. Exit left.

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

You're crying about reprimands to the wrong person. I've been scolded many times by the mods. Only difference is I take my lumps like a champ.

You are clearly trolling at this point.
Enjoy your 5 seconds of relevance where everyone is engaging your nonsense. Exit left.

No I'm not. But thanks for letting me know to report you and add you to the ignore list. I'm not here to have another argument.

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

Bumping since everything feels terrible

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I'm afraid you won't get what you're looking for. You already got similar replies to your first post: what you want is not possible to control and you even have people with brain damage telling you the reality of being brain damaged, which is much, much different than your romanticised idea.

There is no way to control how brain damaged you get. You can be as stubborn as you want but it's just not possible. If you try to harm yourself in that way, you may either ctb or be permantely damaged in a way you can't predict which has a high chance of being a drooling person who can't think straight anymore.

No one can go back to childhood, I wish it was possible but it isn't. You can either continue with this obsession and carve a whole horrible life for yourself or you can listen to the countless sensible people that are concerned about you and already gave you valuable feedback.

Blocking opinions that you don't want to hear won't do anything good, it will just isolate you more. If you want to achieve a child like state, I would say you are already there as you're quite immature.

 

[BrainShower]

Did you know that brain damage can...

Paralyze parts of your body

Cause extreme physical pain that never stops

Make organs underperform or cease to perform and cause systemic disease that will shorten life drastically

Make you totally incontinent of bowel and bladder (very common)

Cause anguish, depression, malaise, and suicidal thoughts.

Did you know that brain injury does not...

Cause you to revert into childhood

Source- worked in a brain injury rehabilitation facility for the better part of a decade

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

Did you know that brain damage can...

Paralyze parts of your body

Cause extreme physical pain that never stops

Make organs underperform or cease to perform and cause systemic disease that will shorten life drastically

Make you totally incontinent of bowel and bladder (very common)

Cause anguish, depression, malaise, and suicidal thoughts.

Did you know that brain injury does not...

Cause you to revert into childhood

Source- worked in a brain injury rehabilitation facility for the better part of a decade

I'm getting conflicting reports from "medical professionals" on this site. One group is saying "it's possible but plz no" and the other is people like you. Someone's lying.

 

[kilowatt]

If she passes I might just CTB tbh. But only when she passes as at that point I'll have nothing to live for

I don't think you understand the amount of damage you're trying to achieve. Damn right you're gonna CTB and choose the easy way out when you can no longer live without a caretaker to sustain you. Except you can't. If you learn one thing from this website it's that suicide is not easy in any context. Do you really think you'll have the physical ability to go on with a suicide plan when you won't even be able to chew your food? When you won't be able to use a bathroom by yourself? When your brain is absolutely nothing more than a pile of mash?
You don't need to turn yourself into a child when you're already this immature and inconsiderate. I hope you realize you're not gonna achieve your infant dreams by just sitting there and asking about advice on a suicide forum, without doing any research by yourself whatsoever, clueless about the possible outcomes and risks you're taking.
I feel nothing but pity for your girlfriend. Please consider looking at the situation from the outside.

I'm getting conflicting reports from "medical professionals" on this site. One group is saying "it's possible but plz no" and the other is people like you. Someone's lying.

''it's possible but plz no'' means the chances are split between dying and ending up in a wheelie. I can't sustain I am a medical professional but I am a medicine student and it doesn't take more than 10 minutes to find out about this information yourself.

 

[BrainShower]

I'm getting conflicting reports from "medical professionals" on this site. One group is saying "it's possible but plz no" and the other is people like you. Someone's lying.

Believe it or don't, and good luck

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

I don't think you understand the amount of damage you're trying to achieve. Damn right you're gonna CTB and choose the easy way out when you can no longer live without a caretaker to sustain you. Except you can't. If you learn one thing from this website it's that suicide is not easy in any context. Do you really think you'll have the physical ability to go on with a suicide plan when you won't even be able to chew your food? When you won't be able to use a bathroom by yourself? When your brain is absolutely nothing more than a pile of mash?
You don't need to turn yourself into a child when you're already this immature and inconsiderate. I hope you realize you're not gonna achieve your infant dreams by just sitting there and asking about advice on a suicide forum, without doing any research by yourself whatsoever, clueless about the possible outcomes and risks you're taking.
I feel nothing but pity for your girlfriend. Please consider looking at the situation from the outside.

''it's possible but plz no'' means the chances are split between dying and ending up in a wheelie. I can't sustain I am a medical professional but I am a medicine student and it doesn't take more than 10 minutes to find out about this information yourself.

I'm not turning into an infant, just a child. And considering she said she's fine with it means that I'll be fine.

Believe it or don't, and good luck

I don't.

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

Bumping because I recently quit my job because my manager treats me like shit.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I'm getting conflicting reports from "medical professionals" on this site. One group is saying "it's possible but plz no" and the other is people like you. Someone's lying.

99% of the people who have responded to you have stated that it's not possible.

 

[pebpebpebpeb]

this thread is agonizingly hard to read. the fact you cannot even handle the slightest bit of criticism is saddening. i'm sorry for whoever made you this way. seek the help you so desperately need. get back into reality. i'm praying to a god i don't even believe in that this is some sort of bait you made for attention.

the fact that you've made this post twice and gotten the same response should send some type of message, but clearly there is something wrong in your brain that won't accept reality.

this is incredibly insensitive to those with brain damage. i hope one day you can realize what you are truly wishing for, and how it will never be what you 'imagined' it to be. stay safe with whatever you do. but i doubt you will listen to anyone who does not fully agree with you. how sad.

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

this thread is agonizingly hard to read. the fact you cannot even handle the slightest bit of criticism is saddening. i'm sorry for whoever made you this way. seek the help you so desperately need. get back into reality. i'm praying to a god i don't even believe in that this is some sort of bait you made for attention.

the fact that you've made this post twice and gotten the same response should send some type of message, but clearly there is something wrong in your brain that won't accept reality.

this is incredibly insensitive to those with brain damage. i hope one day you can realize what you are truly wishing for, and how it will never be what you 'imagined' it to be. stay safe with whatever you do. but i doubt you will listen to anyone who does not fully agree with you. how sad.

I didn't want criticism, I asked for methods. If you're one to get offended over comments about brain damage that seem "incorrect" then maybe you shouldn't be on a suicide form.

 

[sadcausebad]

If you're looking for methods go join a football team and get hit a couple times in the head idk

There's like a million ways to get brain damage, I have brain damage and so do most people here commenting in this thread. It's probably the reason why I want to ctb

You're not trolling but damn you're just insufferable? I don't even know how to word it but you're self as hell too, people feel burdened by disability and you want it!

This feels like those fetishes people have for mentally challenged people

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

If you're looking for methods go join a football team and get hit a couple times in the head idk

There's like a million ways to get brain damage, I have brain damage and so do most people here commenting in this thread. It's probably the reason why I want to ctb

You're not trolling but damn you're just insufferable? I don't even know how to word it but you're self as hell too, people feel burdened by disability and you want it!

This feels like those fetishes people have for mentally challenged people

I meant more straightforward, less risky methods. How are people allowed to call me "insufferable" but I can't say "fuck you" without getting warned?

 

[sadcausebad]

I gave you a straightforward answer girl go play contact football or get into an "accident"

Do you want someone to come over and hit you over the head with a hammer? Like what the fuck do want lol?

You're literally insane

 

[broth0100]

I meant more straightforward, less risky methods. How are people allowed to call me "insufferable" but I can't say "fuck you" without getting warned?

I think thts exactly wat ppl in this thread r trying to tell u tho..there r rlly no straightforward or minimally risky ways of attempting the thing tht u wanna attempt..

 

[Don’tDoxMe]

Fun fact, I've actually fantasized about and desired a severe brain injury since I was 12, and I'm 29 now. And it goes far beyond wanting to be a child again. All these horrible possibilities that people are mentioning in this thread are exactly the things I've desired for most of my life. Over the years, I've learned many, many things about brain injury because of this.

And guess what? I've never attempted to harm myself in an attempt to get what I want in that regard, I've only done it to ctb. And it's because:
1. Like everyone's telling you, you can't pick and choose the effects you suffer from, just like you can't with HRT. I already suffer from bad cognitive issues, and I don't want to just end up a worse version of what I already am, fully conscious but aware of the ways I'm deficient. And on the other end of the spectrum, the extent of the disabilities I think I want would require an injury (Likely an anoxic/hypoxic one) so severe that it's honestly much, much likely that the doctors and my dad will just choose to stop life support.

2. As much as I fantasize, the reality of forcing my loved ones to care for me is extremely fucked up imo. The very best outcome is that I get dumped in a nursing home (I have Medicare and Medicaid) and get cared for by people for whom it's their job to do so. And I don't even want to impose that on them.

3. And finally… honestly, the reality would just really fuckin suck? Like, obviously, this conclusion requires no thought. As much as my life sucks now, at least it's objectively better than what I'd be thinking of. I would either continue to live this way or fully ctb, because those two choices are far better than that reality would be.

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

I gave you a straightforward answer girl go play contact football or get into an "accident"

Do you want someone to come over and hit you over the head with a hammer? Like what the fuck do want lol?

You're literally insane

To find an exact thing that will put me in a childlike state that won't have any or have little drawbacks.

I think thts exactly wat ppl in this thread r trying to tell u tho..there r rlly no straightforward or minimally risky ways of attempting the thing tht u wanna attempt..

I don't believe that, as I've said before.

Fun fact, I've actually fantasized about and desired a severe brain injury since I was 12, and I'm 29 now. And it goes far beyond wanting to be a child again. All these horrible possibilities that people are mentioning in this thread are exactly the things I've desired for most of my life. Over the years, I've learned many, many things about brain injury because of this.

And guess what? I've never attempted to harm myself in an attempt to get what I want in that regard, I've only done it to ctb. And it's because:
1. Like everyone's telling you, you can't pick and choose the effects you suffer from, just like you can't with HRT. I already suffer from bad cognitive issues, and I don't want to just end up a worse version of what I already am, fully conscious but aware of the ways I'm deficient. And on the other end of the spectrum, the extent of the disabilities I think I want would require an injury (Likely an anoxic/hypoxic one) so severe that it's honestly much, much likely that the doctors and my dad will just choose to stop life support.

2. As much as I fantasize, the reality of forcing my loved ones to care for me is extremely fucked up imo. The very best outcome is that I get dumped in a nursing home (I have Medicare and Medicaid) and get cared for by people for whom it's their job to do so. And I don't even want to impose that on them.

3. And finally… honestly, the reality would just really fuckin suck? Like, obviously, this conclusion requires no thought. As much as my life sucks now, at least it's objectively better than what I'd be thinking of. I would either continue to live this way or fully ctb, because those two choices are far better than that reality would be.

I don't believe it, it's not forcing if she said she would and that's your viewpoint not mine. I've already answered all of these.

 

[broth0100]

To find an exact thing that will put me in a childlike state that won't have any or have little drawbacks.

I don't believe that, as I've said before.

I don't believe it, it's not forcing if she said she would and that's your viewpoint not mine. I've already answered all of these.

I dont think anyone here is gna b able to give u the answers u want tbh, if i were u id probably mute this thread or smthn. Its ur prerogative tho

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

Aight well maybe this whole thing is moot cuz you honestly seem like you've got a lot of brain damage anyway lmao

Why is it that I can't say "fuck you" but people are allowed to be shitty to me for simply asking something?

I dont think anyone here is gna b able to give u the answers u want tbh, if i were u id probably mute this thread or smthn. Its ur prerogative tho

Nah, I'm not giving into the mob.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

The best thing to do is to ignore this thread. This person won't listen to anyone unless it's someone delusional agreeing with them.

 

[justcallmeJ]

I kinda understand why you want this, im 25 and i still cant "adult" properly, and probably never will. It scares me too and not being able to fit in society is one of the reasons for me to ctb.. i dont know of a reliable method, because they all seem inconsistent amd very risky. I hope however that you find one that works and i hope you will be able to live the life you desire

 

[kilowatt]

Why is it that I can't say "fuck you" but people are allowed to be shitty to me for simply asking something?

In all seriousness I think you should work on your self awareness.

 

[sorlox]

no offence, but this sounds like absolutely terrible idea

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

I kinda understand why you want this, im 25 and i still cant "adult" properly, and probably never will. It scares me too and not being able to fit in society is one of the reasons for me to ctb.. i dont know of a reliable method, because they all seem inconsistent amd very risky. I hope however that you find one that works and i hope you will be able to live the life you desire

Thank you for actually being supportive.

In all seriousness I think you should work on your self awareness.

Gotta love how you didn't even answer the specific question I was asking

no offence, but this sounds like absolutely terrible idea

I understand the risks and am willing to take them.

 

[sorlox]

:

I understand the risks and am willing to take them.

Have you tried to look for examples of people with whom this happened? There are many people on this planet, and i'm sure, if state of mind you're trying to achieve is possible, someone already experienced that, voluntarily or not.

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

:

Have you tried to look for examples of people with whom this happened? There are many people on this planet, and i'm sure, if state of mind you're trying to achieve is possible, someone already experienced that, voluntarily or not.

I've seen people fall under similar ailments before unintentionally. I'm hoping that if I do it intentionally then I'll get a safer more calculated result

 

[AnHeroTransGirl]

Bumping since I recently had a bump in self harm

 

[trashprincess]

Go to college, get a PHD in like brain chemistry or something, and research the topic until you find an answer.

Based off of reality, that's how someone would find out something like this. Too think you just going to stumble upon some groundbreaking new form of partial lobotomy is one of the most unrealistic things I've ever heard.

Things like this takes countless hours of research conducted by countless people. Why don't you look into what it actually takes to make a scientific breakthrough.

That's the only way you're going to figure this out, so if it's really that important to you, get studying