Venting Idk whether to change plans

[FailureToAll]

My family went away for a week and were supposed to come back tomorrow so I was planning to attempt today as I needed to look after the cat while they were gone I was waiting until today. But now I just found out they are coming back today instead. I was planning to get super drunk before attempting to try and get rid of some SI. but knowing myself there's a high chance I would fail or back out and I don't want to get drunk and have them arrive to finding me drunk. I'm not sure I'll get anywhere close to succeeding sober. But this was my best opportunity to do it it's rare that they go away anywhere. I don't want to miss the opportunity but my plan is already ruined and now I'm just sat crying and idk what to do. I need to die. I spent all my money thinking I was gonna kms and missed bills so I'm screwed and have to fucking do it but fuck what if I fail. I want more time

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Don't put more pressure on yourself. You can ppay those bills later, that's probably doable. It's not bad to back out! You will have a chance in the future. What's your method? A failed attempt would feel way worse than backing out now or starting an impulsive attempt with very uncertain outcome.

 

[FailureToAll]

Don't put more pressure on yourself. You can ppay those bills later, that's probably doable. It's not bad to back out! You will have a chance in the future. What's your method? A failed attempt would feel way worse than backing out now or starting an impulsive attempt with very uncertain outcome.

You're probably right :/ just feels so awful having to wait again and not knowing when will be another good chance. I was going to try partial hanging

 

[Praestat_Mori]

You're probably right :/ just feels so awful having to wait again and not knowing when will be another good chance. I was going to try partial hanging

I can relate to this, about a year ago I had a very good chance to CTB, I was alone at home for several days, was very suicidal - the perfect chance. In the end I didn't attempt at all, regretted it that I didn't even try it and with time the situation calmed down. Now, I'm still around and hardly suicidal anymore - at least atm.