I'm sorry, I don't know how to write like a tortured Picasso painting. Would you feel better if I posted some sort of rant that contradicts itself every ten seconds? Is that what you need?
I've tried to be calm so I can provide a factual account of events, and what my body was feeling through them. I didn't intend to get to this point. I shouldn't be here talking right now. I thought once I passed out that it would be the end of it. And it wasn't. How do you think that feels? I'd said my goodbyes. I've burned bridges. And now I'm still here to face that?
Yes I mean emotional torture. And frankly my body doesn't feel great either. I'm struggling to support my own body weight. I feel like I've run several marathons with the muscle pain. And I feel light headed and nauseous. That's my experience. Do whatever you want with it. It doesn't matter to me. I've tried to be informative, and honestly I don't care what you think. But I do think it's tragic, in the one place that we can find people who may actually understand us, that people like you would go out of your way to try and discredit because you don't like what you've read. Better you didn't just post at all. Honestly I'd take a pro lifer at this point. At least they aren't hypocritical in their beliefs.
Very correct. I wanted it to be over. My life will fall apart today now. People will be very aware what I did, and that has consequences. Consequences I didn't think I would be here to face. But I am here. And I don't know what I'm going to do now.
The regimen that Stan provided is a two day thing. This wasn't done over two days, I got a breaking point and I went for it. I thought I'd done enough of a stat dose to achieve the end result. But either my stuff isn't of the best quality, or my body simply refuses to give in, or god only knows. All I know is I'm still here and I wish I wasn't.
And this, this is the one place I've felt safe to be open about a side of me I've kept hidden for most of my life, out of fear of judgement, or incarceration. And right now, this is the first time I've ever felt disappointed with it. People can be skeptical, or believe I'm lying. That's fine, it's the Internet. Question everything. But theres questioning and then there's kicking a man while he's down. Well done people, hope you're proud of that