Discussion I'm going to CTB this weekend with N from C

[no.place]

Hi,

Some of you here may know me already from my activty on the megathread "N from C and alternative sources".

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/megathread-n-from-c-alternative-n-sources.28554/page-28

I got the N from so called "C" and have organized to ctb with it just in the next couple of days of this weekend.

Got my N, the meto, some alcohol, chocolate, water, my notes and wills, a cup with spoon etc (Sadly the lodicaine still hasn't come.. I won't wait for that).

Booked an nice hotel where to stay tomorrow, I should be doing my meto regime until now pretty fine [Discussed below]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...ions-about-taking-n-sodium.42258/#post-771273

And before the time in which ends the regime and I take the N I got suggested some tea and a light toast to help prevent vomiting, along the meto.

_____

If you're interest in following how this will go please keep this thread in check, I'll update until my last step.
In case of my finaly step I kindly ask the mods/admins (And will do again before the last step) do wait a week before deleting my account after no more updates.
So that if something happens or I survive I will be able to tell you.

Thanks.

_____

Edit:

Here are all the infos form whovere might get N (the taste in particular) or even for SN (for the meto regime):

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/n-protocol-regime-regimen-notes.27092/

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/n-taste-guide-draft.26278/

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/surviving-nembutal.17286/

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...rs-painkillers-draft.29822/page-4#post-634856

 

[GonnaGoBye]

Godspeed my friend! Wishing a peaceful exit!

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

Thank you for sharing with us. I hope it will be quick for you. And rest up and relax untill then. Enjoy your remainimg time on earth if you can

 

[andresantosfx]

Hi,

Some of you here may know me already from my activty on the megathread "N from C and alternative sources".

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/megathread-n-from-c-alternative-n-sources.28554/page-28

I got the N from so called "C" and have organized to ctb with it just in the next couple of days of this weekend.

Got my N, the meto, some alcohol, chocolate, water, my notes and wills, a cup with spoon etc

Booked an nice hotel where to stay tomorrow, I should be doing my meto regime until now pretty fine [Discussed below]

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...ions-about-taking-n-sodium.42258/#post-771273

And before the time in which ends the regime and I take the N I got suggested some tea and a light toast to help prevent vomiting, along the meto.

_____

If you're interest in following how this will go please keep this thread in check, I'll update until my last step.
In case of my finaly step I kindly ask the mods/admins (And will do again before the last step) do wait a week before deleting my account after no more updates.
So that if something happens or I survive I will be able to tell you.

Thanks.

Thanks for sharing this. And as always, we're here for you, if you feel like it's not your time yet, that's just fine. I wish you the best and I hope you find peace. And again, thanks for sharing, it's already helping me.

 

[no.place]

Thanks for sharing this. And as always, we're here for you, if you feel like it's not your time yet, that's just fine. I wish you the best and I hope you find peace. And again, thanks for sharing, it's already helping me.

I'm doing all this at the last sec (I don't want to procrestinate further) and with all the mental fatigue and suffering I have it's pure hell.. But I promised to be strong at least these last moment, to be regular with the meto and to do everything right once at the hotel to the last step.

I just took my first meto some hour late, booked an hotel at the last moment, went outside to print my notes and buy diaper.
I feel exhausted, as in a rush. I know that either I end it now or it will just be worse and worse...

I wish I had time to prepare, I wish I hade people understanding and loving me near me, I wish I didn't have to bother other people (the hotel managers) I wish I could get assistance to end my life peacefully... But I won't. It's all in my hands. It's scary, it sucks and I could fuck up badly.

Hope the best, at least to end this suffering.

 

[andresantosfx]

I'm doing all this at the last sec (I don't want to procrestinate further) and with all the mental fatigue and suffering I have it's pure hell.. But I promised to be strong at least these last moment, to be regular with the meto and to do everything right once at the hotel to the last step.

I just took my first meto some hour late, booked an hotel at the last moment, went outside to print my notes and buy diaper.
I feel exhausted, as in a rush. I know that either I end it now or it will just be worse and worse...

I wish I had time to prepare, I wish I hade people understanding and loving me near me, I wish I didn't have to bother other people (the hotel managers) I wish I could get assistance to end my life peacefully... But I won't. It's all in my hands. It's scary, it sucks and I could fuck up badly.

Hope the best, at least to end this suffering.

I'm also planning to book a hotel and the fact that I have to bother other people is one of the things that really stop me from doing it. Again, I wish you all the very best.

 

[no.place]

Ok guys... In half an hour I'll have to go to the hotel, then wait until night to do it.

My mother is away and doesn't know anything and I already said goodbye to my cat.
I wish somebody who cared about me would assist me in all this, but I'm alone. It's awful.

I bought myself some mouthwash to numb the taste before taking the N and some 35% alcohol to gulp down and chocolate to eat.

I'll keep you updated from my phone.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

I wish you luck. You can talk to us here or privately if you prefere. Im sorry that youre going alone. I wish you peace

 

[disabledandhopeless]

I wish you all the best

 

[Elbarado]

Im so sorry to hear you are leaving, if you want to rethink everything, a lot of people are here for you. Please consider you can still change your mind, before taking it. please consider it.

I dont want to be rude, impolite or sensational, but how far will you update us? as far you can, or to a certain point.
I also have N from C and i am interested of taste, burning, feeling, pain (hopefully not), discomfort (hopefully not)

 

[no.place]

Im so sorry to hear you are leaving, if you want to rethink everything, a lot of people are here for you. Please consider you can still change your mind, before taking it. please consider it.

I dont want to be rude, impolite or sensational, but how far will you update us? as far you can, or to a certain point.
I also have N from C and i am interested of taste, burning, feeling, pain (hopefully not), discomfort (hopefully not)

I'll keep you updated unti my last action. I paid for the hotel, said goodbye to my loved cat, lied to my mother (it still hurts) that I was going to a friend, carried everything under the hot climate and in the subway.. Now I'm here, and I'm not going back.

I'll let you know everything.

 

[Emily123]

i wish i had a courage to buy N from A or C. I am a little jealous

 

[rhiino]

You know I also have N from C and thus I am also interested in how it goes in terms of my own ctb. However, I am even more interested in how you are and really hope you have a smooth ride.

I really enjoyed your views and it hurts to loose another person that is better than the average one out there.

 

[no.place]

My Mother called me.. She discovered everything and beg me to not do it while crying all the phone call... I really don't know what to do at this point.
In the end she told me to do what I want with my life and that she doesn't want me to be unhappy.

I feel that I'm hurting her. And that she will never be the same. I don't know what to do at this point.

Edit

I'm sorry guys... It failed.
Perhaps it will be for another time.
I'm not heartless and I can't bear this..
Also calls are intercepted and she might risk legal issues because she let me ctb... I knew something would have happened.

 

[Fedrea]

My Mother called me.. She discovered everything and beg me to not do it while crying all the phone call... I really don't know what to do at this point.
In the end she told me to do what I want with my life and that she doesn't want me to be unhappy.

I feel that I'm hurting her. And that she will never be the same. I don't know what to do at this point.

Edit

I'm sorry guys... It failed.
Perhaps it will be for another time.
I'm not heartless and I can't bear this..
Also calls are intercepted and she might risk legal issues because she let me ctb... I knew something would have happened.

Hugs to you. Maybe that was the world and fate telling you it was not your time to go.

 

[sadbee]

My Mother called me.. She discovered everything and beg me to not do it while crying all the phone call... I really don't know what to do at this point.
In the end she told me to do what I want with my life and that she doesn't want me to be unhappy.

I feel that I'm hurting her. And that she will never be the same. I don't know what to do at this point.

Edit

I'm sorry guys... It failed.
Perhaps it will be for another time.
I'm not heartless and I can't bear this..
Also calls are intercepted and she might risk legal issues because she let me ctb... I knew something would have happened.

We can't help but feel. Although depression really takes the life out of you, certain things like hearing your mom suffering will always have an effect on you. I hope you'll find your way OP.

 

[no.place]

We can't help but feel. Although depression really takes the life out of you, certain things like hearing your mom suffering will always have an effect on you. I hope you'll find your way OP.

Thanks for all the kind words.. I'll plan everything for another time and try again. Sadly I have no choice, and the more I live the more I suffer.
Will let you know.

 

[Aap]

Best wishes

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

We care about you. Xo

 

[Brackenshire]

Sending peaceful vibes your way