Venting i’m scared that i won’t CTB

[houseonpants]

i've basically given up on going back to normal life. i live for the sake of eventually ending my life. but what if i never succeed? what if i have to live in constant fear of… having to keep living?

does anyone else feel like this..? scared of not dying soon?

 

[starlover]

Yeah I feel you. Pretty scary to think that i won't ever ctb and I'll just live out my shitty life all the way to the end.

But idk. Hard to overcome the impulse to live, much as I keep trying to. Rock and hard place. I am working my way through it one way or another.

 

[ScarletTanager]

I'm bit worried about it……

 

[Playingwiththedead]

i've basically given up on going back to normal life. i live for the sake of eventually ending my life. but what if i never succeed? what if i have to live in constant fear of… having to keep living?

does anyone else feel like this..? scared of not dying soon?

Yes!! I think of the beautiful afterlife ive seen constantly and my husband who i am dying (literally) to be with. I think the anxiety comes from all the people you will come across in your research talking about how this method or that method doesnt work and it happens to be literally every single method to the point where if you only looked at sasu youd think nobody ever killed themselves ever. the process of trying to CTB is so nuanced its easy to believe its mostly luck in whether what you do works or not

 

[seigfried]

i've basically given up on going back to normal life. i live for the sake of eventually ending my life. but what if i never succeed? what if i have to live in constant fear of… having to keep living?

does anyone else feel like this..? scared of not dying soon?

that's exactly how i feel, i haven't eaten or slept in a week, i haven't brushed my teeth in 3 months. i haven't looked at myself in the mirror for years. everything i had in my life is ruined and it's not even my fault. i'm being psychologically tortured by my father. i hate him. i want him dead.

 

[houseonpants]

Yes!! I think of the beautiful afterlife ive seen constantly and my husband who i am dying (literally) to be with. I think the anxiety comes from all the people you will come across in your research talking about how this method or that method doesnt work and it happens to be literally every single method to the point where if you only looked at sasu youd think nobody ever killed themselves ever. the process of trying to CTB is so nuanced its easy to believe its mostly luck in whether what you do works or not

exactly like i'm starting to regret all the research i've done on methods bc wym it's not easy to ctb

that's exactly how i feel, i haven't eaten or slept in a week, i haven't brushed my teeth in 3 months. i haven't looked at myself in the mirror for years. everything i had in my life is ruined and it's not even my fault. i'm being psychologically tortured by my father. i hate him. i want him dead.

you're right it's not your fault. i hope you can eat something and get some sleep tonight