If your first suicide attempt would’ve worked, what year would you have died in?

[SecretDissociation]

2020
SI kicked + was probably just a mix of wanting a parasuicide to get out of the situation I was in. Should've stuck to it now that I think about it

 

[Raven2]

That sounds similar to me, i tested fate kind of back in 2001. It was what they call parasuicide, i took a big overdose of Amitriptyline then waited a little while then called my doctor. I only remember getting in the back of an ambulance and everything was going blurry, and i couldn't stand up. I came to a few days later to learn that i had stopped breathing, and had been in ICU for a few days. It hurts sometimes to think, if i had just laid on the sofa that day and not touched the phone, my problems wouldn't exist.

I remember getting in the ambulance, being sick in hospital, a lot. Possible i passed out i cant remember but I do remember saying in a panic I didnt wanna die. Think they did checks on my liver but no permanent damage.

 

[AnonymousS]

I remember getting in the ambulance, being sick in hospital, a lot. Possible i passed out i cant remember but I do remember saying in a panic I didnt wanna die. Think they did checks on my liver but no permanent damage.

Sorry to hear about all your suffering. I think i was in two minds, but back then still had a slight fear of death. That went a long time ago, but the brain keeps a strong survival instinct deep in the brainstem. At times even though you may attempt seriously, it can still activate. I hope things turn around for you, being in such a state of ill health is awful, and drains you of your energy.

 

[Sannti]

2012, didn't find that one promising to me tree for hanging and escaped from forest. I was only 13, and from time perspective I really regret I didn't CTB then

 

[Raven2]

Sorry to hear about all your suffering. I think i was in two minds, but back then still had a slight fear of death. That went a long time ago, but the brain keeps a strong survival instinct deep in the brainstem. At times even though you may attempt seriously, it can still activate. I hope things turn around for you, being in such a state of ill health is awful, and drains you of your energy.

I'm sorry you suffered too anonymous. When I was taking the pills I had no SI. I genuinely didnt wanna be here anymore. I thought at the time what I was taking was enough CTB. Life was okay for a while now back to despairing unfortunately. Thanks I hope they do for you too.

 

[AnonymousS]

I'm sorry you suffered too anonymous. When I was taking the pills I had no SI. I genuinely didnt wanna be here anymore. I thought at the time what I was taking was enough CTB. Life was okay for a while now back to despairing unfortunately. Thanks I hope they do for you too.

Thank you i appreciate it, i think it may be common. If you have a severe and chronic depression, that as time goes by your fear of death gets less, especially if you have crossed that line before. I have had some very good days in between, however not for several years have things been kind of stable. I wish the best for all of us on here, this world is hard enough without constant illness too.

 

[quietam pacem12]

Ich wäre 1999 gestorben.

 

[time2fly]

2018. was gonna blow brains out with a shotgun but got cold feet at the last second. would have saved me a whole lot of trouble if i had gone through with it.

 

[icantandiwont]

2021. Slept facing the wrong side

 

[hershberger]

1997. With the limited information I had at the time, I tried an overdose which had no chances of working. It seems weird to suddenly realize that was 25 years ago. I only have one other true attempt (2017), so I guess at this pace it'll be 2037 before the next try.

 

[aloneinwinter]

2008

 

[Lavender Dreams]

2015ish. Unsurprisingly, partial hanging. SI and the fear of being found kicked in. Overcame it eventually. It's a shame it was unsuccessful in the end, seeing how much abuse went on later from the perspective of time, but at least there were little rays of happiness still to be experienced.

 

[CowsAreCool]

Lol November or December of 2018. "Attempt" is a stretch. But that's when the idea virus first set it. Unprompted. And tbh, I wouldn't have missed much. I would have left quite a bit better off than I am now. 2020 onward has been a journey.

 

[littlelady774]

2014. Was about to mix sulfuric and Formic acid to create CO. Glad I didn't because of the nasty biproducts it creates that burn lungs and skin

 

[AnonymousRobin]

july 2021 i messed up so bad with sn :( im trying to order some again but cant find a source

 

[Pluto]

It wasn't much of an attempt, but happened right when life was about to go downhill due to family abuse. Can't remember if it was 1992 or '93. Either way, you people make me feel old.

 

[MissingThyme]

I think it would have been 2005, if I hadn't miscalculated the warfarin rat poison. I'm torn on whether it was a good thing it failed or not. There are people who I think I made a positive impact on, but maybe they would have gotten to where they are now without me. Even if I was good for them before, though, it feels like I'm just useless now.

 

[TypeDef_End_Bye]

I would've died in march of 2020

(Edit) why didn't your method work?

2022 pfffffft

 

[Bigpink]

1990, I win

 

[Freebird4567]

2016 thought I could OD on otc meds and beer , ran a bath thinking I would pass out from the OD and slip into the bath and drown.
One sip of the beer made me vomit and my SI kicked in when I tried drawing myself

 

[B4mbi]

2016 :( I would have been 15 and then maybe people would have cared

 

[Regen]

Jesus, I would have died in May 1996.

But if I would have died, this would have been an accident. I had really lots of pain, but I did not want to die in reality at this time. I was a teen and I just dont knew how to escaped the pain in a better way.

 

[Ineedtodie]

2011. funny that I only tried again after 11 years in juniary this year after failing to keep a job. They were all in secrecy. And my last attempts were with partial since I joined ss. My life never been ok. Struggled with mental instability all those years. Today I couldn't feel more suicidal

 

[derletzteweg]

2009

 

[LaughingMedusa]

2003

 

[Wannagonow]

Wow! I feel SO old. I first tried almost 2 decades before some people here. 1987. With Tylenol (that's what we had in those days) My boss drove me to the hospital - so I didn't die. I was there for days.

 

[Himalayan]

2019

 

[ikdwhattothinjof]

2019

 

[Someday_Somehow32]

2017ish still trying

 

[Minibosterita]

1996 when I was 4. I should've pulled that trigger