I Want to Go So Badly

[Unattainable666]

The only reason Im still here is because I failed at my attempt. I'm so tired of getting up every morning (Ground Hogs Day), going to work with a bunch of attorneys and staff who are so stupid and ignorant its beyond belief. They live their golden life with their families and then judge me because I'm depressed. I'm so overwhelmed with life - I just dont want to be here. I want to get in my car, drive back home, find a nice camp site and take care of business. I want to lay down, close my eyes and never wake up. No more pain, no more alienation, no more loneliness, no more worries. I'd be able to see my Dad again and my little girl. I'm so afraid of trying and failing. It's so unfair that when my cat gets too old I can have her peacefully euthanized, but when I want to go I can't unless I take myself out. I fucking hate my life and I dont want to be here anymore.

 

[Ryan1uk]

I feel your pain.

 

[Unattainable666]

I feel your pain.

I'm so sorry you're in such pain.

 

[FuneralCry]

It certainly is so cruel how humans cannot just be euthanised when they wish to, having the option to just fall into an peaceful and eternal sleep certainly would be such a relief,I understand why you'd feel so tired of suffering in this existence. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

 

[Soc]

I too feel this. I'm just waiting for my own place where I can make my plans without being monitored. I don't want to do it under someone else's roof as they'd feel responsible for me.

 

[HD72]

The only reason Im still here is because I failed at my attempt. I'm so tired of getting up every morning (Ground Hogs Day), going to work with a bunch of attorneys and staff who are so stupid and ignorant its beyond belief. They live their golden life with their families and then judge me because I'm depressed. I'm so overwhelmed with life - I just dont want to be here. I want to get in my car, drive back home, find a nice camp site and take care of business. I want to lay down, close my eyes and never wake up. No more pain, no more alienation, no more loneliness, no more worries. I'd be able to see my Dad again and my little girl. I'm so afraid of trying and failing. It's so unfair that when my cat gets too old I can have her peacefully euthanized, but when I want to go I can't unless I take myself out. I fucking hate my life and I dont want to be here anymore.

I'd give anything to be able to leave my house go somewhere peaceful and just be. To have such profound sadness and pain. It's too much.

I am so sorry u r hurting. I wish I could help. Please contact me anytime you want to talk.

 

[ropearoundatree]

It's hard when others don't have it, or have it to this degree (of severity). So that they'll never be able to grasp, or understand what we are truly going through. But since they've felt similarly in the past - they'll tell themselves that they could (do it, if they were in our shoes / & that be, "get better!"). Count their blessings, b/c just b/c they're lawyers does not preclude them from one day getting this, or having to experience such ideation or thinking. Nor does it (for) any of their other family members. Anyway, I feel for you @Unattainable666 ! I truly do. . .

 

[Angel of Spades]

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with such a horrible situation. The lack of empathy from your coworkers is disgusting, but unfortunately these people just don't understand what we go through and how much we have to shoulder and feel. I'm wishing you all the best and I hope that you can find a way out of where you're stuck right now.

 

[offtoseethewizard]

The only reason Im still here is because I failed at my attempt. I'm so tired of getting up every morning (Ground Hogs Day), going to work with a bunch of attorneys and staff who are so stupid and ignorant its beyond belief. They live their golden life with their families and then judge me because I'm depressed. I'm so overwhelmed with life - I just dont want to be here. I want to get in my car, drive back home, find a nice camp site and take care of business. I want to lay down, close my eyes and never wake up. No more pain, no more alienation, no more loneliness, no more worries. I'd be able to see my Dad again and my little girl. I'm so afraid of trying and failing. It's so unfair that when my cat gets too old I can have her peacefully euthanized, but when I want to go I can't unless I take myself out. I fucking hate my life and I dont want to be here anymore.

Have you tried treating your depression? Maybe a new job might be in order as well

 

[aldennn]

Do y
Do you work at a law firm
Please contact me

 

[Gonnerr]

Me too, i wanna go badly , but cannot beat SI. Maybe someday.

 

[Unattainable666]

Do y
Do you work at a law firm
Please contact me

Yes, I do work for a law firm

Have you tried treating your depression? Maybe a new job might be in order as well

the state I live in doesn't have enough therapists, I've tried online and that was a fiasco. I went to a doctor when I first got here and she told me I was too old to be on medication for depression. THis is a very fucked up state where I live

 

[anxious_depressive]

Hi

I am in a very apathetic state right now, but I feel your pain.
I am truly sorry you are feeling this way.

People judge me for being depressed too (they think I'm just lazy).

Big hugs

 

[Unattainable666]

Hi

I am in a very apathetic state right now, but I feel your pain.
I am truly sorry you are feeling this way.

People judge me for being depressed too (they think I'm just lazy).

Big hugs

I try to live by the motto walk a mile in my shoes then come talk to me about depression. Funny, no one has taken me up on that yet. lol Have a good day

 

[anxious_depressive]

I try to live by the motto walk a mile in my shoes then come talk to me about depression.

Good words.

 

[aldennn]

I don't know can I say this ....is anyone willing to get a gun and I can come down there ....I just wanna be dead by gun but in Canada it's hard to get it

 

[Ah.ow]

Yes, I do work for a law firm

the state I live in doesn't have enough therapists, I've tried online and that was a fiasco. I went to a doctor when I first got here and she told me I was too old to be on medication for depression. THis is a very fucked up state where I live

I missed how law work came up, but can I ask about that?