I'm starting to believe that forgiveness is bullshit.

[SMmetalhead36]

I'm starting to believe that forgiveness is excusing someone for doing you wrong. It's like someone saying suck it up and get over it. Is it just me that feels like that?

 

[hikikomorizombie]

join me in not believing in giving ppl 2nd chancesi never bought into the whole forgiveness schtick.

 

[SMmetalhead36]

join me in not believing in giving ppl 2nd chancesi never bought into the whole forgiveness schtick.

I understand that. I'm starting not to all over again. It's like forgiving someone that wronged you is like a slap in your own face. It's not cool to just excuse someone that hurt you.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

I understand that. I'm starting not to all over again. It's like forgiving someone that wronged you is like a slap in your own face. It's not cool to just excuse someone that hurt you.

precisely! i don't need any1, so if u wrong me, why would i want to keep u around?? esp bc 99% of the time i'd never do ppl how they do me. that's why i prefer isolation now, ppl are never worth it :p

 

[Deleted member 8119]

I always found the idea dumb, actions depend on people and have lasting impact. The idea that it stops being your bad it's crazy to me. Also, a world without any consequences is kinda nihilistic. because nothing is "wrong anymore". People should always try to compensate others for their wrongdoings and if they can't, be mature enough to fully understand what they did.

 

[-Link-]

True forgiveness is not bullshit.

I think the issue is that people are too quick to apologize for things, that a lot of apologies are disingenuous, and that a lot of the time it's about things that people shouldn't even be sorry about.

The same thing can be said about forgiveness. People are too quick to offer forgiveness, a lot of so-called forgiveness is disingenuous, and a lot of the time it's not even a situation that calls for forgiveness.

Forgiveness, much like apologies, gets cheapened this way.

Just as I think apologies should be given out very sparingly, I think so too should forgiveness.

Genuine forgiveness should never feel like bullshit.

If you don't genuinely feel it, then you don't owe it to anybody.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

For me it's because that word has lost it's value over time.
There was a time when saying sorry didn't automatically mean you were forgiven.
In the end, one doesn't really have to forgive.

 

[sickworld]

I'm starting to believe that forgiveness is excusing someone for doing you wrong. It's like someone saying suck it up and get over it. Is it just me that feels like that?

unrelated, but I feel like I've met you before. I dont know why its just a really strong feeling..

 

[SMmetalhead36]

unrelated, but I feel like I've met you before. I dont know why its just a really strong feeling..

You might have. ;)

 

[jujuklam]

True forgiveness is not bullshit.

I think the issue is that people are too quick to apologize for things, that a lot of apologies are disingenuous, and that a lot of the time it's about things that people shouldn't even be sorry about.

The same thing can be said about forgiveness. People are too quick to offer forgiveness, a lot of so-called forgiveness is disingenuous, and a lot of the time it's not even a situation that calls for forgiveness.

Forgiveness, much like apologies, gets cheapened this way.

Just as I think apologies should be given out very sparingly, I think so too should forgiveness.

Genuine forgiveness should never feel like bullshit.

If you don't genuinely feel it, then you don't owe it to anybody.

I totally agree with this.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I suppose I get the reasoning behind it in a way. In terms of- if you can't forgive (or forget) something, it can go on hurting you over and over. So, for our own sake, maybe it's healthier if we are able to let things go. Easier said than done of course.

What I think is more relevant here is trust though. When someone wrongs me, it changes my opinion of them. I'm much more wary of them and some of the trust I had in them goes. That can be minor. As in- they may often make plans or offer to help with something and then cancel- they're unreliable. So- to protect myself, I try not to rely on them in future. If we happen to plan to do something again, I don't set my hopes on it happening.

Or- it can be something major. Enough happened with someone in my childhood for me to believe they are a narcissist. I will try to avoid them at all costs because in my opinion, they are incredibly toxic.

I have thought about this in the past though. Have I forgiven them? I don't feel like I exactly hold a grudge as it were. That's just them in a way- to my view. Maybe they can't help being the way they are any more than I can help being me. That doesn't however change the fact that I believe them to be a very harmful person to be around- so- I wouldn't be, if I could possibly help it.

I also feel like forgiveness is the most relevant when you want or need to continue to have a relationship with the person. Seeing as I never want to see this person again- it doesn't affect any relationship dynamic. It isn't even relevant to them whether I forgive them or not. It isn't massively relevant to me either because, I don't have anything to do with them.

I guess I suppose it depends doesn't it? I suppose forgiveness is saying something is now ok. It's not saying the thing that happened wasn't bad and it's maybe not saying the person who did it wasn't at fault. But, I guess it is saying- I'm going to put it behind us. Maybe we shouldn't be saying it if we don't mean it and, depending on what it is, maybe not all people deserve a second chance. Plus, if they keep doing the same thing over and over, then- they're clearly not sorry!

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

Ill give a second chance or several to people i know aren't assholes if it's small time.

Those that make big fucked up mistakes just get cut off completely, ever since i experienced my big betrayals that's it for me.

One and done, then i forget about your existence.