Nevnevermind
đź’¸
- Dec 11, 2024
- 1
I was on here around 2024 and tried to end it all with meds, I ended up just throwing it up and idk what happened but ever since I feel like I got stupider. Like there's a cloud over my mind and I can't see it think clearly anymore lol.
Anyways, im now forced to pay all my mom's bills, be her best friend cus all her friends left her. I'm a relief manager at a retail store. I make under 2400 a month, my usual bills is around 2200 (not including food and gas). Rn I'm fuckin struggling because the 2 cars my mom had are fucked. The pruis she has isn't burning the gas correctly, the coolent keeps getting sucked up and shooting it back out, need to replace the head gasket, and a cylinder or 2 (not sure), I just bought it new tires to because it was fucking bald basically.
The Saturn she has is just fucked but it's currently the only reliable car we have, it's rubs but it shakes so bad. The tires are almost bald, the meeter for the gas and coolent tep don't work correctly. And we need it to pass the smog ... It's almost time to renew the registration for it to. We wanted to pay extra for them to pass it but they keep saying it's to hot and the system need to be cooled for it to restart start or some bs. That's all problems that ion got the money to solve.
My mom has no job and thinks she a person of high-class (?).
She also made me get a piece of land, that I'm still paying for. And I'm so mad because with those payments we could of had a car and not have to worry about if I can even go to work so I CAN PAY HER BILLS
What pisses me off the most is that when she had a job, she got paid 30k in 4-5 months
Where the fuck is that money
Like yeah no shit, bills (at the time I was just a partner and making 600-800 a month), I could of been saving the money for a car ...
Anyways off topic but I also have a BF and I'm pretty sure he sees me more like a girl then a boy (I'm fuckin trans) and I just gave up on being accepted as I am at this point. My mom won't and my bf won't do what ever, that all the persons I got in my life anyway. Might as well let them do whatever with my mind and body. It never felt like mine anyway
Anyways,, my bf keeps forcing me to let him touch me even tho I've been saying I don't feel like being touched or sex stuff in general. I just been letting it happen and pretend a little, yeah it feels good but it's just I didn't want it, wasn't feeling it. Idk if that makes sense.. just adds to not feeling like my body is my own, but helps feed the urge to end it all. So maybe I'll end up doing it better next time. Idk. I'm so tired,
Anyways, im now forced to pay all my mom's bills, be her best friend cus all her friends left her. I'm a relief manager at a retail store. I make under 2400 a month, my usual bills is around 2200 (not including food and gas). Rn I'm fuckin struggling because the 2 cars my mom had are fucked. The pruis she has isn't burning the gas correctly, the coolent keeps getting sucked up and shooting it back out, need to replace the head gasket, and a cylinder or 2 (not sure), I just bought it new tires to because it was fucking bald basically.
The Saturn she has is just fucked but it's currently the only reliable car we have, it's rubs but it shakes so bad. The tires are almost bald, the meeter for the gas and coolent tep don't work correctly. And we need it to pass the smog ... It's almost time to renew the registration for it to. We wanted to pay extra for them to pass it but they keep saying it's to hot and the system need to be cooled for it to restart start or some bs. That's all problems that ion got the money to solve.
My mom has no job and thinks she a person of high-class (?).
She also made me get a piece of land, that I'm still paying for. And I'm so mad because with those payments we could of had a car and not have to worry about if I can even go to work so I CAN PAY HER BILLS
What pisses me off the most is that when she had a job, she got paid 30k in 4-5 months
Where the fuck is that money
Like yeah no shit, bills (at the time I was just a partner and making 600-800 a month), I could of been saving the money for a car ...
Anyways off topic but I also have a BF and I'm pretty sure he sees me more like a girl then a boy (I'm fuckin trans) and I just gave up on being accepted as I am at this point. My mom won't and my bf won't do what ever, that all the persons I got in my life anyway. Might as well let them do whatever with my mind and body. It never felt like mine anyway
Anyways,, my bf keeps forcing me to let him touch me even tho I've been saying I don't feel like being touched or sex stuff in general. I just been letting it happen and pretend a little, yeah it feels good but it's just I didn't want it, wasn't feeling it. Idk if that makes sense.. just adds to not feeling like my body is my own, but helps feed the urge to end it all. So maybe I'll end up doing it better next time. Idk. I'm so tired,
