Venting I wish I could enjoy my last year but Im too much of a fuck up.

[fallingbehind]

Im literally going to stop existing in May and I cant even be cool and go out with a big bang because I hate everything and the only slimer of joy in my life is food, and the country Im in currently has the nastiest slop ever created.

I dont enjoy shit else because Im an obnoxious loser who cant stick to my own principles.

I want to be friendly and connect with others but I literally cannot because I dont trust people and even those I would have called my close friends I view as a threat.

I cant leave my dorm because I dont enjoy doing anything and being outside too long makes me feel sick.
Im seriously a grade A fuck up with no good qualities, and I hate the fact that life is so fucking dumb and unapealing because it makes me feel like my parents birthed me broken and I was robbed of being a normal functioning person.

And I cant even really find solace or enjoyment in online spaces either. Every fandom, discord, community online is filled to the brim with sexual deviants, misogynists and racists. Even Sasu.

Tldr: Im going to ctb in a year and I want to do it even fucking faster because everything sucks.

 

[sanctionedusage]

the only slimer of joy in my life is food, and the country Im in currently has the nastiest slop ever created.

what country?