Venting I'm alone at home and that would be a perfect chance to CTB

[Praestat_Mori]

As the title says I'd have a perfect chance to CTB being totally undisturbed in the next few days.

Many times I wished not to be here next year bc the end of the year only reminds me of nothing else but decline and from the next year I can't really expect sth else. I don't see any real chances to recover and a miracle isn't gonna happen. Probably my life will end lower than this year. It'd be a great chance to end this declining life now but there's always fucking hope that it's still not too bad and a turn around is still possible.

I'm really dreading a further decline but I'm also not strong enough rn to CTB immediately. I hate FOMO when there's actually nothing to miss out in my life. My life mainly consists of rotting at home. What a great life! Why is it so difficult to leave this world?!

 

[Kit1]

That sounds like a painful dilemma. Does it feel like there might be a glimmer of hope (hence the FOMO). Perhaps it is worth considering giving life a go as there is no turning back once ctb is completed. I have been reading some of your messages and how you reach out to those of us who are in pain - I hope that you give yourself a chance if you even have a slight doubt in mind. Thinking of you and hoping that you make the decision that is right foe you. Take care.

 

[venomousSSërpent74]

It takes a while to make the final decision to ctb but take all the time you need it's not easy but i wish you the best.