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halfwaydown2

Human
Aug 6, 2022
11
I always knew that if I were to end it, I'd jump. I don't want someone to find me in my bed in a bag or after taking N/SN, don't have or want access to guns, and if done right, jumping just can't go wrong.
Therefore, last week, I traveled to Beachy Head, UK to CTB (I prefer the term TTE, ticket to Eastbourne).

The place was incredibly beautiful, awe-inspiring, and helped me regain mental clarity: I'm free. I'm actually free. If I set two steps to the left, I'll join the void. If I set them to the right, I'll remain and keep fighting. I never knew I had that power before. I was neither attracted to nor repulsed by the edge. I alone was and am the master of my fate. I don't have to die, and I don't have to live.

I feel a little better now. No, my problems aren't going anywhere anytime soon, but here's the kicker: I choose them. I continue to choose them. Beachy Head isn't going anywhere. I can always reconsider, and in fact I'm thinking about going once every month from now on.

No therapist would ever advise anyone to go to the place where one can so easily CTB. But I did, and it helped. We should really normalize talking about suicide, it would save far more lives than the tiptoeing around the subject that society currently performs.

If you have the time and means, travel to Beachy Head! (Or any other location that's legally accessible and safe). I guarantee it will help. There the choice is truly yours - step to the left or step to the right. It's the view from halfway down - while you can still do something about it.
 
Last edited:
MidnightDream

MidnightDream

Warlock
Sep 5, 2022
724
I've done something similar to you, visited the place I would jump and stared over the edge. It gave me clarity and a sense of control, and it's comforting almost just knowing that it's there. No therapist may advise it, but if it works it works! Love your last sentence too, It's important to take the time to consider that point of no return.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

She wished that she never existed...
Sep 24, 2020
34,070
Beachy Head does sound like such a nice place to die at. I do agree that it can make life more bearable for people just having the choice and option of a way to leave, they don't feel trapped here and they can just leave when the time is right.
 
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S

Sun n showers

Student
Jul 4, 2022
190
I always knew that if I were to end it, I'd jump. I don't want someone to find me in my bed in a bag or after taking N/SN, don't have or want access to guns, and if done right, jumping just can't go wrong.
Therefore, last week, I traveled to Beachy Head, UK to CTB (I prefer the term TTE, ticket to Eastbourne).

The place was incredibly beautiful, awe-inspiring, and helped me regain mental clarity: I'm free. I'm actually free. If I set two steps to the left, I'll join the void. If I set them to the right, I'll remain and keep fighting. I never knew I had that power before. I was neither attracted to nor repulsed by the edge. I alone was and am the master of my fate. I don't have to die, and I don't have to live.

I feel a little better now. No, my problems aren't going anywhere anytime soon, but here's the kicker: I choose them. I continue to choose them. Beachy Head isn't going anywhere. I can always reconsider, and in fact I'm thinking about going once every month from now on.

No therapist would ever advise anyone to go to the place where one can so easily CTB. But I did, and it helped. We should really normalize talking about suicide, it would save far more lives than the tiptoeing around the subject that society currently performs.

If you have the time and means, travel to Beachy Head! (Or any other location that's legally accessible and safe). I guarantee it will help. There the choice is truly yours - step to the left or step to the right. It's the view from halfway down - while you can still do something about it.
What if u can't do something about it?
 
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yuno

yuno

person
Sep 10, 2022
42
Once it was 3am in the morning and I drove out to a highway bridge located right next to the school I graduated from. I was certain my time had come. It was a quiet night. There were a few homeless people nearby. Would they stop me? They'd most likely take everything out of my car once I left. At that moment I only sat in my car, staring at the bridge. I knew once I left, my fate would be sealed forever, my car would be looted. My things wouldn't be mine. I would be dead. Which is what I want, but at the time I decided not to. Sealing my fate then just felt like too much. The timing was wrong. I still had people to serve and so I drove home. Now I'm thinking about the bridge again. Thinking about how it's probably not high enough… I wish there was some beautiful place for me to go, a place like the Beachy Heads.
 
H

halfwaydown2

Human
Aug 6, 2022
11
What if u can't do something about it?
But see, you'll never have conclusive proof that absolutely nothing can be done about it. Human creativity is endless, and persistence is key. Whereas you don't need to "prove" that you're allowed to live on and try again.
If you're truly convinced you can't do something about it, go back. Consciously make the decision again. And if you insist that nothing can be done, the choice is yours to jump. Or not.
 
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S

Sun n showers

Student
Jul 4, 2022
190
We can never go back... its just not easy to jump either si is a very powerful thing .
 
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O

old red eyes

Student
Aug 12, 2022
112
it is indeed so beautiful....i am destroyed and incurable.....self destruction....will be front page news once the Queen is off the front pages..
 
J

Jimblue

Student
Sep 10, 2022
199
I just googled Beachy Head and it's so beautiful. I did consider jumping once time. But I feel scared so I decide search other method instead.
 
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