TheRedRoad
救いなんてない。
- Mar 19, 2025
- 11
What the title says. I still live with my parents, which is why I'm so hesitant about partial hanging, although it would be my preferred method since I'm afraid of heights and haven't looked into anything else yet. I just don't want my body to be found, but I still wanna do it in the comfort of my own home. It is a childish fear to some, maybe.
But nonetheless. I know I won't be there to see it or anything (or so I hope, whatever comes after death), but I only end up feeling hopeless and almost selfish for just imagining it. Even if I kind of resent them for many things they put me through, I still feel an immense guilt.
I was put in forced recovery years ago, which proved to be completely useless and only helped me mask better around my peers, but it's easy to see how that would get tiring for anyone. I still want a way out of this world. My parents think I'm doing 'just fine' now because of it though.
Asking for help is impossible, because frankly, this life has nothing else for me, and there's only one thing I desire which is for it all to end. Maybe I'm being too picky…
But nonetheless. I know I won't be there to see it or anything (or so I hope, whatever comes after death), but I only end up feeling hopeless and almost selfish for just imagining it. Even if I kind of resent them for many things they put me through, I still feel an immense guilt.
I was put in forced recovery years ago, which proved to be completely useless and only helped me mask better around my peers, but it's easy to see how that would get tiring for anyone. I still want a way out of this world. My parents think I'm doing 'just fine' now because of it though.
Asking for help is impossible, because frankly, this life has nothing else for me, and there's only one thing I desire which is for it all to end. Maybe I'm being too picky…
