Venting Im getting worse

[angelhopes]

Its 3:38 am right now and I've been crying since 9pm at night. I honestly dont see myself getting better unless theres a miracle that would happen. Im thinking about ways on how to end it all right now and I've been doing nothing but staring into the wall or in the ceiling. People irl who dismiss about me being suicidal doesn't know the hell I've been going through everyday.

 

[unluckysadness]

I'm sorry for your situation. I used to believe in miracles too, but I have so many issues since decades.
I cannot hear more things like "you'll see, everything is gonna be alright"... Healthy people cannot understand.
i hope you'll find peace whatever happens for you

 

[angelhopes]

I'm sorry for your situation. I used to believe in miracles too, but I have so many issues since decades.
I cannot hear more things like "you'll see, everything is gonna be alright"... Healthy people cannot understand.
i hope you'll find peace whatever happens for you

Thank you I hope you find peace as well

 

[redmourningdove]

I really hope you have friends in your life that are willing to listen rather than just lecture. I remember how much I hated people who would just blindly say "things will get better", before even hearing my frustrations, and I ended up feeling so guilty for even thinking about suicide. I'm always happy to chat if it helps, and I want to say you should never have to apologize for your thoughts like I did. The fact that you feel so deeply to cry about something for 6 hours, in my opinion, is a sign of STRENGTH, not weakness. People like you are probably the reason life is worth living in the first place. I hope you've gotten some rest, since it's quite late...I also hope you'll soon feel ready to share, rather than completely alone. Take care

 

[angelhopes]

I really hope you have friends in your life that are willing to listen rather than just lecture. I remember how much I hated people who would just blindly say "things will get better", before even hearing my frustrations, and I ended up feeling so guilty for even thinking about suicide. I'm always happy to chat if it helps, and I want to say you should never have to apologize for your thoughts like I did. The fact that you feel so deeply to cry about something for 6 hours, in my opinion, is a sign of STRENGTH, not weakness. People like you are probably the reason life is worth living in the first place. I hope you've gotten some rest, since it's quite late...I also hope you'll soon feel ready to share, rather than completely alone. Take care

Thank you <3 I shut myself off from my friends since they don't understand me. They would get mad at me if I told them I feel so suicidal and they would either dismissed it and or gaslight me to saying im not. They don't understand that being suicidal means im not killing myself on the spot in that moment rather than thoughts that is accumulating these past few months.