Venting I want to die yet I don't want to die, how to describe this?

[Raichu]

Basically I want tk die yet at the same time I don't. Idk how to describe this condition. It's like I almost don't care if I die, but then again I am like let's give life another chance. It's like both working in my brain at the same time. And while I struggle to choose, I keep living which in turn ends up choosing to live! How pathetic! Does anyone else suffer from the same thing?

 

[Lucid7972]

"my rational mind tells myself to die, but my instinct tells myself that I am scared"

 

[Raichu]

Also my mother is throwing a tantrum. I have experienced family feuds before, but these days these just get on my nerves and I really cannot take these stuffs anymore. I despise life yet can't die. I am stuck

 

[J&L383]

Me too.

 

[Hollowman]

It's called limbo, I've been in and out of it for decades.

 

[Raichu]

It's called limbo, I've been in and out of it for decades.

There's a term for it!? Can you tell me more?

 

[lizzywizzy09]

If I could alleviate what ails me, fuck yeah, I'd want to live. But I can't turn back the clocks and fix my issues so I'm stuck in perpetual suffering.

 

[Hollowman]

There's a term for it!? Can you tell me more?

Basically it's being stuck in a state of not wanting to live or die. Somebody else could probably explain it better, my brain's really foggy.

 

[Raichu]

It's okay I hope you feel better soon and thank you

 

[SuicidalOrganism]

Despair

 

[FrownyFace]

Basically I want tk die yet at the same time I don't. Idk how to describe this condition. It's like I almost don't care if I die, but then again I am like let's give life another chance. It's like both working in my brain at the same time. And while I struggle to choose, I keep living which in turn ends up choosing to live! How pathetic! Does anyone else suffer from the same thing?

I feel the exact same way. I'm terrified of what death is like, nothing after death, just dying itself, and then the chance of surviving an attempt-that's terrifying, and I feel trapped. And there's a few things on this earth that make me think it'll be ok, but as soon as I don't have those things, it's bad again. And I keep holding on to it hoping it'll be better but it never is and I end up just wishing I was dead. Never ending cycle that's been going on for almost seven years.

 

[derpyderpins]

Basically I want tk die yet at the same time I don't. Idk how to describe this condition. It's like I almost don't care if I die, but then again I am like let's give life another chance. It's like both working in my brain at the same time. And while I struggle to choose, I keep living which in turn ends up choosing to live! How pathetic! Does anyone else suffer from the same thing?

"and when I'm lying in my bed . . . I think about life and I think about death . . . and neither one particularly appeals to me."

 

[UKscotty]

I don't think anyone wants to die. The normal healthy thing is to want to live and be happy.

We simply have to die to end the suffering caused by depression which makes us hate existence and see only suffering.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

I'm also ambivalent. I know I need to decide though, either I need to give living another shot with 100% effort or accept defeat. It's hard, I'm just tired