I think wednesday might be my last.

[ikadasui]

I genuinely can't afford it and my mother is struggling horrible to support my failure ass. Unbelivable, truly. only enjoyed maybe the first 12 or so years of my life and I say that lighty, and everything else has been a cascading shit show!! I truly wish I could see my biological parents once because my mother was a 17yr homeless girl and my father was nowhere to be found... so it's probably pretty safe to say I was not born from a consenting spur of the moment. All this pain because one man was most likely a demon in human skin and now I'm here, about to end it all without experiencing pretty much anything at all. And for what? I feel violated frankly that this is the hand I got played and the dealer responsibility is out of my reach

 

[jodes2]

Sorry you're suffering so much

What can't you afford?

While I totally understand if you do, I hope you don't end it, things can get better, you sound so young I wish I could send you strength ; admittedly not something I have much of spare right now. I understand and am sorry we'll all miss you and don't want to see you go

 

[freevoid]

I'm so sorry you're in this position. Sounds like you've had it rough. All I can say is that whatever you do I hope you find some peace.

I feel violated frankly that this is the hand I got played and the dealer responsibility is out of my reach

I really liked the way you've described this. It's exactly how I feel. Sick to my stomach with the unfairness and sadism of this realm.

 

[freedomcalls]

I'm sOrry things feel so overwhelming right now
I'd hate to see anyone CTB because they can't afford it, especially since you sound young…. Maybe things can change?

Also it sounds like you care about your Mom and are worried about her struggling to take care of you… but I promise that if she's struggling to take care of you it's because she cares about you and will be devastated by your death. I'm a Mom and I'd always rather struggle to support my child than have to bury them

It's 100% your choice and you will be supported irregardless of what you decide, but if you want to talk things through, maybe some of us can help you find a different way forward

 

[FuneralCry]

Procreation is such a cruel, tragic thing and the reality is that there is simply nothing fair about this world in any way. Having to continue an existence that is just endless suffering really is so dreadful, so I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.