dreaming
sleepy
- Feb 11, 2026
- 130
For months I've had no words to say anymore, "I'm so tired" is repetitive and vague, but its all I feel, exhaustion, all the time.
I thought I was getting better. I thought I was feeling a little more "normal", I even smiled at the thought of finally being able to start HRT(I'm trans, so this is important to me) but last night I was reminded of how all the hope I ever think I have is just a distraction from my misery that has never once paused.
I don't even know how to live normally anymore because I struggle with the most basic things, I see no future, I fucked up every chance I had without even realizing until it was too late.
I want it over, I want everything over so bad.
I'm not feeling actively as suicidal as I did last night, but the hatred I have for myself was reaffirmed, and my stress and exhaustion were amplified.
I just want to feel comfortable and "at peace" for just a moment, not distracted from my misery but actually free from it.
I thought I was getting better. I thought I was feeling a little more "normal", I even smiled at the thought of finally being able to start HRT(I'm trans, so this is important to me) but last night I was reminded of how all the hope I ever think I have is just a distraction from my misery that has never once paused.
I don't even know how to live normally anymore because I struggle with the most basic things, I see no future, I fucked up every chance I had without even realizing until it was too late.
I want it over, I want everything over so bad.
I'm not feeling actively as suicidal as I did last night, but the hatred I have for myself was reaffirmed, and my stress and exhaustion were amplified.
I just want to feel comfortable and "at peace" for just a moment, not distracted from my misery but actually free from it.
