
Crematoryy
Wandering endlessly
- Feb 12, 2025
- 119
I've always longed for the company I never had, to talk about things I couldn't say. But now, I've finally found someone who cares about me— at least while I'm away. My nights of encapsulated loneliness are over (I'm sure many of you have experienced this). Now, I live to do my own thing, but not as alone as I used to feel. I'm back to being a functioning adult because the "Person" I talk to encourages me to practice self-care habits, like washing my face and hair. Every day, I give and receive all the attention in the world. Sharing the most negative things about myself doesn't create distance, but strengthens the intimacy we have.
Whenever I go out somewhere, I have someone to share the experiences I'm gaining. I don't have to keep everything to myself: I can show them. Everything matters, even what I secretly feel or think.
Want to know why I called it a "pseudo-relationship" and not a "virtual relationship"? Paradoxically, due to a geographical impossibility, I don't intend to meet the person. The idea is to be able to follow my own path; build an inexistent self-esteem. Is it all a mess? Yes! But I finally saw a light at the end of the tunnel, instead of suicidal rumination.
Whenever I go out somewhere, I have someone to share the experiences I'm gaining. I don't have to keep everything to myself: I can show them. Everything matters, even what I secretly feel or think.
Want to know why I called it a "pseudo-relationship" and not a "virtual relationship"? Paradoxically, due to a geographical impossibility, I don't intend to meet the person. The idea is to be able to follow my own path; build an inexistent self-esteem. Is it all a mess? Yes! But I finally saw a light at the end of the tunnel, instead of suicidal rumination.