I told her how I felt and I was met with silence.

[HFK40000]

After three months of being ghosted I finally had phone call with my ex. I told her how I was trying to get my life back on track, how I got sober and, starting going to therapy. I was met with silence I was pouring my heart out and she was silent for most of it. She then told me she had a partner later in the conversation. She started dating this person around the time she starting ghosting me. The pain of being replaced is unbearable and I am now more sure than ever before that I'm going to die at the end of the month.

 

[tonicer]

Damn that sucks. I hope you find peace.

 

[post_card]

I am sorry but I don t understand why you would expect your ex to be of any help to you anymore. She doesn't seem to care about you, why would you still take into account anything she does or says. Yeah, the feeling of being replaced sucks. Your feeling are valid.
I read your last three posts. You sound like you still love her a lot. But from a 3rd person perspective this does not look like love at all.
She ghosted you for three months and she is meeting someone new already.
You already started a therapy. That is a good step in good direction, but only if you started it because You want to become a better person for Yourself in the first place and not for others.

Going through a break up is really tough. But that painful road is only gonna start once you accept it.
I don't know your whole situation so all of the above may sound really critical. But i can't just shake of the feeling that you are in a haze, not being able to pick a route. And you can't pick a correct direction if you don't see what's laying ahead.

Do you think that she feels the same way as you do right now?

 

[HFK40000]

I am sorry but I don t understand why you would expect your ex to be of any help to you anymore. She doesn't seem to care about you, why would you still take into account anything she does or says. Yeah, the feeling of being replaced sucks. Your feeling are valid.
I read your last three posts. You sound like you still love her a lot. But from a 3rd person perspective this does not look like love at all.
She ghosted you for three months and she is meeting someone new already.
You already started a therapy. That is a good step in good direction, but only if you started it because You want to become a better person for Yourself in the first place and not for others.

Going through a break up is really tough. But that painful road is only gonna start once you accept it.
I don't know your whole situation so all of the above may sound really critical. But i can't just shake of the feeling that you are in a haze, not being able to pick a route. And you can't pick a correct direction if you don't see what's laying ahead.

Do you think that she feels the same way as you do right now?

I really appreciate the concern and thought. Thank you for reading my other post. I do still really love her. I truly believe that she was the one. I want to believe that there is part of her that still cares. she is very avoidant so it will take some time for her to warm back up to talking to me.

I only started therapy because I made a promise to myself that I would do whatever it would take to win her back. Staying sober, going to therapy, etc. I would do whatever it takes to be a better person for her.

I think I definitely am in a haze because of my desire to be in a relationship with her. I don't really have anything else in my life I care about. My job is fine but I'm being replaced by Ai and it's extremely unfulfilling. In general I don't have a strong desire to stay alive.

I unfortunately don't think she feels the same way that I do but, if I could be in her life in any capacity I could keep on going. I would be happy to have her in my life and just love her as a friend.

 

[DignifiedGrave]

I really appreciate the concern and thought. Thank you for reading my other post. I do still really love her. I truly believe that she was the one. I want to believe that there is part of her that still cares. she is very avoidant so it will take some time for her to warm back up to talking to me.

I only started therapy because I made a promise to myself that I would do whatever it would take to win her back. Staying sober, going to therapy, etc. I would do whatever it takes to be a better person for her.

I think I definitely am in a haze because of my desire to be in a relationship with her. I don't really have anything else in my life I care about. My job is fine but I'm being replaced by Ai and it's extremely unfulfilling. In general I don't have a strong desire to stay alive.

I unfortunately don't think she feels the same way that I do but, if I could be in her life in any capacity I could keep on going. I would be happy to have her in my life and just love her as a friend.

I see you're into this idea of winning her heart back but love isn't really about "winning hearts", its more about mutual understanding, interest, and history. I get that losing a partner hurts, the last time I dated was five years ago and I never intended to really date again because eventually I learned to accept that if there was genuine love to be had in this world that itd have to be found and earned organically so I better be happy being alone. And actually, I am! Not that you most definitely will, we are different after all howver same, but that said, have you examined the possibility of a life without this person? Theres so many paths to take in life and I think its worth investigating if you haven't whether or not theres other options. I haven't read you previous so im sorry if all that is forward but anyways, i hope whatever you go with it leads to a happy life.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

If you read through my posts, I've been in a similar situation. My posts are super old. It's not all sunshine and rainbows if you get her back. I did and we broke up again, and this time it's worse because we moved in together so we're still detangling our lives months later, though that's because she's a terrible communicator and ghosts me when she hears something she doesn't like.

There's a certain joy to be had being single. I get it, it's fucking lonely sometimes, but there's a joy that comes with it for me. It's nice to do random things on a whim. If I want to go see a movie, I do. If I randomly decide on a Sunday I want to go on a hike, I just go. For example, me and my pals are going out to eat on Friday and drinking on a whim, just because we all decided we want to.

I'm not saying it's great to be single, and I oftentimes want a partner, but it's not all doom and gloom either.

If you ever wanna chat, please, feel free to start a conversation with me (I prefer conversations over chats, easier for me to notice and reply)

 

[HFK40000]

I see you're into this idea of winning her heart back but love isn't really about "winning hearts", its more about mutual understanding, interest, and history. I get that losing a partner hurts, the last time I dated was five years ago and I never intended to really date again because eventually I learned to accept that if there was genuine love to be had in this world that itd have to be found and earned organically so I better be happy being alone. And actually, I am! Not that you most definitely will, we are different after all howver same, but that said, have you examined the possibility of a life without this person? Theres so many paths to take in life and I think its worth investigating if you haven't whether or not theres other options. I haven't read you previous so im sorry if all that is forward but anyways, i hope whatever you go with it leads to a happy life.

I have thought about what life would be like without this person and it is very empty. She and I relate to each other in so many specific ways that's it's hard to imagine anyone else who could fill the same space. I have spent the vast majority of my life alone and I know it's not for me. I think if I tried to move on I would just compare everyone to her and, I think they would all fall short. I can't force her to love me but I can keep the hope alive.

 

[DignifiedGrave]

I have thought about what life would be like without this person and it is very empty. She and I relate to each other in so many specific ways that's it's hard to imagine anyone else who could fill the same space. I have spent the vast majority of my life alone and I know it's not for me. I think if I tried to move on I would just compare everyone to her and, I think they would all fall short. I can't force her to love me but I can keep the hope alive.

As long as you have the sense to know when its time to stop for her sake and yours. Best of luck and may you make peace

 

[HFK40000]

If you read through my posts, I've been in a similar situation. My posts are super old. It's not all sunshine and rainbows if you get her back. I did and we broke up again, and this time it's worse because we moved in together so we're still detangling our lives months later, though that's because she's a terrible communicator and ghosts me when she hears something she doesn't like.

There's a certain joy to be had being single. I get it, it's fucking lonely sometimes, but there's a joy that comes with it for me. It's nice to do random things on a whim. If I want to go see a movie, I do. If I randomly decide on a Sunday I want to go on a hike, I just go. For example, me and my pals are going out to eat on Friday and drinking on a whim, just because we all decided we want to.

I'm not saying it's great to be single, and I oftentimes want a partner, but it's not all doom and gloom either.

If you ever wanna chat, please, feel free to start a conversation with me (I prefer conversations over chats, easier for me to notice and reply)

We definitely share a similar problem. The only negative attribute is her inability to communicate how she is feeling in the moment. She will bottle up everything and it always causes a preventable problem that becomes so much more than it really is.

I am 29 and have only been in a relationship for twelve months across three relationships. I have come to the realization that the one thing that I would gain the most fulfillment from is being in a relationship. It's my dream and the thing I want the most.

I will definitely send a chat.

As long as you have the sense to know when its time to stop for her sake and yours. Best of luck and may you make peace

Yea, I'm giving her all the space she wants. I have gone to great lengths to avoid being around her physically. She and I have similar taste in music and go to a lot of shows so I gave away probably tickets to about a dozen shows so that I wouldn't accidentally bump into her and "force" an interaction. I sent her a message maybe once per two weeks. No phone calls. I told her yesterday when we spoke that if she ever wanted me to go away all she had to do was ask. I really want her to have a great life. She really does deserve the best but, I can't help but wish I was the one who could give it to her.

 

[Grav]

You say you're in therapy, have you told this to them? I've been in your spot more times than I want and if it's one-way it's just an open door for abuse. You can have memories but putting your life on hold for someone who has moved on isn't great. Please give your therapist your thoughts (enough to not be sectioned) since they are supposed to know what to say in these situations.

 

[HFK40000]

You say you're in therapy, have you told this to them? I've been in your spot more times than I want and if it's one-way it's just an open door for abuse. You can have memories but putting your life on hold for someone who has moved on isn't great. Please give your therapist your thoughts (enough to not be sectioned) since they are supposed to know what to say in these situations.

I have mentioned this situation to my therapist. They want me to find a path forward that doesn't revolve around her. It's what you expect the therapist to say. I really want to make it work with her.

 

[ijustwannabeloved]

After three months of being ghosted I finally had phone call with my ex. I told her how I was trying to get my life back on track, how I got sober and, starting going to therapy. I was met with silence I was pouring my heart out and she was silent for most of it. She then told me she had a partner later in the conversation. She started dating this person around the time she starting ghosting me. The pain of being replaced is unbearable and I am now more sure than ever before that I'm going to die at the end of the month.

Brootal is he more attractive than you?

 

[Grav]

That does seem kind of bland. Personally, I think you're wasting your time. Her silence could have been "great now I have his issues to deal with" and didn't know how to respond. Sorry for sounding harsh but believe me when I say I have been there. The only thing that got me past was a clean break, and in my case it was friends telling me to quit being such a *** and see what she's doing. Sometimes having a bad thing feels better than nothing, but it doesn't make it good. Maybe they can try and give you actual methods to find this path?

 

[HFK40000]

Brootal is he more attractive than you?

Personally I think she is more attractive than I am. I really think she's beautiful in every way.

That does seem kind of bland. Personally, I think you're wasting your time. Her silence could have been "great now I have his issues to deal with" and didn't know how to respond. Sorry for sounding harsh but believe me when I say I have been there. The only thing that got me past was a clean break, and in my case it was friends telling me to quit being such a *** and see what she's doing. Sometimes having a bad thing feels better than nothing, but it doesn't make it good. Maybe they can try and give you actual methods to find this path?

It's not the most exciting time of my life but, if it she does come back it will all be worth it. All my friends want me to move on. They don't see her the way I do and they don't have the memories I have. To me she is prefect and when I'm with her I get the type of feeling a person could live their whole life and never experience.

 

[Grav]

That's the feeling. Just be careful and don't expect much from her. Keep your friends close and heed their words. It'll sound like they just hate her but sometimes when we don't listen it takes a cold fish to the face to get our attention. Also remember if she's got a new guy he may have input on how she relates to you, if at all, and he definitely does not have your interests anywhere in his mind. I'd also push the therapist for more concrete work, maybe change if they are still blase.

 

[HFK40000]

That's the feeling. Just be careful and don't expect much from her. Keep your friends close and heed their words. It'll sound like they just hate her but sometimes when we don't listen it takes a cold fish to the face to get our attention. Also remember if she's got a new guy he may have input on how she relates to you, if at all, and he definitely does not have your interests anywhere in his mind. I'd also push the therapist for more concrete work, maybe change if they are still blase.

That's very true. I really just want to be part of her life in some way. Even if we are just friends my life will be more complete with her in it. I can definitely try to find more concrete things to work on with my therapist.

 

[Grav]

Cool. Take care of yourself in all things. Sometimes it takes time to be able to be friends with a past romantic partner, it lessens the fire.

 

[HFK40000]

Cool. Take care of yourself in all things. Sometimes it takes time to be able to be friends with a past romantic partner, it lessens the fire.

That's true. Right now you could say I'm playing both sides. I have everything set up to CTB if things don't work out and; I am taking steps to improve on my existing progress if things work out. (therapy, career planning, etc)