AnonymousL

AnonymousL

Specialist
Apr 5, 2023
376
If I didn't have my boyfriend I'd be dead by tomorrow. I hope he realizes that. But my time will come soon

What is your reason you're still here and can't do it (yet) ?
 
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Darkover

Darkover

Angelic
Jul 29, 2021
4,739
simply a lack of peaceful method i would be long gone if i could just walk into a shop and get what i need to ctb
 
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strangelife

strangelife

Specialist
Feb 16, 2024
357
My son. I want to live, but not in this body with illness, so I want to exit. I already have method and working on alternative.
 
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E

Ethernatuskoi

Trying to Recover / Leaving
Oct 24, 2023
207
My mother, family and friends. And my mind lives in a duality where at the same time that I want to die, another part of me wants to live to fulfill dreams and explore the few pleasures that life still has to offer, despite the fact that my life is boring, dull and losing the colors. But I know I won't achieve anything good in the future, so whatever.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,938
Because we exist in such an hellish, evil world where there is the absence of peaceful, guaranteed ways to die for all. I'd be long gone if I could have the option of a death which is like never waking again without the fear of trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse suffering, it truly is so horrifying how in my case all the ways to die are either inaccessible or risky.
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,210
I'm here because all of the current methods are so terrifying and risky. Unlike what a few users here seem to think, me being alive doesn't mean that I want to live. I want to be dead and be free from suffering but I can't as the current methods are just so scary for me. One of my reasons for wanting to be dead in the first place is because of how mentally weak I am to where I react to the smallest amount of suffering and stress extremely and a suicide attempt would just amplify that due to SI
 
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lostinwoe

lostinwoe

woefully bound to death.
Mar 1, 2024
154
no method
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2024
3,282
No reliable methods
 
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filthystray

filthystray

Get me out of here
Sep 21, 2023
42
I'm going to jump on the band wagon anf say yeah, available methods are a high risk of ending up injuring you in the long term. The second reason would be my GF not because I care for her more than my family, no but because I have told her I am suicidal and she said that if I go through with ctb then she would not be far behind me. So her insane and immature ideas keep me here as well.
 
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Unknown21

Unknown21

The past never dies.
Apr 25, 2023
1,009
Waiting until I'm alone.
 
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Malaria

Malaria

If I can't be my own, I'd feel better dead
Feb 24, 2024
1,085
My loved ones, being stubborn and hopeful at times, and no accessibility to painless methods.
 
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ilovecats

ilovecats

Empty Husk
Feb 1, 2023
117
SI and the gym. Already tried with sn and failed miserably. Would've tried countless more times if I didn't have the gym.
 
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heisenberg

heisenberg

pile of skin and bones
May 18, 2020
157
my boyfriend and my little sister.
 
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Ico

Ico

Member
Jun 27, 2023
40
A wife and a kid that I am the sole financial support for. Without them, I'd be dead in 15 minutes.
 
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L

lifewasawillowtv

You’re losing me
Nov 12, 2023
216
Music and lack of guns/sn.
 
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vak

vak

In recovery 🤞
Feb 13, 2024
238
Family business 😥

I will already damage my family by ctb, but there could be legal consequences and chaos by my sudden departure. I try to be as responsible as I can to prevent it. Worst thing is they are probably still going to call me selfish even when I'm working my butt off to soften the blow right now.
 
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3/4Dead

3/4Dead

Peace, Love, Empathy
Feb 27, 2024
413
My mom and my close friend. Too close to them right now to do it.
 
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T

TiredOfAllThis

Arcanist
Feb 5, 2024
453
My cats...
 
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P

pole

Global Mod
Sep 18, 2018
1,385
mom and cats.
 
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dinosavr

dinosavr

and if i’m turning blue, please, don’t save me 🌛
Dec 14, 2023
696
My family and friends or at least if they didn't live in a small town where anyone's suicidal death would become a number one headline and everyone would know about it and make stupid comments and judge them even if it's not their fault at all.
 
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Only_Lonely

Only_Lonely

Member
Mar 3, 2024
5
college and expectation for future.
 
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2

26mmmm

Experienced
Feb 12, 2024
207
If I didn't have my boyfriend I'd be dead by tomorrow. I hope he realizes that. But my time will come soon

What is your reason you're still here and can't do it (yet) ?
A chance to improve my life
 
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Raven2

Raven2

Specialist
Dec 1, 2022
359
Family and lack of a decent method
 
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DarkThoughts

DarkThoughts

eepy guy, hoping to CTB with someone else.
Feb 6, 2024
119
Waiting for my SN to arrive, will most likely need to attempt without AEs while also living with my parents. Mainly rushed because the exposé on MDS was published the same day I ordered, so I'm incredibly anxious about a welfare check. Just adds on to the existing risk of trying to obtain it in the UK. If it arrives soon, I'll have to chance it with 4 drinks prepared.
 
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AnonymousL

AnonymousL

Specialist
Apr 5, 2023
376
SI and the gym. Already tried with sn and failed miserably. Would've tried countless more times if I didn't have the gym.
Can you tell me more how you failed at SN ? Did you follow the regimen?

Gym is also a saving factor for me right now
Waiting for my SN to arrive, will most likely need to attempt without AEs while also living with my parents. Mainly rushed because the exposé on MDS was published the same day I ordered, so I'm incredibly anxious about a welfare check. Just adds on to the existing risk of trying to obtain it in the UK. If it arrives soon, I'll have to chance it with 4 drinks prepared.
Be careful.. you can make quite some noise
 
I

inmyhead

Student
May 21, 2023
168
My mum and my cats. I've always known once my mum passed away I won't be far behind her.
 
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Guy Smiley

Guy Smiley

Just another lost soul
Jan 4, 2024
459
Guilt and fear. The guilt is due to how much it would hurt my family, and the fear is of death, as well as the possibility of failing and being left in a permanent state that is worse than death.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,883
My Dad and fear of failing an attempt.
 
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