Oh that sounds brutal at your end. Wish I could offer some words of suggestion back to you. I'll send a (with consent) big hug.
Thanks for reading and your thought and ideas. You have helped - you've read/listened, which means a lot to me.
I tried venting on my profile a load a few months back but I find it just spirals me more where I pick more and more holes in what I am thinking. And made even less sense than if stopping to think and trying to communicate something to the 'wider world' not just ranting to myself stuff I already know but can't work out. I also feel like I need some sort of external input to try and even attempt making sense. Which isn't so viable.
The ball of string analogy is often used with therapy 'helping to untangle and organise thoughts'. But I feel like mine is a ball of elastic - everything goes straight back to how it was no matter how good a particular session feels with 'progress' - unless the next session was virtually right away, thats too much time and I ruminate/over analyse all over back to the beginning. But I think the best description is 'consistently inconsistent' - no matter how I try to understand or use logic or pick up on patterns, all theories are busted before long at all.
