Help I should have just done it.

[dwindlingfirst]

Recently I've been getting closer to my ctb, and was feeling semi-peaceful about it. I had planned everything out to a degree where it would have worked, and I just had to get the last of my courage and motivation to pick the date to end it all. But for some reason I had a moment where I thought it might be helpful to at least reach out for help one last time. I got up, and went to go speak to my school's mental health counselor. long story short, parents got involved, now every day im being reminded that "there's help" for me. I love my family, but now I wish I had just gone through with it. I feel like I'm just dragging the pain out for myself and for those around me. I should have just done it. The pain would be over, but now I'm being put through therapy and psychiatric care and possibly being put on medication. If it helps the pain go away, it might be worth it. I don't trust people though and Im constantly wishing I just caught the bus.

 

[kunikuzushi]

I know the feeling of wishing you just went through with it when you were ready. I hope you're not getting forced into medication or anything. but if you start to feel better from the help, then I hope you find things you enjoy and your pain is eased

 

[FuneralCry]

Telling other people about wanting to die will always be a terrible idea in this anti-suicide society as so many delusional people are in denial of the fact that suicide is a perfectly valid option. And anyway those people just want to force other people to suffer, they could never care about suicidal people anyway. I hope that you don't end up being tortured in a psych ward.