Venting I wish someone would rape and murder me.

[I wish to be happy]

I think about it daily. I wish someone would do me in so I could feel useful for once. I want to go by strangling because I do it to myself often. It's become the only nice quantifiable feeling in my life. I wish someone would do it to me.

 

[justgarbage]

Why rape? Sounds more like a fetish thing than a suicide thing. I hope you are able to find some healthy ways to feel useful!

 

[I wish to be happy]

Why rape? Sounds more like a fetish thing than a suicide thing. I hope you are able to find some healthy ways to feel useful!

It's a combination of things. I wanted to have it so the way I died would be too embarrassing for people want to bring up. My love life has also been a mess. I've never had someone touch me and feel like they actually wanted me. I want to at least die feeling like I was worth it.

 

[SoverignDreamer97]

Beloved... I won't make any promises of your future, but... Suncha Ferreira from the Victus Group always said, "you cannot please everyone; control the things you can control, one step at a time."

Therefore, do not concern yourself with the minds of others.

 

[Afterglow]

 

[unluckysadness]

You don't deserve rape. Nobody deserves it. It's awful. Death by strangling too. I'm sure a lot of psychopaths would be very happy to do it to you but don't give them this pleasure. I hope your brain can change these thoughts. Take care

 

[SASU-KE]

I hope your brain can change these thoughts. Take care

Well said. This is the problem. Ultimately, it's just the way a person is hard wired.Sometimes people even want to do things that they hate or have a compulsion to do certain things that they find disgusting or abhor.

Isolating yourself with a person who's willing to do such a thing is a recipe for disaster, because there's no telling how much worse things might go.

I wish you peace,OP.