NSFW I’m an absolute fucking mess

[loslassen]

morning I suppose, I feel like shit, so many mixed feelings, sorrow, regret, stupidity, impotence, pain.

last night I attempted to hang myself, I ended up calling my bf because I felt so lonely and miserable, he had to talk me out of it, then I vented and cried out, but then I was just so numb, and frustrated, a few hours later after things calmed down for me we ended up having sex, I started it, but I still can't help but feel so fucking messed up, I just woke up and hes still asleep, I don't know what to do or what to feel, I feel like I don't deserve him

 

[M1sT]

I know, It's hurts the most when people are expecting from you and you let them down by either failing or CTB'ing. I don't know what's worse, I've been trying to numb my mind with some Zolcalm cause it's getting tangled with thoughts. I will get my SN at the end of this month.

 

[wondering&wandering]

morning I suppose, I feel like shit, so many mixed feelings, sorrow, regret, stupidity, impotence, pain.

I'm so sorry you feel this way. No one should have to feel all of this all at once.

last night I attempted to hang myself, I ended up calling my bf because I felt so lonely and miserable, he had to talk me out of it, then I vented and cried out, but then I was just so numb, and frustrated, a few hours later after things calmed down for me we ended up having sex, I started it, but I still can't help but feel so fucking messed up, I just woke up and hes still asleep, I don't know what to do or what to feel, I feel like I don't deserve him

Your actions and reactions seem (to me at least) natural and very valid. These are very important decisions and people in your life, and I think you handled it well enough. Sounds like you've got a good friend in your bf. Im wishing you peace in the coming days. If you ever want to talk/vent feel free to PM me. Although, it sounds like you've already got a great person to go to!

 

[loslassen]

I'm so sorry you feel this way. No one should have to feel all of this all at once.

Your actions and reactions seem (to me at least) natural and very valid. These are very important decisions and people in your life, and I think you handled it well enough. Sounds like you've got a good friend in your bf. Im wishing you peace in the coming days. If you ever want to talk/vent feel free to PM me. Although, it sounds like you've already got a great person to go to!

thank you :(