I'm sorry to hear what you went through. I hope you fully recover It sounds like it wasn't pure enough, however, even if it had been pure enough, you didn't take the recommended 25g. What was the reason for that?
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It's Reagant Inc. it's garbage. There was a bottle on Amazon with a yellow and blue sticker if I'm not mistaken the last that I saw.Can you post the initials of the brand you used? I think posting the initials is allowed. I hope it's not LW
It's not LW.Can you post the initials of the brand you used? I think posting the initials is allowed. I hope it's not LW
It sounds like it simply was not the right chemical, there was an extraordinarily rare biological reaction, or there was a metaphysical miracle. All of which I think are possible! Should we not support the OP in spite of some confusion? What do you think happened OP? Why do you think this happened? It sounds like you don't regret taking it and still wish your suicide was successful, is that correct?
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everyone is continuing to be skeptical and asking questions but I literally just explained to you that the brand that they used is garbage. I've come across numerous threads in the past of this same brand. Someone even did a blood test the blood test passed but THEY didn't from taking it.
It's this garbage.
It's this garbage.
blood test just prove its sn dont prove the %
Nitrate will make your blood turn brown also if I'm not mistaken. I am probably wrong about that.
Is there a test other than blood we can do that will show us its nitrite and pure enough?
If you can't find a reliable company that provides it with good reviews, I'd recommend sticking to IC. I've no idea how to do test other than the blood test.
There's the aquarium test, but I don't know much about it.
There's the aquarium test, but I don't know much about it.
LookingOverTheEdge
Hello Darkness my old friend
- Jul 13, 2020
- 356
I'm sorry, I don't know how to write like a tortured Picasso painting. Would you feel better if I posted some sort of rant that contradicts itself every ten seconds? Is that what you need?
I've tried to be calm so I can provide a factual account of events, and what my body was feeling through them. I didn't intend to get to this point. I shouldn't be here talking right now. I thought once I passed out that it would be the end of it. And it wasn't. How do you think that feels? I'd said my goodbyes. I've burned bridges. And now I'm still here to face that?
Yes I mean emotional torture. And frankly my body doesn't feel great either. I'm struggling to support my own body weight. I feel like I've run several marathons with the muscle pain. And I feel light headed and nauseous. That's my experience. Do whatever you want with it. It doesn't matter to me. I've tried to be informative, and honestly I don't care what you think. But I do think it's tragic, in the one place that we can find people who may actually understand us, that people like you would go out of your way to try and discredit because you don't like what you've read. Better you didn't just post at all. Honestly I'd take a pro lifer at this point. At least they aren't hypocritical in their beliefs.
Very correct. I wanted it to be over. My life will fall apart today now. People will be very aware what I did, and that has consequences. Consequences I didn't think I would be here to face. But I am here. And I don't know what I'm going to do now.
The regimen that Stan provided is a two day thing. This wasn't done over two days, I got a breaking point and I went for it. I thought I'd done enough of a stat dose to achieve the end result. But either my stuff isn't of the best quality, or my body simply refuses to give in, or god only knows. All I know is I'm still here and I wish I wasn't.
And this, this is the one place I've felt safe to be open about a side of me I've kept hidden for most of my life, out of fear of judgement, or incarceration. And right now, this is the first time I've ever felt disappointed with it. People can be skeptical, or believe I'm lying. That's fine, it's the Internet. Question everything. But theres questioning and then there's kicking a man while he's down. Well done people, hope you're proud of that
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freedompass
Warlock
- Jan 27, 2021
- 768
Honestly I mean you no ill will at all. I no longer have a horse in the race after reading the last account, which, at least at the time of reading, seemed pretty convincing.
You said you were tortured. Idk that reads either histrionic or just rather vague and unspecific. Hence my question.
And I suppose I'm getting a little punch drunk lately with all the accounts…I didn't even read the whole thing and am not emotionally invested so my comment was more genuine curiosity than liar liar pants on fire.
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Thanks for your answers. I'm sorry you do not know what to do and I hope you find some peace.
LookingOverTheEdge
Hello Darkness my old friend
- Jul 13, 2020
- 356
I apologise too. I was holding it together to begin with, but reality is hitting home now and I'm falling apart. I shouldn't have lashed out like that. It's not like me
Honestly OP, I wouldn't stress myself taking all the time to have to try to type out all of this or explain yourself to anyone. You don't owe anybody a god-damned thing.
dont get mad or sad with your attempt, the fail can be explained by alot of factors can happens, my advice is take easy with yourself its a not easy time, physicaly day after day u gonna get better soon, mentaly maybe can take a bit longer but doable, and dont need reply everyone some opinions people just type without thinking or tryng understand what happened its not your fault or theirs fault its just life is not good for prolly everyone here.
LookingOverTheEdge
Hello Darkness my old friend
- Jul 13, 2020
- 356
I know, I shouldn't. I genuinely just wanted to help. This place has been a rock for me. I see people afraid and asking questions that can't usually be answered. And I'm in a position to answer some of them. I wish I wasn't, but if I can make just a little good come out of it, then why shouldn't I.
LookingOverTheEdge
Hello Darkness my old friend
- Jul 13, 2020
- 356
I know. You've said that. But I felt all of the effects that researching the chemical said that I would. Everything went exactly as I thought it might, right up until waking up. Surely poison is still poison?
StringPuppet
Lost
- Oct 5, 2020
- 579
I'm guessing this brand in particular is considerably less potent than what's required for CTB.
LookingOverTheEdge
Hello Darkness my old friend
- Jul 13, 2020
- 356
Well it's done quite a number on my body. I feel like it's been getting worse, not better for last few hours. So I don't know what to tell you on that front. Got a very unusual feeling around the area where my stomach and chest meet right now that seems to be worsening with time.
deathissosad
I will find you in the afterlife my Nanes. -boov 😢
- Nov 17, 2022
- 173
Im sorry its getting worse Do you think you should maybe seek medical help in case it causes permanent damage?
LookingOverTheEdge
Hello Darkness my old friend
- Jul 13, 2020
- 356
At first I would definitely say the emotional outweighed the physical. I was very unsteady with movement, and found it hard to support my own weight. My legs feel like they've been through a lot, despite that I was in bed for around twelve hours.
Aside from that I think I've described most of what I'm feeling since. Physically I wouldn't use pain, I would say uncomfortable. But I have always had a high pain tolerance
I appreciate the advice, but honestly, I don't want to get better. Ideally I would pass out again and not wake up this time, but I don't think that's possible now. I think my body will recover, it's just not particularly pleasant getting through it
wait.what
no really, what?
- Aug 14, 2020
- 981
Take care of yourself first, friend. Do whatever you need to do to feel as comfortable as possible.
If and when you're able to answer, did the ad copy for the brand you used say anything about being laboratory-grade, or 99+% pure? Apparently you can't use the stuff that they make for curing meat.
If and when you're able to answer, did the ad copy for the brand you used say anything about being laboratory-grade, or 99+% pure? Apparently you can't use the stuff that they make for curing meat.
I know exactly what I've said, and I'll say it again so everyone knows and this thread doesn't have to spiral out into panic and fear and worry and accusations and assumptions for no reason. For anyone reading this it was the brand they used. There's been a few other threads of people who didn't die after using the brand they used.
LookingOverTheEdge
Hello Darkness my old friend
- Jul 13, 2020
- 356
Thank you.
I brought it from a private seller on a website that I can't find anymore. Reviews were positive, and I received it from somewhere far away without a hitch. It states that it's 99.89 percent pure. Lab grade. There seems to be some doubt about the brand on here, which is fair enough and I don't know what to say about that, but it's certainly hit me hard.
I don't understand why it would cause a panic or fear? I don't think I've described the whole experience as being particularly bad. Aside from actually still being here. I think had I followed the exact regimen, I likely would not be. But I was in an impulse state and didn't really have two days in me.
I'm not trying to discredit what you've said, and I appreciate your input. Maybe it's not the best brand, but I do think it's perfectly workable
If the brand was perfectly workable then how come any other thread that I've read of someone that took it is still alive
LookingOverTheEdge
Hello Darkness my old friend
- Jul 13, 2020
- 356
I'm not looking for an argument friend, and I realise me being able to reply to you right now only makes your point stronger.
All I'm saying is that I feel very much like I've been hit by a truck. If it can do that on an impulse without taking the full 25g, I'm pretty sure it could be much worse following everything to the letter
I'm so sorry you've had this experience. It takes so much courage to go ahead with an attempt. It must feel utterly crushing when it doesn't succeed.
With regards to your friend that knew about the attempt- I know it's going to be hard for you and them. Still- they do sound to be very understanding- if you were able to share such a difficult thing in the first place. It likely will be an emotional rollercoaster for them but they are your friend- and they know how you were/are suffering. I expect they would want to be there for you. I hope the conversation isn't as bad as you think it will be.
I'm so sorry you are going through this experience but at the same time, I am selfishly so thankful to people like you who share your experiences.
I do have a question- if you don't mind? Was the trachycardia worse than doing strenuous exercise? It tends to be that and the breathlessness that makes me think I might panic. I have experienced minor symptoms like that in a gallstone attack and it was horrible. I've considered buying a small oxygen tank to maybe ease the panic, although I don't really know if that would help. Was it a feeling like you couldn't get enough air in?
I really hope the discomfort subsides soon and you are able to take some time to rest and recover.
Honestly, I am finding these recent failure threads very worrying. I do understand why people are becoming so distraught by them. I do also understand the paranoia that SOME of these threads may not be genuine but rather- some pro life scare tactic. Not saying yours is at all.
Still- everyone- can't we just be kind to the OP? If they are willing to discuss their experience- be grateful and ask the questions you want. I think we all try and become detectives when it fails- to try and work out why- which can help going forward I guess. Still- if you don't believe them- isn't it better just to ignore the thread?
Calling them out to be a liar is pretty insensitive when you have no way of proving it. They COULD well have just gone through the most frightening experience of their life. They're utterly alone- so they come on here to find comfort and maybe 'help' others and get greeted with this! Sorry but it really troubles me.
I guess I'm also wondering why it failed. It does seem like following a strict protocol is more likely to result in a successful attempt. Yet, people have succeeded without it. I'm starting to wonder if it is/will be like a helium thing- when manufacturers realised people were using it to CTB, they started adding a percentage of oxygen. I'm not a chemist or anything but I wonder if they could/will do something equivalent with SN one day.
Anyway, I hope you don't get any long term side effects. I hope you are able to reconcile with your friend. Thank you for being so open about your experience. All the best to you.
With regards to your friend that knew about the attempt- I know it's going to be hard for you and them. Still- they do sound to be very understanding- if you were able to share such a difficult thing in the first place. It likely will be an emotional rollercoaster for them but they are your friend- and they know how you were/are suffering. I expect they would want to be there for you. I hope the conversation isn't as bad as you think it will be.
I'm so sorry you are going through this experience but at the same time, I am selfishly so thankful to people like you who share your experiences.
I do have a question- if you don't mind? Was the trachycardia worse than doing strenuous exercise? It tends to be that and the breathlessness that makes me think I might panic. I have experienced minor symptoms like that in a gallstone attack and it was horrible. I've considered buying a small oxygen tank to maybe ease the panic, although I don't really know if that would help. Was it a feeling like you couldn't get enough air in?
I really hope the discomfort subsides soon and you are able to take some time to rest and recover.
Honestly, I am finding these recent failure threads very worrying. I do understand why people are becoming so distraught by them. I do also understand the paranoia that SOME of these threads may not be genuine but rather- some pro life scare tactic. Not saying yours is at all.
Still- everyone- can't we just be kind to the OP? If they are willing to discuss their experience- be grateful and ask the questions you want. I think we all try and become detectives when it fails- to try and work out why- which can help going forward I guess. Still- if you don't believe them- isn't it better just to ignore the thread?
Calling them out to be a liar is pretty insensitive when you have no way of proving it. They COULD well have just gone through the most frightening experience of their life. They're utterly alone- so they come on here to find comfort and maybe 'help' others and get greeted with this! Sorry but it really troubles me.
I guess I'm also wondering why it failed. It does seem like following a strict protocol is more likely to result in a successful attempt. Yet, people have succeeded without it. I'm starting to wonder if it is/will be like a helium thing- when manufacturers realised people were using it to CTB, they started adding a percentage of oxygen. I'm not a chemist or anything but I wonder if they could/will do something equivalent with SN one day.
Anyway, I hope you don't get any long term side effects. I hope you are able to reconcile with your friend. Thank you for being so open about your experience. All the best to you.
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